Holiday Boxers

As some of you know, this is my favorite time of the year. A thousand reasons I could give you, but I'll just give you one for today: Holiday themed boxer shorts from old Navy.

It's always a holiday in my pants, and I don't wear anything but Holiday boxers. The big three are St Patrick's Day, Halloween, and Christmas. I know I've had Valentines Day boxers in the past and I have a dream that one day I'll own a pair of Martin Luther King Jr Day boxers shorts, but I'm pretty happy with the ones I have right now.

If you wait till the day after a holiday you can usually get them for two bucks a pair. I'm not a cheapskate by any means and In the past I've been pretty reckless and stupid with money, but I just can't bring myself to spend money on underwear. And before I discovered this phenomenal secret at Old Navy I was wearing underwear that had basically disintegrated into a waistband. But thanks to Old Navy I'm now stylish, always in or out of season with some holiday and very clean.

Looking down I see that that it's Christmas today, in my pants. ;)

Back to Business

Believe it or not, I'm not tired of Turkey and mashed potatoes, or mac-n-cheese, or pumpkin pie yet. Not even close. I think my stomach may be though. I think we should celebrate Thanksgiving 52 Thursdays a year. My stomach does not. My stomach thinks that I should eat tuna fish for every meal for the next year, but my brain says fuck that noise. It's a complete mess I tell ya.

In other news Jr is eating fruit and cereal two times a day and seems to love Bananas. He also likes Peaches and Applesauce. I still love him despite his affinity for fruit. I don't know how I'll deal if he winds up liking vegetables and I'm not talking about the good vegetables like corn and potatoes. I"m talking about shit like Zucchini and lettuce. But hear this! Aint No kid of mine will ever prefer vegetables over meat!!!

Please note: Max does not wear clothes while eating fruit and rice cereal. Just like his dad doesn't' wear clothes while eating steak and potatoes, lobster, or Chef Boyardee. Much easier to clean up that way, that's all.

Thank you for making Corky's Thanksgiving Day/Weekend Comment Parade a smashing success!

Thanksgiving Day 2007

Labor Day seems like it was just yesterday and yet here we are and it's already Thanksgiving Eve Day. It's a very busy day for a lot of Americans. Some people will be driving, some will be flying, some people will be cooking, and cleaning. Me? I'll be watching TV and spanking my bird.

Well... not all day. I still have to go shopping. Yes, I'm one of those assholes who waits until the Day before a holiday to do his grocery shopping. I hope I don't get into a brawl with some senile old lady over the last bag of flower this year.

But what I really want to write about today is how grateful and thankful I am this year. I've said it many times and I'll say it a million more before it's all said and done, this has been the best year of my life. Here's a brief explanation, but I think most of you know who, what, where, and why this has been such a great year for us.

I'm really looking forward to spending tomorrow with my wife and son while we watch the parade and eat cinnamon rolls and drink coffee. Then we cook, and then we go over to Allyson's Mom and Dad's house for food, drink, football, miracle, and expanding.

But while I'm doing all that we'll also be celebrating the official start of the Holiday season here on the log with the traditional Corky's Thanksgiving Day/Weekend Comment Parade. That's right folks, I'm also thankful for all of the wonderful comments I hope to receive. I want to know everything... What are you grateful for? What are you watching on TV? How many drinks have you had? Who's driving you crazy? What's your all time favorite drug? Is the Christmas tree up yet? What are your Thanksgiving traditions? Anything and everything goes!

PS All my friends from other countries and planets are encouraged to celebrate Thanksgiving with Corky and the Gang too. I wouldn't have it any other way. ;)

Dilemma on Thanksgiving Day

I've just recently discovered that NBC is planning on showing Miracle on 34th Street at 2:00 PM Eastern Standard Time on Thanksgiving Day. Now do you understand my Dilemma?

I'm not one of those guys who watches Chevy Chase and Steve Martin movies on Thanksgiving or Christmas. I just never really cared much for The Three Amigos go to Las Vegas.

However, Miracle on 34th Street is one of my all time favorite movies, and I own it on 8 track, vinyl, cassette, VHS, Beta Max, DVD, and HD DVD. It may also interest you to know that I watch it at least once or twice during months that are not traditionally associated with Thanksgiving, like February for example. Some People eat chocolate and other people kill themselves during the month of February.

So here's the dilemma: Along with cooking. eating and spending quality time with loved ones, I'll also be watching TV on Thursday and lots of it! There's a parade, and three football games to watch in between all of the frolicking. My day was planned out perfectly... But now I have a major mind fuck going on! Do I turn off part of the first game (packers vs Lions) to watch Miracle on NBC?

I think I should. I know I own it and could Tivo it, but I kind of want to watch it along with rest of the nation. Every once in a while I like to watch a television show with commercials. Just to try and remember what it was like for my parents, parents, parents. So what would you do? Help me, I'm lost...


Please Note: Corky's log does not close for the holidays. Ever. As a matter of fact, it's a place that you can come and write about whatever you want or need to write about . So make sure to come back on Wednesday to find out what we have planned for the long holiday weekend. Can you smell what the Captain's cooking? ;)

November

Time is really flying this month, isn't it? It seems like just yesterday I was on Stubhub paying, four times the face value, for a couple of Colts tickets for this Sunday's game against the Chiefs. I'm really excited about going to the game and the Colts should crush the Chiefs, but I do have a soft spot for the very underrated head coach of the Chiefs, Herm Edwards. He won me 50 bucks last year. If any of you happen to be watching the game on Sunday keep an eye out for me and Allyson, I'll be dressed like this guy at the game.

Next week is Thanksgiving and I'll be covering that holiday in great detail on my next post. I also have a really big project coming up very soon that I look forward to starting.

Tomorrow I get paid. I plan on paying bills with the money. After that I should have a little left over, and I'll probably buy some food at the grocery store or some bullshit like that. Direct Deposit combined with responsibility has really spoiled all the fun of getting paid. Know what I mean? By the time it comes it's gone and I have no bag of pot.

Today I went outside and took this picture because I think a grey sky is perfect for this time of year. It's not as cold as I would like it to be, but it will be tomorrow. At least that's what a number of online weather services that I check in with daily say. Tonight I plan on winning the Powerball. It only seems fair, and I promise not to turn into a complete asshole if I win. ;)

I mean when I win.

Steak

A couple of days ago my good friend Fiwa asked me to post a picture of the place where all the magic happens. Usually it's slightly messier because I actually use this desk. Like this morning for instance, there's a pot filled with Spagettios sitting in between the printer and the mouse pad. Imagine it if you will.

The past four days of my life have been crazy with shopping, eating, visiting, driving, shopping, eating, visiting, and shopping and eating. My Mother and Sister and Father stayed with us this weekend.

In other news Jr started eating Steak and potatoes last week. The doctor said that Max should start out on fruit and rice, but I corrected the quack and kindly told him that my kid wasn't a fucking rabbit, and that under no circumstance was he to eat anything other than animal flesh. In not so many words the Doctor, Allyson, and my Mother told me that I was an asshole.

Everyday is something new with this kid, and it just get more and more incredible. This kid is amazing already.

My Favorite Thing

This week has been about the roughest week I've had to face since Max was born. First the Colts lose to the Patsies and then I internalise the fact that the Writers Guild of America is on strike. I am not prepared to deal with reruns in November, and December and maybe much longer than that. Fuck.

With the Holidays coming up I was looking forward to new Thanksgiving and Christmas episodes of the Big Bang Theory, I love Lucy, Eight is Enough, Charles In Charge, Happy Days, Star Trek, All in the Family, The Odd Couple, Seinfeld, The Love Boat, Smallville, Fantasy Island The Honeymooners, and last but not least Starsky and Hutch. Now how am I going to do to get into the holiday spirit? Fuck.

For the last two days I've done nothing but hold Max and listen to Tony Bennett's version of, My Favorite Things. And the worst part is that it's not helping. By the time silver white winter melts into spring, the strike could still be going on. Again, what am I going to do? Double Fuck.

Not only am I worried about my family, but I'm worried about you too! How are you going to cope? Please don't turn to drugs, drinking, over eating, gambling, and God forbid... Reality TV. This is worse than the B stinging, the dog biting, and my balls feeling blue all combined in to one. Triple Fuck.

We've got to come up with an alternative plan to watching TV that does not include setting up meth labs in our basements. I know we can do this if we put our heads together.

The House Guest

Please be advised that if you need to get in touch with God, Max, Allyson, or Corky today from 4:00 PM to 8:00 Pm ( Eastern Standard Time) we wont be available. We'll be watching the Colts play the Patriots. The most important event in the history of mankind since God gave Moses the 10 Commandments on Mt Sinai.

Does anybody have any idea what God likes to eat or drink? I don't want to fuck up and serve the Creator

something he doesn't like. I'm pretty much willing to bet my soul that he likes Budweiser though. I mean who doesn't? However, if anyone has any ideas or recipes that they wouldn't mind sharing with me I would be truly grateful. And I'd be sure to put in a good word with You Know Who for ya. I plan on making sure that my living room is immaculate when he gets here. It's no stadium luxury box,

that's for sure, but it will be clean. This Corky Vows!

If the Colts lose today it's going to be a very long and dark next two months. Still, I won't impose on our
guest and ask him to influence the outcome of the game. That would just be absurd to say the least...
Update: 11/5/2007

I almost jumped in to the Ohio River and ended it all last night after the game, but then this nice old man named Clarence came along, and in a manner of speaking, pointed out that in fact I really do have a wonderful life. Looks like the next couple of months are going to be fantastic!