Monday, October 02, 2006

Why Kentucky?

There are lots of times when I find myself asking the same question that Ms. Tuesday asked me in the comment section of the previous post, "Why Kentucky Corky"?

It's funny Ms. Tuesday, I can't quite recall how I ended up here. There are a couple different theories floating around out there that I can share with you. Maybe it could shed some light on the subject for both of us.

Theory 1 is that I'm a fish. I was actually born in North Carolina and raised in NJ and every time that I have made a major life decision I find myself inexplicably living further and further into the south. For example when I was 24 I was living in my parents basement and realized that I needed to do something, anything different with my life. Fortunately at the time my friend, the Grumbler, was looking for a room mate and we had mutual friends in Washington DC so I decided to move down there with him, and just like that I was roughly 220 miles south of where I had been for the previous 21 years or so. Plenty of stories that I have yet to tell about my wonderful years in the District of Columbia.

Now that I live in Kentucky my mother says the reason I'm here is because I'm searching for my roots. There might be some truth to that. At this point I'm probably here to spawn. That's really why I compare myself to a fish. I know I can't go any deeper south than Louisville, sorry North Carolina. I have heard people from Georgia and Alabama call Louisville the north and that scares me, a lot.

Another theory is that I'm basically this centuries Moses. One night at work I was talking to a co worker/ bible thumper about a problem I can't remember if I was talking about myself or my hatred of all forms of organized religion, but somehow he wound up comparing me to Moses. I remember thinking to myself all this guy does is relate every moment of his life to some moment or character in the bible. For anyone that knows me a little, understands that I ran with this shit in my head for a couple of minutes. I can see it... The adoption thing the exodus thing. Instead of freeing the Jews maybe I'm here to free all the meth addicts. Don't really know what I'm here for, it's all really god's plan anyway.

I actually like living here sometimes, it's cheap and it's really good for my blood pressure and panic attacks. Plus if you've never played Bingo you haven't lived yet. Yes folks, I think me and Allyson own a bingo dauber.

I hope this helps you paint a little broader picture Ms Tuesday. For the rest of the story ask me next time.


Ms. Tuesday said...

that was a very good explaination of how you ended up in DC... and why you like KY... Did I miss the part about how you got there?

Just drivin through and thought "this looks nice, Ill stop here?", family in the area you visited and decided to stay?, friends there?, college?, a girl?, a job?.

I mean I'm a big fan of the south and midwest too, but at what point in DC did you say "I think Ill go to KY."

PS- I own a bingo dauber too!

Anonymous said...

ha. she called you out.

OZ said...

Bingo scares me!

TheBirdman33 said...

the gauntlet has been thrown down!

And you are both Bingo geeks and I am not going to hang out with either of you

willSIX said...

Bingo rules. The older the crowd you play with, the better.

On a historical note, Kentucky never seceded from the Union during the Civil War, but it did send regiments to both the Union and to the Confederacy. I suppose that from the vantage point of someone from Georgia or Alabama, that DOES make you the North. Although, as far as I'm concerned, you're all a bunch of traitors.

And, yeah, Ms. Tuesday, that does seem to be a rather odd piece of the story missing, doesn't it? As I understand it, the good Captain was actually just riding his tractor, laying cornseed for his struggling family farm, when he heard The Voice...