Friday, June 23, 2006

Why are we here?

Have you ever wondered why so many people waste so much of their precious time on this blue marble asking this question. The answer to this age old question is quite obvious. Excluding eating, shitting and sleeping, were here to fight, fuck and fuss.

What you don't agree with me? How many times have you stood behind somebody in a grocery line, and said to your spouce, "what the fuck? How many coupons does this mother fucker have? I'm sorry honey, your going to have to start going to the grocery on your own, I can't take this shit." Maybe some ass hole is driving down the Merrit parkway with his high beams on, and you would like nothing more than to pull the son of a bitch out of the car, and work him over. How many times has your wife screamed at you, "can you see who's calling on the phone? Not right now honey, I'm watching Bonnaza". What about all the times your friends from New York have to go into Jersey. They might have said something like, "Why can't those motherfuckers come into the city for a change". How about everytime you have to wake up at 6:am to catch the fucking bus, just to go into New York so you can listen to your boss fuss at you, and then to go and learn how to fight with words, so you can kick the shit out of somebody's wallet. The laundry list of complaints is endless.

Used to be, as kids we spent 90 percent of our time beating the shit out of each other, sometimes with a ball, and sometimes with our fists. When we weren't beating the piss out of each other we were kicking the living shit out of invisible adversaries. What about paying people, so we could learn new creative ways for beating the bloody hell out of each other. "First we will bow, and then I will dislocate your jaw."

As we get older, were pretty much left with the fucking and the fussing, yes we still fight, and obviously the world in constantly engulfed in fighting, but for the most part we try to get past that part, at least I do. At first the Fucking seems endless. "I'm sorry honey, I don't have a 6th time in me." But as schedule's get busier there is less energy and time to fuck. "Honey, I made you dinner, straightend up the house and picked you these wild flowers on the side of the road, Wanna fuck?" Still, she or he might say, "Not tonight dear, my show is on." That's when you mumble to yourself, "Fine I'll go in the other room and fuck myself".

The final reward for all this fussing, fighting and fucking is to hopefully get a couple of hours to sit in your favorite chair and watch the most creative or talented people on the planet fight, fuck and fuss. I guess the real question should be, why don't more people embrase the most versatile word on the planet?

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