Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Smooth like Captain Corky

So it's looking like the book is going to be ready for distribution just in time for the holiday season. All my hard work is finally going to pay off. There are still a few minor details that I need to work out like writing the book, finding a publisher, and all that other bullshit. But the hard part is finished, and I don't think I even have to tell you what the hard part is... I would just like to say that I appreciate everybody's patience, encouragement, and support through this entire process. It's been a surreal experience.

I intend on rewarding myself for my life's achievement with either a monogrammed smoking jacket or a bathrobe with the initials, C.C. in case you've forgotten. It's important that I wear my new coat with style, dignity and class. I don't want to look like a scumbag with the smoking jacket and I don't want to come across as a middle class schnook who orders egg noodles with ketchup instead of spaghetti with Marina sauce. I think a pipe may be the key accoutrement to my dream ensemble that separates me from all of the riffraff.

Once the book is out I'm going to be doing a lot of entertaining, some press conferences, and probably quite a few book signings and because of these things I have to look good. Could you imagine me sitting in my two bedroom apartment with all of my fellow author friends dressed like a complete and utter slob who doesn't even own a smoking jacket? That would just be pathetic.

I've trolled all over the Internet and it's now apparent that I'm going to have to get this thing custom designed. Money is not an issue for my finest garment. Nothing is too good for this P.A. man. ;)

31 comments:

Sunshine said...

Are you attempting the second coming of Hugh Hefner?

Biddie said...

Nothing says ass like a smoking jacket.

Biddie said...

Oops! I meant CLass. Sorry!

captain corky said...

More like Jackie Gleason. ;) I Like the new pic Sunshine!

Big Pissy said...

Ooooooohhh!!! Look at Sunshine's new photo!

*lol* at biddie's comments.

Will you get a miniature one for Corky Jr.?

captain corky said...

Biddie: Sure you did! ;)

Pissy: Don't encourage Biddie!

I'll probably get Corky Jr. a smoking jacket and give it to him as reward for staying in the lines of a coloring book. Something monumental like that. Know what I mean?

Biddie said...

I need all of the encouragement that I can get.

Cheryl said...

Hey Captain, you have a warped mind, you know? How do you come up with this stuff? I need about 10% of what you've got.

Heidi the Hick said...

Hey man, actually WRITING THE BOOK is such a monumental pain in the butt. Total hassle. Having said that, you are automatically invited to my book launch, smoking jacket or not.

(I am encouraging Biddie because that double comment was right on.)

Dan said...

Are you serious? You wrote a book? Does it have, like, pictures and shit? Wow! You're something else!

Alicia said...

Last time I bought a blogger's book they disappeared. I'd hate to lose you too, Cap'n... so I'll do you a favor and not buy it.

Jay said...

I think a smoking jacket and a pipe would definitely make you look very sophisticated. Depending on what you put in the pipe, of course.

erika said...

great picture P.A. guy! i'll get you a publisher and you write the book. time for you to have your words on paper, eh?

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I'd go for the monogrammed smoking jacket. A nice burgundy one.

Lady K said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lady K said...

"Could you imagine me sitting in my two bedroom apartment with all of my fellow author friends dressed like a complete and utter slob who doesn't even own a smoking jacket? That would just be pathetic."

Yes, I actually could picture that. Dude, I'll be there with MY smoking jacket (read: fuzzy robe), wearing jeans. Who gives a shit if they think it's a "black tie affair?" Life is all about being comfortable, not putting on heirs. You go, man.

Lady K said...

P.S. LMAO Cork Jr. should only get that smoking jacket reward if he doesn't piss in your face when you change him. hee!

Chucky said...

Just don't forget where you came from and all those little people you had to walk all over to get to where you are now =)

Question:
just what does one have on under the smoking jacket?

etain_lavena said...

Snazzy pazzy, fancy smanzy....hihihi...enjoy it, Al Capitan....keep in touch...hugz
bye bye:)

Cazzie!!! said...

I could give ya a straight jacket from work..if ya want it that is, LOL.
Wonderful news, I will buy a copy of ya book.

captain corky said...

Cheryl: 10% is going to cost you a hefty price, but I'm sure we can work something out. ;)

Heidi: Sounds like a good time. Am I allowed to get really, really drunk?

Dan: Thanks Dan. The first book is going to be about 125 pages. I'm sure there will be some pics, but not too many.

Alicia: I'll send you a copy and even sign it for you. I'm not going anywhere, I have to much invested in this blog and our friendship.

Jay: With Jr. around it will probably just be bubbles. At least until he's old enough to crawl.

Erika: Sounds like a great plan! PS what's paper?

Whimsicalnbrainpan: I agree with you. It should be a smoking jacket, made with real satin and velvet.

Lady K: It's going to be a marvelous time.

Chucky: Good Question... I've never thought about it before. Maybe under mine I carry a piece.

Etain: Take care of yourself, and have a great time!

Cazzie: I never factored a straight jacket into the equation. Now I have to choose between 3 items.

karma lennon said...

Congratulations on the book! Isn't finishing one exciting? :)

Blancodeviosa said...

you cheeze ball

Alicia said...

Okay fine, I'll buy it. BUT don't say I didn't warn you that me buying books causes people to abandon their blogs!

RockDog said...

You know who else was rich, wrote a book, and wore a smoking jacket? Howard Hughes!

He also built a ginormous plane...you should build a plane as well...

furiousBall said...

I think you should monogram everything, even the monograms

James Burnett said...

Smoking jackets rock. Sounds like you're about as far along in your book as I am, LOL. My agent has been on my ass like a hemoroid lately. No fun.

Yas said...

lmao! james! nothing sucks more than agent hemoroids... lol

so corky... what's the book about?

kat said...

I love the smoking jacket! Awesome.

You're so wacky.

Aunt Jackie said...

Hugh is going to need a replacement--who better than Captain Corky!?!? Here here!!

Aunt Jackie said...

I meant sometime, not that he's dead yet--we have to plan though lol