Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Way to Eden

1. I just took a look at my retirement funds online and it appears that I've lost about half of what I had a few weeks ago. Shit. Looks like I'll be bagging grocerys after I retire.

"Brooks was here"

2. My birthday is coming up in about seven days or so and I was so hoping to wake up to find a slightly used Ford Escape (with a bow) sitting in the driveway. Before the collapse of the world economy my credit rating was asshole. Now it must be: Don't even think about it fucking dickhead!

3. I played bingo with some friends the other night and I didn't win. I've never won playing bingo, but the fried snacks and the white trash make up for it every time. One time I watched a woman hit both jackpots and she was crying because she finally had some money to give to her son who was going away to college. As she was thanking God I was cursing him.

4. I could go on and on, but really things are good and I'm feeling fine. For the rest of the day these words will be playing in my head:

Heading out to Eden
Yea brother
Heading out to Eden
No more trouble in my body or my mind
Gonna live like a king on whatever I find
Eat all the fruit and throw away the rind
Yea brother, yea.

Note: Originally these words were sung by a space hippie named Adam (right) on an episode of Star Trek called The Way to Eden. Sadly, Adam met his demise after biting into a poisonous piece of fruit that kind of looked like a pear with some paint slapped on the side of it.

14 comments:

furiousBall said...

yeah, if your name is Adam, don't eat any fruit.

Guilty Secret said...

How old are you going to be, Corks?

willSIX said...

God I love space hippies.

"HERBERT! HERBERT! HERBERT!"

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Happy Birthday and enjoy the beer! :)

E

Michael Knight Rambo said...

Man, I'm with you on #1!
So why do I feel compulsed to throw more money into the markets?
How does that one go again?
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"?
Oh well.
Happy Birthday in advance!

Burfica said...

I don't know if I'm lucky or not for not having a retirement fund for the bottom to drop out of. But the bit of stocks I have are basically gone. I sighed and filed the papers, if I leave it alone it might come back. hahahahahhaa

We start the retirement fund with the new job, it's with the government, so maybe it will be okay.

Biddie said...

We don't have a retirement fund. We are counting on our kids to save our asses.
Kayla says that I can live in her garage as long as I stay far away from the Mustang.

Tranquillitatis said...

"Mr. Stevens visited nearly a dozen
banks in the Portland area that
morning. All told, he blew town
with better than 370 thousand
dollars of Warden Norton's money.
Severance pay for nineteen years."

Just a Thought......

Cheryl said...

Happy early birthday. And stay away from looking at your accounts. That's what I'm doing

Jay said...

Do space hippies smell as bad as the one's hanging out at the park?

I played bingo during the wee hours of the morning in Vegas once. The cocktail waitress kept bringing me beers as soon as I would finish the one I was drinking. I don't remember if I won anything, but she was very nice.

~Just Me~ said...

I just opened all my r.r.s.p. statements and felt the same way as you, damn there's gonna be alotta seniors bagging til they die.

Happy early Birthday!!!

pilgrimchick said...

And I missed this episode--I've got to start watching these reruns when they are on TV.

dilling said...

ouch

Tink said...

Back when (as if it was that long ago) gas was $4.00+ a gallon, you could buy a three year old SUV for $3k around here. Hoop and I thought about buying up a bunch and then selling them for a profit when the gas went back down... or giving them away as door prizes in the next PB contest. If only we hadn't waited.