So it's looking like the book is going to be ready for distribution just in time for the holiday season. All my hard work is finally going to pay off. There are still a few minor details that I need to work out like writing the book, finding a publisher, and all that other bullshit. But the hard part is finished, and I don't think I even have to tell you what the hard part is... I would just like to say that I appreciate everybody's patience, encouragement, and support through this entire process. It's been a surreal experience.
I intend on rewarding myself for my life's achievement with either a monogrammed smoking jacket or a bathrobe with the initials, C.C. in case you've forgotten. It's important that I wear my new coat with style, dignity and class. I don't want to look like a scumbag with the smoking jacket and I don't want to come across as a middle class schnook who orders egg noodles with ketchup instead of spaghetti with Marina sauce. I think a pipe may be the key accoutrement to my dream ensemble that separates me from all of the riffraff.
Once the book is out I'm going to be doing a lot of entertaining, some press conferences, and probably quite a few book signings and because of these things I have to look good. Could you imagine me sitting in my two bedroom apartment with all of my fellow author friends dressed like a complete and utter slob who doesn't even own a smoking jacket? That would just be pathetic.
I've trolled all over the Internet and it's now apparent that I'm going to have to get this thing custom designed. Money is not an issue for my finest garment. Nothing is too good for this P.A. man. ;)