Another wonderful weekend is coming to an end all to shortly. It was another beautiful day outside today, but since I got my monthly quota of the outdoors last week I decided to do some much needed shopping today. First clothes and then grocery. Allyson is finishing up her Master's degree this week so she didn't come with me.
Dispatching Corky to buy shirts and pants by himself is fine because I know exactly what I want and need. Primary colored polo shirts and Docker pants for work. Sending Corky to hunt down finely shredded Orange Peel at the grocery is a completely different story, especially on a Sunday when all the assholes are out in full force. I almost had a full mental breakdown in the supermarket and had to call Allyson no less than 5 times. But even more excruciating then the hunt for orange peel, I also happen to run in to the Beast aka my neighbor.
The Beast is the meanest bitch alive, and only wears one outfit. An off the shoulder Belinda Carlisle shirt with really skimpy red shorts. I'm sure someone out there could tell me what this shirt is really called, but the beast is not hot, not skinny, and it's not 1985! The fact that the beast only has one outfit and is one of the scariest human beings I have ever seen is not my real issue with her. My real issue with her is that she has a handy cap parking sign in front of her apartment. The only problem is that she is not physically handicapped. How do I know this besides sheer speculation? Because I discovered just recently that the beast works for the company that I work for. Yes ladies and gentlemen the Beast and I live, work, and shop all in the same places.
The Beast is a union employee and I'm not. As a union employee the beast is required to lift up to 70 pounds to perform her job. That's how I know she's not handicapped. That and I watch her carry her laundry basket with one arm on her clothed shoulder sometimes. She also likes to scare the children and the elderly by ridding her bike around the parking lot sometimes. And it's not just Allyson and me who hate her. The only thing we ever talk to the other people that live here about is how much they hate the Beast too. But enough about the Beast already.
I can't believe the weekends just about over, but the good news is we're one week closer to the arrival of Corky Jr. How was your weekend?