Friday, September 12, 2008

Tom Brady's Injury


I just got out of the psyche-ward this morning and as I type this tears are streaming down my face. I just can't get over the injury to Tom Brady's knee even though I've been pumped up with enough Anti-psychotics to sedate an elephant.

Brady is like a God to me. He's a guaranteed hall of fame QB, and clearly the greatest football player ever to play the game. There's no doubt in my mind that Tom is better than Rice, Taylor, and Montana all put together. The man's always dressed like a million bucks and I'm also pretty sure that he drives a really nice car.

As part of my therapy while I was in the hospital it was suggested to me to write a letter to Tom and share with him how I feel.

Dear Thomas,

I'm you're biggest fan, and what happened to you last Sunday is a tragedy of epic proportion. I would give anything to see you on the gridiron next Sunday. I'd even be willing to donate one of my knees to you. That's how much you mean to me, but I know my inferior genetics have no place in your body.

As of right now, I'm placing myself on injured reserve from society until you are 100 percent healthy and back on the football field beating feeble teams like the Jets in to submission by a score of 72 to 3. I'll still watch every New England Patriots game though, cause I know that's what you would want me to do.

In the meantime I will keep a constant vigil and pray for you no less than 50 times a day.

Your Disciple,
Corky

Please Note: I was going to leave this post as a comment over at Jay's blog this morning but it just got way too big.

25 comments:

Dana said...

But the real question is, "What else is it that you are willing to do for Tom?" You know, he should be your first priority in life!

furiousBall said...

god just didn't intend knees to bend like that unless you're a Bangkok hoker, but that usually involves shooting ping pong balls (be sure to wear goggles)

Knight said...

Ha, I was thinking of Jay's blog when I read this.
So, who are these people you are talking about?

abbagirl74 said...

So, is it not safe to admit I am a big Chiefs fan?

Bonnie Blue said...

Just gonna be nice a not comment. Glad your stay in the mental ward had a positive outcome though. :)

willSIX said...

I, too, cannot wait until he is back to 100%...so that the GIANTS CAN KICK IS %$@#$@#ING ASS UP AND DOWN THE GRIDIRON YET AGAIN.

Wait, was that forceful enough? Probably not. Let me try that again.

(ahem)...TOM BRADY GOT HIS WHINY-TITTY-ASS STOMPED, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, BY THE NEW YORK GIANTS.

Hmm...is that overkill? I think not.

TOM BRADY, INTERNATIONAL PUSSY, GOT HIS ASS BEAT BY THE GIANTS AND IS NOW TOO AFRAID TO PLAY, KNOWING THAT ANOTHER ASS-WHUPPING AWAITS HIM.

Ok, there we go. That's what I was looking for.

Jay said...

Maybe after reading this letter Tom will send you an autographed restraining order.


I think the best thing you could do now is swipe some flowers off a new grave site and send them to Tom when he has his surgery.

The Lone Beader said...

Excellent post!

leslie said...

When I first saw that picture at the top of the post, I thought,"Geez! Max looks so old in that picture."
Then I thought, "It couldn't be Max. Corky would never put all that black stuff under that sweet boys eyes like that."

Anonymous said...

Well, when I saw the picture, I thought, "Look at that dimpled chin! But he's not any where near as good looking as a very young looking John Travolta that looks like Corky."
Yes, I did. I thought all of that.

carlae said...

You are more than welcome to watch the Seahawks, but they have lots of injured personnel too. Should be an interesting season.

erika said...

nice ;)

MomThatsNuts said...

wow, I really want to know what a bangcock hoker is....

Im gonna google that stuff...
Yes the boys here are in mourning also....

mom

CRUSTYBEEF said...

you need to send this to his fan club. I think you just took over the president role! :)

Tod said...

If you really were his biggest fan you'd be roaming the country and taking his rival's kneecaps out with a big sledgehammer right now.

Just saying.

Canadian flake said...

Hey there, Thought I would stop in and say hi. I have been absent from blogger for a few months so stopped in to see how Max has been doing. Holy cowwww is he ever growing...and as cute as ever. Happened to see an old episode of Star Trek on at 7am this morning...and of course it made me think of Corky and Corky JR...hope all is well ...and hope the meds help you deal with the injury to Brady..lol

Bizarro Aunt Jackie said...

My Titans aren't doing too bad this season so far... :)

Great letter, but I agree with some of the above hehe.

I was trying to refrain from commenting about this, but am I the only one who finds that microphone "phallic" and quite suggestive??

Sorry... I know, I'm a perv.

MyUtopia said...

I feel really bad for him. That is a really painful injury too!

katie said...

god, i love Tom Brady. but for very different reasons than you, my dear Corkster. that man is hot as fire with an ass that rocks my world. :)

and ok, like, whatever to his girlfriend, Giselle. yeah, so. like okay, she's an underwear super model. but i bet she doesn't have a weiner like mine, baby!! woohooooooooooo!!!

have a great week, Corky!

eric said...

i don't understand why people hate tom brady as much as they do ... i'm apathetic ... but that's a funny satire there.

Mike Golch said...

Just wanted to say that I'm sorry for not visiting in a while.I have cut my reader down to 1/5 of what it was.

nikki said...

This just means Lions have a better chance now.

Hehe, who am I kidding........

Palm Springs Savant said...

big tom brady fan here...that was a tough one...I saw that and cringed...and spilled my beer at the same time

Crashdummie said...

I'm more interested in his reply. Whacha get, a restraining order? ;)

rubenh (thesocialreformer.com) said...

yea what happened to brady was definitely a dissapointment