Sunday, April 23, 2006

Look Corky, It's Perseus

I realized shortly after writing my first character profile that I couldn't tell all my wonderful stories with out introducing the key players in those stories. So doing this thing in alphabetical order is out. Besides I know you prefer it to be random, Corky style.

The Kid flash is another one of those mystery men that is considered to be a thrill seeker. But what kid wouldn't be, if he or she could move at the speed of light, or run across the ocean in the same manner a stone skips across a pond. I know I was, I mean I would have been an adventurer if I could run at the speed of light.

When I was younger, I had a head hunter in my employ. His name was Bik and his responsibilities included scouting out the new kids in the neiborhood and making sure that they weren't mutts(a mutt is a dog with no heart). So one day Bik told me he found such a kid. He took me through trails and bushes until we finally crossed over the Rainbow Bridge of Asgard and in to Dougs front yard. There was Doug standing there in all of his Hasbro, first line, GI JOE glory. My thought process went something like this, "ok Doug, You've got Corky's attention. Now lets see what you can do with it". Needless to say me and Doug became fast friends that day and the rest is history.

When Doug was younger he had a medical condition know as Childhood alzheimer's disease. Where ever we would go he would have moments of disorientation and would spout out things like, "Look there is Perseus". We would have to calm him down and say things like, "No, that's a squirrel, not your pet ferret.

When Doug was not going to Alter boy practice or practicing his guitar or studying with his tutors he liked to spend the rest of his free time with Corky and the gang. When Corky and Doug were left to their own devises they would spend most afternoons swinging heavy sticks at each others heads. We also shared a passion for pissing off our fathers. We would go in to my basement and take all of my fathers Stanley screwdrivers and sharpen the heads of them in to fine points. Then we would take those same screwdrivers and go over to Dougs house and destroy his fathers trees. Specifically the only tree in his front yard. Today they lock children up for behaving like that, but back then it was called good fun. Don't worry Ralphi, while you and Flick were getting yours me and doug were getting ours. We also belonged to a football team called the undergrounds and nothing pleased Corky more than throwing a bomb to doug and watching him burn kids twice his size. By the way we got really good at throwing screwdrivors in to trees.

And then the dark times started. Well they were quite fun at first. Again we were pissing off our fathers but this time we were drinking all thier booze. But before we get into the Kid flashes transformation to Darth Vader I have to tell you that I consider Doug to be one of my brothers as well. He is the brother i consider to be my guardian angel. One time after one of Corkys three week binges Doug came over while

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