Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Toothpicks are the new Copenhagen
About 3 weeks ago I finished taking the Nicoderm patch. Life was great back in those days. I would wake up around 5 or 6, make myself a nice pot of coffee, and slap on the patch. 15 minuets later I was in heaven, especially during step 1 when I was getting 21 milligrams of nicotine a day. It was a very fulfilling routine and I was actually enjoying nicotine more than I had in a really long time. Plus, it was nice to receive all the accolades from friends and family about quitting. I really wish Copenhagen would have joined the party and sent me a retirement plaque or at the very least a little thank you card. Maybe the plaque would have said something like,"Captain Corky, thanks for 18 years of service 1989-2007." That would have been nice.
I spent my last day on the patch (step 3, 7 milligrams) in beautiful scenic New Jersey (while I was on vacation with Allyson) and it seemed like it was going to be a pretty smooth transition from patch to patchlessness(contrary to your personal opinion that's a real word). But then the Nor'easter hit and I was stuck in Kim Jong Ramone's house for two days... Two days with nothing to do but adopt Kim Jong Ramones's mannerisms and peculiar habits. (My freinds and I have a chameloeon like component to our relationships and it only takes about 5 minutes of spending time together before it's 1987 again). All of this, plus the fact that I was completely tobacco free for the first time in however many years. Needless to say I was going stir crazy within hours and I was also neurotically pacing. (Thank you KJR).
Around 1:00 PM I couldn't take it any more and I started to go through KJR's liquor cabinet looking for a nice bottle of Vodka. Don't ask me why but Kim Jong Ramone looked at the clock, looked at me, and started to freak out. He called my wife, who was upstairs reading at the time, to come down so they could run a quick intervention on my ass. Kim Jong Ramone and Allyson were successful and I gave KJR the bottle back at 1:05 PM. As a consolation prise for not drinking the Vodka I rewarded myself by grabbing a box of toothpicks out of KJR's kitchen cabinet. That was then and this is now.
Sometimes Allyson complains about sticking her hands with toothpicks when she's doing the laundry. I now have a mandatory box of toothpicks located at every place I sit my ass, both cars, my computer, the TV room and my desk at work. I can't go any longer then 15 minutes with out a toothpick, and I even pick in the shower sometimes. One thing I know for sure is that picking is a lot cheaper than Dipping. 89 cents for 250 picks. Not bad, pretty good. That reminds me, I still need to call my broker and dump my Copenhagen stock and replace it with some Diamond stock.