Only 4 Days Left!

I still haven't purchased any Candy for
Halloween yet. How fucked up is that?

I wish I had some Easter Candy to give out on the 31st...

Since I only get 20 to 22 trick-or-treaters a year It would be affordable to give one hollowed out chocolate bunny per customer. I wonder if their parents would let the kids eat it... Would you let your kid eat a chocolate bunny that he or she received from Captain Corky on Halloween?

Note: Don't worry, I wouldn't give out any stale bunnies. As soon as I purchased them, at the discounted price the Monday after Easter, I would put them in the freezer within the week.

Luckily I was watching football on Sunday and was reminded that It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown is on tonight at 8:00 PM (Eastern Standard Time) on ABC. Have you set your DVR to record it yet? And please don't bullshit me and tell me you have it on DVD or even worse VHS. I'm not buying it.

We plan on bringing Max to the Zoo on Friday to do whatever they do at the Zoo on Halloween. I hope there's a costume party cause this year I'm going as Captain Kirk. I'm thinking about going as Admiral Kirk next year, but I'm not sure yet.

Can you guess who Max is going as? Sorry no prizes will be given out if you guess correctly, but you will win a special place in Corky's heart FOREVER if you do.

The End of this Post

MUST WATCH TV

THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Shooting Star

I saw a shooting star on my way home from work tonight. It was around 4:45 AM Eastern Standard Time.

Initially I thought it was a shooting star, but then I thought it might be a bottle rocket. But that really didn't make any sense and anyone who'd be shooting off firecrackers at 4:45 in the morning on October the 20th has real fucking issues.

For about a split second after that I thought it might be a missile about to wipe out Kentucky, but since I'm still alive after seeing it I had to rule out nuclear attack.

After that brief moment of panic I remembered that a person gets to make a wish after seeing a shooting star and I wished for the the first thing that came to mind. I blame the Kentucky Lottery, the economy and my overhaul distaste for working on what I initially wished for.

Then I felt guilty about my wish because there are so many bigger things and more important things that I could use a wish for so I changed my wish about three or four times and I'm still going back and forth on what I should wish.

I hope there isn't any statue of limitation on how much time I get before I have to make an official wish or there might not be world peace anytime soon. I'm also scared that my first wish might be the one I get stuck with and I'll feel really guilty about the human condition as I'm driving down the street in my very own Bentley.

The Way to Eden

1. I just took a look at my retirement funds online and it appears that I've lost about half of what I had a few weeks ago. Shit. Looks like I'll be bagging grocerys after I retire.

"Brooks was here"

2. My birthday is coming up in about seven days or so and I was so hoping to wake up to find a slightly used Ford Escape (with a bow) sitting in the driveway. Before the collapse of the world economy my credit rating was asshole. Now it must be: Don't even think about it fucking dickhead!

3. I played bingo with some friends the other night and I didn't win. I've never won playing bingo, but the fried snacks and the white trash make up for it every time. One time I watched a woman hit both jackpots and she was crying because she finally had some money to give to her son who was going away to college. As she was thanking God I was cursing him.

4. I could go on and on, but really things are good and I'm feeling fine. For the rest of the day these words will be playing in my head:

Heading out to Eden
Yea brother
Heading out to Eden
No more trouble in my body or my mind
Gonna live like a king on whatever I find
Eat all the fruit and throw away the rind
Yea brother, yea.

Note: Originally these words were sung by a space hippie named Adam (right) on an episode of Star Trek called The Way to Eden. Sadly, Adam met his demise after biting into a poisonous piece of fruit that kind of looked like a pear with some paint slapped on the side of it.

In Memoriam

Michael Friedman

1989 - 2008

Learn

Give

Help Find a Cure

Peace. -willsix

UPDATE: Watch