Thursday, January 11, 2007

Day 4

Last year I joined the Y around January in a feeble attempt to lose weight, and get in shape. I probably went a total of 10 times in 2006. Yes, I'm that asshole! I wound up spending 500 dollars last year on the Y and I went less then once a month. That makes me an even bigger asshole!

Special note: For those of you who are counting, that's roughly 500 bucks a year on the Y and 550 bucks a year on vending machine coffee. Translation: That's a thousand bucks a year being pissed down the drain.
This year I've gone to the Y three times, and I'm going today despite being extremely sore and it being really cold outside (there goes my base tan). Next January when the incoming crop of new Resoluters come in, I'm going to be first in line to ridicule them. I'm also going to complain ad nauseam about the fact that I can't get on a treadmill because one of these one week wonders has already spent 15 minuets trying to figure out how to turn the damn treadmill on. Well, I'll worry all about that in 2008. Right now I'm a rookie again aka an asshole.

I've been toying around with my schedule trying to figure out what time of the day I want to go to the Y. So far I've gone at 2:00 pm (The A Team), yesterday I went at 8:00 am (The Beverly Hillbillies or Saved By the Bell) and today I was going to go at 7:00 am (Star Trek) but it's starting to look more like 8 again. Since every treadmill has it's own TV it's very important for me to know what's on. If Star Trek is on for example, I wont pay any attention to my aches and pains, and I won't watch the clock obsessively waiting for my 40 to 60 minutes of treadmill time to be over.

I also have to factor in what crowd I want to associate myself with at the Y. First I have to say thank god I don't have to work out with the nine to five crowd. Their lives are to hectic for my taste, and I don't need to be around stressful people. 2:30 pm is no good either because the Y turns into a day care center for wayward teenagers. Shouldn't they be at roller rinks and arcades doing drugs or smoking? Besides I'm in bed at that time anyway. The 9:00 am crowd's not bad... Lots of milfs and not too many people. I also don't mind the 5:00 am to 7:00 am crowd. I always appreciate the blue plate special crowd.

In all seriousness I've always liked the YMCA. Lot's of humble people belong to the Y. I also did some research on the history of the Y this morning. According to what I read the game of basketball and Volleyball were invented to keep youngsters interested in going to the Y. Interesting stuff. While I'm at the Y on the treadmill this morning I'm going to create a new game invented to get youngsters excited about the Y, and the game will inevitably become an Olympic sport. Unless Star Trek is on, in that case I'm just going to watch TV.


Metal Mark said...

I have never been to a YMCA. I run on the roads and lift in my living room. Watching episodes of Scooby-Doo, Star Trek and F troop helps make lifting more fun.

Pixie said...

I need to join a gym, as soon as I get a dam job thats the first thing on my list.
Whether I go or not will be a whole different kettle of fish....

Kim Jong Ramone said...

Well that clears it up. I thought you sought out the YMCA based on what you heard in the Village People's song.

Yasamin said...

lmmfao@ kim jong's remarks!! hahaha

sorry. *ahem* you say asshole alot. do you like them? i'm going to call you Rimmy the asshole from now on. Don't make me sing your song to you ....

aaasssshoooollllee aaaa meeee oooo

oooooo ssooooddd aaaa meeee aaaaa


captain corky said...

Mark: It's been forever since I've seen F Troop. That show would definitely motivate me to pump some iron.

Pixie: If you get a job how will you be able to keep up with all the great TV you've been watching?

KJR: We can't all be card carrying satin jacket wearing, members of Gold's Gym.

Yasamin: Please don't encourage him.

RockDog said...

Maybe you could invent a Star Trek based sports event? Combine the two chocolate and peanut butter...but nerdier.

alicia said...

I hate those people at the gym!
I'm the worst, though...
I will get done with a really great workout, shower up... then go and smoke outside.
Every drag of the marlbro makes my sore lungs feel like they're on fire.
I know, I know... I need to quit.
As soon as I schedule that wisdom tooth extraction...

willSIX said...

Roller rinks...comedy gold.

Oh, and, uh, yeah, what KJR said. I'm guessing that history of the YMCA left out the part about where they because cruising grounds for gay men?

The Adult in Question said...

I have a FREE membership to the gym at my school and since I started in September I have gone a total of three times.
The first time I went, it was fine I was able to get a treadmill and go for two hours.
Second time, all the guys in the fire fighting program were there, using the treadmills and looking good.
Third time, I was insulted about my weight by someone heavier than me and since then I have refused to return.

Tod said...

I have a bad back so I don't feel guilty about not joining a gym. Does bellowing at a frozen server screen count as exercise?

Yasamin said...

lmao! i hate those women who have to do their makeup just to go to the gym!!! i hate it when men stare at my ass while im on the eliptical like they are starvin men and im the rump roast. i always feel like they're laughin at me.

and i shall encourage him if i choose to. lol

Big Pissy said...

I SHOULD be going to the YMCA to exercise.

Instead I just continue to sit on my fat ass....just seems easier that way.

theresa said...

10 times in one year, and you admit it publicly? That takes guts. You rock!

I went to a college that was founded by the YMCA and actually took an entire course on the history of the YMCA. I think you hit the big highlights here on your blog post.

Lady K said...

OH. MY. GOD. You make me laugh.

Just move next to a golf course. I hop the fence DAILY and get my workout running from the "golf sheriff" telling me that this is NOT the "bark park." It's a GREAT time. Hey man, if CARRY a dookie bag and pick UP, and if the flags are down, the carts are put away, I pay taxes in this town, too, right?

captain corky said...

Rockdog: Star Trek is not nerdy. Don't make me destroy you with my phaser!

Alicia, I used to run 5 miles a day and then put a dip in right after words. Just like sex I tell ya.

Will: Whatever happened to the Livingston roller rink, and the YMCA is a family place. How dare you insinuate anything like that!

Adult: I hate everything that's free, except for blogging of course :).

Tod, Yes! It definitely raises your blood pressure.

Yasamin: I saw a girl wearing make up yesterday. She had bright red lip stick on while she was on the treadmill. What the fuck?

Pissy: When I come home from work now, I have to avoid the couch at all costs or I won't get up to do anything for hours, sometimes days.

Theresa: Thanks for stoppping by and for the compliment. I really enjoyed reading some of your posts this morning. Check out her blog folks!

Lady: I can't move next to a golf course because all I'll do is fish. Ponds at golf courses are notorious for having monster bass, and if I wasn't fishing I'd be sitting at the bar so no can do.

Corky: Thanks for commenting man. As always your comments are insightful, funny and brilliant! Keep up the good work.

karma lennon said...

Ugh, I hate the gym. Props to you for actually going and all. :)

Lady K said...

Okay, maybe it's too early in the morning, and I'm here again, but now I can't get that Village People song out of my head. Thanks a lot, pal, just what I need on a Friday morning.

Steven Novak said...

I might actually like the show better when the teenage crowd was


I'm not a pervert...


Please believe me. :)


Dan said...

I probably went a total of 10 times in 2006.

Let me venture to guess about the number of visits.

Week 1 - 4 visits
Week 2 - 3 visits
Week 3 - 2 visits
Week 4 - 1 visits
Weeks 5 through 52 - 0 visits

Am I close?

Life, or Something Like It said...

Good for you! If I had a tread mill at home, I know that KC and I would use it. I'd like to find a way to walk the dogs on the treadmill.
I actually lived at the Y when I was 17...Does that count as anything???

Nonny said...

Well obviously everything needs planned around what's on TV at the time. That's like a rule or something.

Speaking of TV, are you all caught up on Smallville? It's getting really good.

The Grumbler said...

nonny, are you from west virginia or apalachia? (my fiance is) there's something about your voice that rings w. virginia in my ears.

captain corky said...

Karma: I don't mind the gym but I plan to write a post about all of the idiosyncrasies I've observed so far.

Lady K: I hope you enjoyed the earworm yesterday.

Steve: I've read enough of your posts to know better.

Nonny: Smallville was great on Thursday. I can't wait for next week's episode!

Life: I look forward to hearing that story over on your blog.

Dan: You pretty much nailed it right on the head.

The Lone Beader said...

I've never belonged to a gym in my life.

Brooklyn Frank said...

i used to belong to the Y. that doesn't mean anything to anyone but me, but it happens to be true.

Yasamin said...

isnt that just so wrong? and whats really sad is when they don't work too hard because they don't want their makeup to smear. ;0

WTF??? im like hey... hooker on the treadmill.. your eyemakeup is dripping.

god im so mean!!!

kat said...

Oh my god, Dan's comment kills me. Too funny.

But being a gym person, I'm going to be one of those annoying people that says "just keep at it, it gets easier, 21 times makes a habit".

When you get results, it motivates you - and results take more than ten trips. Just try 21. Try 21 times and see what happens.

Chucky said...

I also don't mind the 5:00 am to 7:00 am crowd

Woah that is way to early to be at a gym. I need to get going to a gym too. If I do start going I'm going to have be in that after work

But hey, you gto Star Trek to watch :)

James Burnett said...

I've been a Y member for about eight years, but a good Star Trek episode (only the original or Next Generation) trumps a workout any day.