One Year Later...

Before deciding to use this picture for my post I had to research and find out if it was socially responsible to be seen in a white shirt before Memorial Day. I couldn't find a definitive answer or a real reason as to why people don't wear white after Labor Day so I guess it all depends on who you ask. If you ask me I say fuck it. White has always looked good on me.

Anyway, the reason I broke out the fancy Motion Picture Uniform for this post is because exactly one year ago today is the day that I discovered I was a brilliant writer (with a few grammar and spelling issues).

Before Corky's log I was a nobody. A real zero with all sorts of compulsions and unresolved issues... Someday when you have some time and a deep pot of coffee you should check out my amazing transformation from ugly tree eating Moth to beautiful grass hovering Butterfly. It truly is sensational.

Besides coming to terms with myself as a person and reconciling my relationship with the Lord through blogging, I've also been able to share my television viewing habits with my closest friends and family on a daily basis, at their convenience of course. That's been really important to me.

The relationships that I have formed with other bloggers have become real and very important to me also. Really. I like you guys and gals a lot. As a matter of fact, I don't even mind the random fucks that come to the log through google and stay for five minutes. Who knows, it could be the most important 5 minutes of somebodies life.

Lastly, I would like everyone to observe a moment of silence (at your convenience of course) for the bloggers who no longer blog... And now lets have a toast: To another wonderful year of Corky's log.

Update

My wife Allyson took this picture while we were driving home from vacation a couple of weeks ago. About 50 miles east of Wheeling West Virginia if I'm not mistaken. Joyce Dewitt is from Wheeling. I just learned that 20 seconds ago. I definitely would have banged Janet back in the day. I liked her much better than Chrissy. But out of all the women on that show I liked Priscilla Barns (Terry) the best.

In other news Allyson is feeling Corky Jr on a daily basis now. It's really exciting and amazing stuff. I don't think I have ever seen her as happy as she is now. And that's including the time I took her to the county fair and bought her an ice cream cone. This has been a very special time in our life together.

In older news when we were in NJ my mother had a very nice baby shower for us. Thanks Mom. My family and friends got a chance to meet Allyson's family for the first time. The shower was a lot of fun and we got just about everything we registered for, and I do mean everything. Yesterday the UPS driver came and dropped off a bunch of wonderful gifts like a crib and some furniture. I got to carry most of the heavy stuff up a flight of stairs by myself. But don't worry, I'm pretty strong.

I've got my work cut out for me over the next couple of months but it should be a lot of fun getting everything ready for Corky Jr.

Today is my friend Matt's birthday. He's 33 years old and I've been friends with him for over 25 years.

1959

Friends,
I apologize for not writing a post yesterday. Let me assure that I'm in this for the long haul. Although things have been a little busier at work, and Allyson is becoming more pregnant by the minute, I must confess that the real reason I didn't write a post yesterday or over the weekend is because TV Land is showing the 1959 Season of Bonanza.

People who watch or watched shows like Mash or All in the family can completely understand why I'm so excited. The first 5 years that Bonanza was on the air were the best. And the 1959 season (the first year) was the absolute best. The show was on for 14 years. Golly... Even longer than Friends. Just imagine if Star Trek had been on for 14 years instead of just 3. My life would be so different today.

Another factor that might have contributed to me not writing a post yesterday is the sun. It was in the 80's yesterday and I spent most of the early morning hours debating whether I should go fishing or not. I didn't but I should have. A couple people at work told me it wound up being a real nice day. Too bad.

Well the rest of the week should be good my friends. There are a couple more 1959 episodes of Bonanza on this week, I might go fishing, and rumor has it that it's the Birdman's birthday on Wednesday.

The artist currently known as Corky

I love digital photography. Before digital cameras I used to buy those Kodak disposable cameras that took really shitty pictures and made everyone look like they were possessed by the devil. Used to be I only took pictures of people I knew and events that I was involved with. But I've grown as a person and an artist... Now I take pictures of snowy hills, tall buildings and catfish.

Rarely do I waste my time taking pictures of human flesh anymore. I'd rather take a picture of an abandoned Sugar factory. Maybe in a couple of years the factory will mysteriously reopen amd be run by a bunch of Umpa Lumpa's. That would be sweet.

This used to be a sanitarium. While the tour guide was giving the history and the background information about this place I was seriously wondering if people fish off the rocks, how deep the water is, and what kind of fish are caught in East River and the Hudson. Every other town in America has an abandon nut house! I'm more interested in what's going on under the river.

I think that's about it for now. Make sure to check out Saturday Night Live this weekend. Peyton Manning is hosting. He should be able to carry that dreadful show.

Back to the grind

We finally made it home and it's taken me a day and a half to recover, but I think I'm back to my normally scheduled programing. I always get a little sad when I come home from NJ. After all, it's where I grew up and most of my family and friends still live there, but this time I had an especially hard time leaving because of Kim Jong Ramone's Hi-Def Vizio. I pretty much envision Heaven being a lot like KJR's living room... Multiple couches, digital cable, and Hi-Def TV. Who could ask for anything more?

Another highlight of my vacation was the 4 hours I spent in New York City with my wife and in-laws. We spent 3 and half of the four on the Circle Line boat tour of New York. It's definitely the best way to see New York if you only have an afternoon to do it in. I certainly wasn't going to take my mother in-law to my old stomping grounds, " And this is where I used to buy acid Sharon."

I really learned a lot from the Circle Line tour guide. According to him a lot of movies get filmed in New York City, lots of famous actors and actresses have lived and live in NY, and sooner than later there's going to be nothing in New York but Condos. Very informative. My only complaint about the tour is that I felt that the New Jersey side of the river got neglected a bit.

I think I also learned that the guy who designed the Eiffel tower had something to do with the Statue of Liberty, but I wasn't really paying attention... I was in line trying to get a hot dog. Plenty of great junk food on the Circle Line.

I've got plenty more pics that I will be posting on, Shore Leave in the next couple of days.

The last thing I want to say until tomorrow is that I find it highly ridiculous that Eddie Van Halen and his brother did not attend Van Halen's induction into the Rock-n-Roll hall of fame ceremony because he was in rehab. The 80's called, get over it Eddie.

We finally made it home and it's taken me a day and a half to recover, but I think I'm back to my normally scheduled programing. I always get a little sad when I come home from NJ. After all, it's where I grew up and most of my family and friends still live there, but this time I had an especially hard time leaving because of Kim Jong Ramone's Hi-Def Vizio. I pretty much envision Heaven being a lot like KJR's living room... Multiple couches, digital cable, and Hi-Def TV. Who could ask for anything more?

Nor'easter

Yesterday it was in the low 60's at one point. Today it's 30 degrees, snowing and, according to the news, the beginning of a nor'easter. Help! I'm worried that I'm never going to get out of New Jersey. If I were in any other state and was given 24 hours notice that a big storm was about to hit, and it was close to the end of my vacation, I would have packed my bags and hit the road immediately. But when I'm in New Jersey I lose my ability to reason... Yesterday when Kim Jong Ramone and I were discussing the impending storm the only thing I was concerned about was whether the Chinese restaurants around here deliver in Blizzards. Good news: they do.

Allyson and I have been staying with Kim Jong Ramone for the last couple of days (he kind of begged me to stay). When he asked me if he could work from home today because of the storm I told him that this was acceptable as long as he understood that his office and computer would be used as the Captain Corky Nor'easter tracking center. Here at the center my responsibilities include monitoring the storm with state of the art technology, like the Internet, TV and the window. And every half hour I go out and shovel the sidewalk like a 70 year old man.

Hopefully the storm will end by tomorrow so we can head back to Louisville. I've got a ton of pics that I plan on posting next week and I hope everyone is well.

Shore Leave

My vacation starts in less then 12 hours and I'm already miffed! The only thing I've been able to think about is how I'm getting fucked out of an hour this week because of Daylight Savings Time. I'm not going to go on and on about all the things I could have done with that hour because I'll just get more upset, and before you know it my vacation will be over, my blood pressure will be alarmingly high, and I'll be on the verge of having a stroke. Nope I'm not going to dwell on that lost hour. Instead I'm going to get excited for all the good stuff that's going to happen next week.

My in-laws are coming with us to New Jersey this time. It will be the first time that Allyson's parents get to see New York. Also, my mother is throwing a baby shower/reception for us on Sunday so that should be a lot of fun. And of course I'm going to hang out with the usual suspects, eat a lot of great food, watch TV, and maybe even jerk off once or twice next week. I'm also going to be bringing my video camera and I'm hoping to do a feature on the Birdman and his new girlfriend. They've only gone on three dates so far, but it sounds like they're off to a good start. I'm hoping that she's not camera shy and I know that he's not...

I can't remember if they have computers in New Jersey yet, but I think they might. I'll be checking in with you guys sometime next week. Have a great week and think of me often. And please remember to set your clocks one hour ahead.

I Knew There Was a Reason I've Never Been to Alabama

I mean, aside from the whole "why would anybody want to go to Alabama" rationale, which, while facially valid, isn't nearly as likely to cause major ear worm for mon Capitán, the Corkster. Sleante!

TV rots your brain!

As most of you know, I don't watch a lot of television. It's not my thing. Watching to much television rots your brain according to my Auntie Grizelda. Don't worry, I never pass judgement on others who do watch a lot of television. Not everyone's life can be as exciting as mine is. That's just the way the cookie crumbles folks. No reason to slit your wrist over it... But there are a couple of shows that I do watch.

On Monday nights I watch Heroes (off Peak). On Tuesday nights I watch a couple of Law & Orders and sometimes the Gilmore Girls with Allyson. I can't remember what I watch on Wednesday nights, but I know that I'm in front of the tube from the time I wake up until I have to leave for work. I also like to be in front of the so called idiot box at 10:59 for the weekday Powerball drawing. Thursday night is the best night of television thanks to Smallville and Grey's Anatomy. Friday night I like to turn off the Networks and watch a rented movie with my wife. Of course I record regular Law & Order. Saturdays are spent watching westerns on TV Land and Sundays are spent in a cold sweat as I eagerly await the 2007 NFL season. Sometimes work interferes with my regularly scheduled programing, but that's why God created Tivo!

Speaking of television, Willsix and I were discussing Heroes yesterday and he told me that one thing he could do without are all of the special guest stars that appear on the show like, Mr. Sulu for example. Initially I agreed with him but then I got to thinking... In the 1970's and early 80's out of work Actors and Actresses went to the Love Boat to take their final bows. Check out the cast of the Love Boat on IMDB. Simply amazing. So why not offer the show Heroes to a new generation of has beens? So actors like Malcolm Mcdowell and Mr. Sulu can go out with some class and dignity for Christ's Sake!

Another point I would like to make about Heroes is that the show is getting much better now that Peter Pitrelli has real power. Unfortunatly the show still lacks that dynamic and powerful character that all great TV shows must have in order for me to worship them until the day that I die. What? Do you think the Love Boat would have been on for 10 years without Gavin Macleod playing the great Captain Stubing? I think not!

With one magic word: Corky

It's amazing what a difference a day makes. I feel fantastic this morning! Maybe somebody spiked my coffee with an upper last night. Very rarely do I feel this good with out the aid of at least two stimulants.

Anyway, I know a lot of people who read this blog assume that I was a fucking geek when I was younger. Let's clear the air now... I was not. I apologize to all the geeks who think they relate to me. I was really cool. Sorry. There are dozens of stories in the Jedi Library about how cool I was, but today I have a confession to make... When Captain Corky, Willsix and the Birdman were younger we used to play roll playing games like Dungeons and Dragons, DC Heroes, Champions, Marvel, and Top Secret (James Bond- esque). We made sure to do this when nobody was looking and we always drew the shades at the Birdman's house to insure complete privacy and secrecy.

Still, we had a lot of great times creating characters and going on adventures when we weren't getting laid or huffing on gasoline in the Birdman's parents garage. Please Note: The Birdman and Willsix may or may not have huffed on gasoline in the Birdman's parents garage.

I know I've mentioned this before, but I have a note book full of the characters we created throughout the years and one day soon I'm going to put them on a disc and share these pictures with the world. Why? Because that's just what I do.

About Captain Marvel: Captain Marvel was created in 1939. The character was designed to look like Fred McMurray (My Three Sons). To learn more about Captain Marvel go to your local library or google the name Captain Corky. Er... I mean Captain Marvel.

This Post Is Not Kosher

As longtime readers of the Log know, one reason I exist on this earth is to provide major league ear worms for our Blog Captain.

The other reasons remain as much a mystery to me today as they have since the day I realized I will never own an actual lightsaber. However, that's neither here nor there. Enjoy!

After School Special

Last night while I was eating dinner I started thinking about all the close calls I had as a kid. It's only natural to think about these kinds of things when there's only 4 months left until the big arrival. Spiderman 3 and Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer both come out before Corky Jr does and I really haven't given either of them a second thought. As a matter of fact I barely even care. Ok... that was a big fucking lie! Fantastic Four looks incredible, and the Spidey flicks obviously speak for themselves. But you know what I mean, I've got parenting and child on the brain 24/7.

On the way home from dinner I thought it would be fun to start telling my wife about some of my favorite childhood trauma stories.

Story # 1
The first one I thought about happened at a camp ground. I can't remember how old I was but it was a long time ago. I was fishing and using one of my father's antique lures (A flying mouse). I got it snagged up in a tree and I was afraid that he was going to have a shit fit, so I climbed up the tree to fetch it. When I got to the top of the tree I slipped and started falling. I was pretty high up and the only thing that saved me from getting seriously hurt were the branches that were breaking as I fell. The branches slowed me down enough to where I only got a couple of scratches. I got a major adrenalin rush from that experience and of course nobody was there to see it happen. If it happened today some creep would be in the tree next to me video tapping the whole thing.

Story #2
When I was a kid teachers used to keep students after school when they misbehaved or didn't get all of there work done. I spent a lot of time at school after school. Put it this way, sometimes I would get out so late that the crossing guard would already be gone. Yeah! A couple of times I had to cross the double yellow line by myself. As if that wasn't traumatic enough, one time while I was walking home some fucking freak tried to pick me up. He slowed down, opened his door and motioned for me to get in. I turned white and flipped out. I turned around and ran to my friend's house screaming all the way. After I got there my friend's mom called the police but I could barely remember anything about the guy or the car he was driving. The only thing I remember is that the guy had pointed glasses. It took me a long time after that to feel comfortable walking alone. Question: Are teachers still allowed to keep kids after school? Somehow I doubt it.

Story # 3

During Christmas break one year I went with the Y to see Batman, Robin, and Bugs Bunny on Ice in New York City. Maybe it was the Ice Capades or something. I can't remember. But I do remember getting lost. Yes, there are many events in my life that have been turned in to an after school special. Problem is I didn't get to star or watch any of them (see Story #2 to find out why). Anyway, somehow I got lost from the group. It must have been inside Madison Square Garden or Radio City Music Hall. All I know is that there were thousands of people and I didn't recognize any of them. Fortunately I had the good sense to go directly to a cop and tell him that I was lost. I didn't fuck around when the shit hit the fan when I was a kid. Thanks to the NYPD I was reunited me with my group rather quickly.
I think three stories is enough for the first day of March. Be careful out there today. There's always a ton of assholes out an about on the first day of the month.