Benadryl Addict

On Friday afternoon I looked over at my son Max and for a brief second he looked like a reptile...

Was this because I've had my head buried in Harry Potter books for the past two weeks or was it because I had just been shot up with Benadryl in the ER and one of the side affects of Diphenhydramine is hallucinations? Maybe a combination of both.

It was kind of weird looking at Max and seeing a sleestack peering back at me, but I have had some experience with drugs in the past and was able to dismiss the disturbing vision rather quickly. Still, until I looked up the side affects of benadryl this morning, I thought it was kind of weird.

Over the past three months I've had three severe allergy attacks with all sorts of crazy symptoms, like Hives (in very uncomfortable places) Panic, swollen fingers, swollen tongues, and itchiness etc. Really, I only panicked the first time cause I didn't know what was going on, but luckily Web MD informed me of what was happening and assured me that if I didn't seek medical attention immediately I could go into shock and DIE. I heart Web MD.

When I was a child I had asthma and I was also allergic to chalk dust, house dust, saw dust, and leaf dust. In other words I'm allergic to dust. So when I went to the allergist after the first attack It was officially confirmed that I am allergic to dust. I'm also allergic to some random tree that is common to New England.

It could also be that I'm allergic to certain kinds of food, (the allergist and I discussed this) and I just want to point out that these attacks first started when I betrayed my beloved all starch diet for foods rich in whole wheat, peanut oil and potassium. What was I thinking...

Anyway since I've become really good at self diagnosis I will continue to do research and experiment with different types of food to discover what's causing these allergy attacks. Or maybe I'll just stick to eating Ramon Noodles and never think about this shit again.

Back to Benadyrl for a minute though, intravenous Benadryl use is quite enjoyable and has quickly become my drug of choice, but unfortunately I'm running out of veins for the nurses to use. If it happens again, next time I will suggest my eyeball and I will ask Turtle Boy to wait patiently in the waiting room with Mommy until Daddy is done freaking out.

The Dark Knight and some other random stuff.

I've got two or three subjects lined up for this post including a a review of the The Dark Knight, a tribute to Canada and some other random stuff.

Last Saturday Allyson, Erika, and I went to see the Dark Knight. We arrived pretty late, but still had time to catch most of the trailers and get some snacks. I got a waffle cone with chocolate ice cream and chocolate sprinkles. The cone was also covered in chocolate. Next time I'll order the same thing except that I'll opt for a plain waffle cone. The chocolate coating was a wee bit rich for my blood. Allyson and Erika both got Nachos. The big difference between their orders was that Allyson loaded hers up with jalapenos and Erika loaded hers up with extra cheese. I snagged one or two nachos from Allyson. Allyson and I also shared a large drink. The movie theater's here in Louisville mostly feature Pepsi products and because I prefer Pepsi and Allyson prefers Dr. Pepper we always compromise at the movies and get Sprite. Parking wasn't an issue.

By the time we entered the theatre it was packed. The only seats available were in the first two rows. We wound up sitting in the second row and to my great surprise my neck wasn't sore by the end of the movie and I could still hear out of my right ear. I guess they do a better job of constructing movie theatres these days.

Mostly the previews sucked. The trailer for the Watchmen looks cool, but I can't even remember any of the others. One of the main reasons why I went to see the Dark Knight in the first place is because I read a rumor on a faulty website ( IMDB) that the trailer for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was going to debut on July 18th. I guess somebody up at Warner Bros changed his or her mind and as a result I the fan was tragically let down.

The movie itself kicked ass. Heath Ledger kilt it as the Joker. All the other actors were great, the cinematography was breathtaking and the costume design was elegant. I left the theatre wanting to pay another 40 bucks to see it again (Chocolate waffle ice cream cone without chocolate coating included).

Since seeing the Dark Knight I've spent a lot of time reading reviews of the movie and it seems that a lot of film critics and a lot of bloggers like it A LOT. I liked it too. One blogger even went on to say that The Dark Knight makes up for all for the other Batmen movies (excluding Batman Begins) and that now DC is on par with Marvel as far as the Super Hero movie genre is concerned. Bullshit.

A different subject: As most of you know from reading this blog for two plus years, whenever TV goes on hiatus or there's a writer's strike Allyson and I have to find other ways to occupy our free time together. Usually we get hooked on a TV show from yesteryear, like Alias for example. But this Summer is different... This Summer we started reading together. Last week Allyson read two books in between going to school, watching The Dark Knight and raising our one year old. I read 1 and 3/4 Books in between working, raising our one year old and reading reviews about The Dark Knight.

The books are about a young wizard named Harry Potter and his experiences at a school called Hogwarts. I highly recommend Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Allyson is somewhere in the middle of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The novels are amazing and because I'm so obsessed with Harry Potter right at this moment I also spent part of the week reading spoilers about that last two books.

And finally I'd like to give a shout out to the country of Canada. I dream of fishing your majestic waterways someday and your country has also produced one of the finest rock bands in the history of rock-n-roll .

Baby Boom

The other day I read an article on AOL (the only reliable news source one should ever trust) about 2007 being the year for America's next Baby Boom. About 4,315,000 million babies were born in 07, the most in American history. The article went on to say that it can't really be considered a Baby Boom because the population is so much larger now then it was in 1957 (the peak of the post World War II Baby Boom). But quickly after that sentence I lost interest in the article and closed the link. It would really crush me if you did the same after reading the first paragraph of this post.

How fucking dare you!

I consider myself to be an independent thinker and I try to be an original, but maybe I'm not... Maybe I'm just as mindless as the other 4,314,999 men that decided to shoot their loads in 2007. And just in case you don't know, 4,314,999 + 1 = 4,315,000.

When my wife and I decided that we wanted to become parents in 2006 I don't recall saying to her "we might as well, everyone else is doing it." I remember wanting to be a father so I had a son to play ball with, a son to go fishing with, a son to carry on the legacy of Captain Corky some day, and most importantly a son that I could love. All original and sensible reasons for wanting to have a child.

I also remember a lot of celebrities having babies in 2007 and all sorts of movies being made on the subject, and at the time I was swept up in the emotion of being an expecting parent and the timing seemed perfect. But now I'm starting to realize that Max is going to have a lot more competition than either me or any of the Baby Boomers ever had when he strikes out on his own into the cold cruel world.

True he will have the gift of my blood running through his veins and the Corky looks and the Corky intellect that I bestowed upon him, but will that be enough for him to compete with the other 4,314,999 human beings born in 2007? And what about all the babies that were born in 2006 and all the babies that are being born now? That's a shit load of babies!

Let's just be clear about something though, when Allyson and I decide to have our next baby it won't be because Brad Pitt's having a baby, or a crusty old book tells us that we should be fruitful and multiply, and it certainly won't be because of my fear and insecurities about my own mortality, and we won't even have anouther kid for the tax credit. I'm simply not that mindless. It'll be because three Corkys are better than two.

Corn Flakes

Last night while I was at work I found myself fantasizing about eating a heaving bowl of Corn Flakes.

It really makes sense if you think about it, because A. I was hungry and B. I got a killer deal on a box yesterday at Target. I paid under 3 dollars for a 1 pound, 2 ounce box. That's not bad.

There's no chance that you'll find that kind of a deal at your local grocery stores like Safeway, Kroger, ShopRite or even Foodtown for that matter. At least not without a membership card and coupons out the wazoo.
I didn't really look around to see if they had great deals on other cereals. I like Rice Krispies too, but this one's not about that...

As soon as I'm done writing this post I'm going to make myself a bowl. And don't worry, I'm not going to sex it up with bananas or surround my bowl with orange juice, grapefruit juice or toast. I'm just going to get a bowl and load it up with Corn Flakes and Vitamin D fortified 100% whole milk. Chances are I'll have seconds, but I'll wait and see how my stomach responds to eating the first bowl. I already know how my mouth and heart will respond.
This is how it will go: I'll click on Publish Post, get out of my chair, walk to the kitchen, open box of cereal, pour cereal into bowl, pour milk into bowl, grab a tablespoon, bring bowl back to computer room, let bowl sit for about two or three minutes, and then I'll feast. It's going to be glorious.

Please Note: Captain Corky never uses teaspoons for eating unless it's an emergency, like a picnic or if I'm at somebody else's house and either they don't own silverware or most of it's dirty.

One

The kid turned 1 yesterday. No longer will I have to spend unnecessary time trying to calculate how old he is by month, week, hour or second. From now on he's one. Maybe in Six months I'll tell people he's 1 1/2 depending on my mood, but for now he's 1.

The kid's birthday party was a lot of fun. We barbecued, opened presents and ate cake. Next year will probably be a bowling/fishing party. As long as there are no clowns or pinatas I think everyone will be happy.

I took a vid of the kid eating his cake, but it turned out really dark. I'll have to work on it and see if I can get it ready to air on the log by November Sweeps. It's pretty funny. There were four of us screaming like fools while the kid shoved a ridiculous amount of cake all over the place.

Now that Max's Birthday has passed I can concentrate my energy into deciding what the kid's going to be for Halloween and who he should take with his first draft pick (which is next next month). As for Halloween though it'll be between Kirk, Superman, or a cowboy. Every Year as long as the kid lives under my roof!

Captain Corky's 1st Annual Fourth of July Comment-a-thon!

In America the 4th of July in known as Independence Day and has always been a day of great tradition. A time for drinking Budweiser, eating hot dogs and hamburgers, participating in three legged wheel barrel races, playing badminton, eating watermelon, buying new furniture, smoking pot down at the Mall in Washington DC, and of course watching fireworks right after the sun goes down (while preferably drinking more Budweiser).

I have seen Firework displays in Louisville, KY, New York City, and Livingston, New Jersey, but by far the best place to watch the fireworks on the 4th of July is Washington, DC. No contest. There's just something really amazing about watching them go off over the monuments. Makes you feel all warm and patriotic inside.

Be careful about how much you drink while you're down at the Mall in DC though, because the lines to the port-a-johns get insane by the time the fireworks actually start and because there are so many people down there you can't just piss in a bush or behind a tree or on the Lincoln Monument.

Independence Day is a good holiday. Is it my favorite holiday? No. Do I like it? Yes. I would probably rank it right up there with Halloween, but it ain't no Christmas or Thanksgiving.

So while you're all participating in three legged wheel barrel races or drinking Budweiser, take a few seconds and come on over to Corky's log for Captain Corky's First Annual Fourth of July Comment-a-thon! Leave as many comments as you like. I encourage all of my friends from foreign places to participate as well.

The comment-a-thon will go from today until Sunday the 6th which happens to be Max's 1st Birthday. More about that on Sunday. But for now let's get this party started. Quickly.