Saturday, December 02, 2006


Preamble: In a continuous effort to improve the quality of this blog, I realized that Corky's log was in desperate need of a constitution. Why? Because all great things have a constitution like America, the Legion of Superheroes, the Boyscouts and now Corky's Log. This is not the final Preamble, or any kind of preamble at all! I'm asking that Willsix deletes this dribble as soon as he replaces it with a Preamble that puts Thomas Jefferson's to shame. That should be a fairly easy task for Willsix to accomplish sometime next week while he is at work.

Article 1 - The Contributors

Section 1 - Captain Corky:
Most of the content that you read on Corky's log comes from my brain. My brain is a real neat place. It puts most drugs and amusement parks to shame. It has been scientifically proven that you will never suffer any long term side affects to your mental health from reading Corky's thoughts, and more then likely you will never throw up from reading Corky's log either.

Section 2 - Willsix: Willsix is the eyes, ears and throat of this institution. His posts and comments are hilarious. It is also his responsibility to keep order around here. In other words he is the judge, jury and executioner of Corky's log, but I don't think he has had to put anyone out of their misery. Yet.

Section 3 - The Birdman33: The Birdman is synonymous with the name Captain Corky. Under most of my blogs you will find his name directly under mine and vice versa. In real life, The Birdman is the Eddie Haskell to my Wally Cleaver. The Birdman is generally good for two or three bird droppings under every post, and has even posted once or twice on Corky's log.

Section 4 - Ms. Tuesday: I have never met Ms. Tuesday face to face. Through our very different association with The Birdman, I have become friends with her. She is the technical advisor for this blog. Think of her this way: Every Captain Merrill Stubbing needs a Julie McCoy. The new look of this Love boat wouldn't float with out her. Yeah. Also, I'm pretty sure that Ms. Tuesday never developed a coke habit unlike Lauren Tewes.

Article 2 - Roll Call
If you read Corky's log, most likely your name or the name of your blog, depending on length, has already been added to the Roll Call. Since I don't read the paper or watch the news, it is your sole responsibility to keep me informed on everything that happens outside of my perfect little world. I thoroughly enjoy stalking, and reading your blogs on a daily basis and I hope you feel the same way about mine. It is also important to understand that I do not have a God complex, and I don't consider any of you to be my disciple's, but If I did, I think I'm doing a much better job then Jesus did. He only had 12 or 13, and I have many more links then that.

Article 3 - Secret Origins
No Marvel (or independent) comic book will ever represent the Secret Origin section of Corky's log! I understand that Marvel has done a far superior job in the Motion picture industry then DC has up to this point. Chance are DC will never pull their heads out of their asses and make a Green Lantern movie or a Legion of Superheroes television show on the CK(or whatever UPN is calling itself these days) but I'm ok with that. Nothing beats sitting on the couch reading an Aquaman comic while my wife reads... any old book. Well, I know that having sex with her is much better. I could probably come up with a few more things that I find better then reading an Aquaman comic, but you get the point. The Secret Origins section are stories that I first wrote about my life long friends when I started this blog. I could probably do a much better job of writing those stories now, but would you go and rewrite the first issue of Superman, of course you wouldn't.

Article 4 - Archives
I need to come up with a better name then archives. Perhaps reprints or reruns, haven't decided or given it that much thought. I'll work on that. There are some really shitty stories in the Archives, but more importantly there are some real gems. One night when your board, pour yourself a drink or make yourself a pot of coffee, light a candle and read the archives, maybe when it is snowing outside. Indulge yourself, you deserve it!

Article 5 - Comments
Anybody who reads my blog can leave a comment! The only comments I ever delete are the ones left by spammers and comments that I find offensive (there isn't much that I find offensive).

Article 6 - Amendments
Anyone who is linked to this blog, knows me personally or is a contributor can propose an amendment. That doesn't mean it will be added! We'll take all proposed amendments under very serious consideration. If you notice that your proposed amendment has not been added to the Constitution feel free to E-mail me for an explanation, or you can request a copy of your free credit report from Experion.


HoosierGirl5 said...

Wow, this is impressive. I am impressed. But I will never send you my credit report.
Great work.

Anonymous said...

I'm pondering...and hungover. Michigan will NOT be part of the Fiesta Bowl, so I'm happy, even on a Monday.

Anonymous said...

Nice. I'm impressed with the preamble.

willSIX said...

It's good you should take this moment to establish your more perfect Blog at this point, Skipper. More to the point, it is a fine coincidence (or for those who do not believe in chance occurrences - fated) that you should ask this of me at this time, because I am actually in the middle of reading this.

I will do my best to make you proud. However, I surely cannot do as good a job as Thomas Jefferson, because Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, and not the Preamble to the Constitution, which was likely written by James Madison.

captain corky said...

Thanks for clearing that up Will, Damn wikipeida! I should be a little more thorough in my research when writing historical documents, but it really doesn't matter anyway, because that part of the post will be deleted before the constitution is finalized.

Thanks for the comments ladies.

captain corky said...

PS. Who the fuck is James Madison? His picture was never on a three dollar bill!

Anonymous said...

This weekened I discovered a chocolate candy that contains alcohol. Sorry I don't have enough for the whole class.

PS...I think you mean Dolly Madison, the inventor of the snack food called Zingers...

TheBirdman33 said...

Looks good to me. Is there any way I can have more power in this scenerio?
Maybe you can change contributors to "featured players" or something like that?
I haven't come up with a better one than Archives yet myself

Anonymous said...

"I need to come up with a better name then archives. Perhaps reprints or reruns"

Yes...because...ummm...those are so much better. ;)


Pixie said...

My 2 cents perhaps something "spacey" for your archives..

"lost in cyber-space ?"

lame I know Hee, but at least I tried ;)

willSIX said...

I vote for Jedi Library.

Big Pissy said...

If we're voting....I vote for "Jedi library" too.

oh, and please don't fun a credit report on me.

It would be so sad.... :(

captain corky said...


Ms. Tuesday said...

the tech advisor did not get a call about that archives change... I feel my services may no longer be needed! But Im happy to be included anyway! =)

The Grumbler said...

i vote that the members of secret origins get to write Corky's own secret origin.

Kim Jong Ramone said...


The Adult in Question said...


slskenyon said...

Props to you for such a well planned out blog. Great effort and ingenuity on this one. Is a "Bill of Rights" for blog commenters next?

captain corky said...

Thanks for all the suggestions, compliments, comments and one liners everyone. Not a bad idea Grumbler.

Chucky said...

I like it!

Andfre said...

Dear Mr Corky,
I'd love some advice on how you can follow as many blogs as you do. I only read two blogs and one of them is rarely updated (the other is Wheel and it's 'cause Abbagirl rocks). What's the secret?

neroli said...

My dear Corky, you are in a league of your own!
I love it!