Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Ringer Tees

For the past 15 years or so I've loosely based my wardrobe on the one outfit that Billy Batson has been wearing for 70 years.

Billy Batson magically transforms into The World's Mightiest Mortal, Captain Marvel by simply saying the name, Shazam. My transformation into Captain Corky is even simpler than that! Most of the time I just type in my E-mail address and password and within a split second I become Captain Corky, The World's Greatest Human Being. Sometimes when I'm drunk it takes me two or three attempts.

It's also important to understand that Marvel has always been one of my favorite comic book characters. He's comparable to Superman in power and I think his cape is really neat.

Before my Batson Period (1996 - present) I was mainly wearing 100 percent cotton, medium size, black tee shirts. I mainly refer to that period of my life as the Curtis Period (1985 - 1996).

But as I started to age and consume more and more beer it was clear that I could no longer pull off the Curtis style that most women were accustomed to seeing me pull off perfectly.

Fortuantly sometime around 96 I discoverd Ringer Tees at Old Navy. At first I mainly purchased black ones cuase I guess a small part of me was still trying to cling on to days and weight gone by.

Eventually I started finding myself more and more drawn to other colors. Colors like gray, navy blue, white, and colors as bold as red! Turns out red is a very good color for me, green not so much.

Currently I must own over 20 of these shirts. Many different colors, styles, and sizes, and I still buy them to this day. Right now at Old Navy you can get a Ringer for 5 bucks. That's not bad. I should also say that they are pretty comfortable and it's easy to blend in at a ball game while wearing one.

As happy as I am with all the ones that I own, I'm still searching for that one perfect Ringer. That one true color and size that screams out Captain Corky's alter ego just like a medium black tee shirt used to during my Curtis Period. One perfect Ringer... just like the one that Billy Batson's been wearing for the past 70 years.

willSIX interlopes:

I didn't want to do this. You have forced my hand, sir.


Dana said...

I still say Kirk is getting residuals on those ringer tees and that is why you wear them!

furiousBall said...

i've been wearing my pants backwards since i saw kriss kross... and making a mess when i pee

Jay said...

I knew you had better fashion sense than me. I mostly just wear my $5 t-shirts from Wal-Mart. Old Navy is high end dude.

Maybe I should step up to Ringer T's also. That way I could be more like you.

Christie said...

You know, my costume is a black or white t-shirt, jeans, and Converse. But I switch it up with some funky socks. I'd like to call myself the Converse Kid, but I think someone already took that name.

Burfica said...

I was right with ya, till the pic of the captain riding the bullet and enjoying himself. I think I need to go scrub my eyes out now.

willSIX said...

I am truly, truly sorry. I was left with no choice. The Captain knows that he posts pictures of Shazzizzy at his own peril.

Hoosier Girl said...

I'm sorry, but I don't get why the bullet picture is bad. It's just weird.

I DO get the "ringer tee" affection. Old Navy is cool.


captain corky said...

Dana: There is definitely some truth to that. It's obvious that I base my entire personality on Kirk's and I do wear a yellow ringer with black pants from time to time... but Batson has also influenced a little over the years.

Furious: Nice! Any plans on doing a Youtube cover video? That would be sweet.

Jay: I could see you in a Ringer Tee with the viking helmet on ready to pillage and get your drink on.

Converse Kid, there's definitely room for you in my league. In my many travels over the Internet I've come across one or two other fellas that go by the name, Captain Corky but it's clear to me that they are just impostors. I think one of them owns a fishing boat or something...

Burfica: Blame willSIX for your sudden blindness. He's the one.

captain corky said...

willSIX: How dare you mock Captain Corky or The Big Red Cheese!!!

HoosierGirl: willSIX is just jealous that me and Marvel own so many Ringer Tees and he doesn't.

Old Navy is cool but some of the music they play in that store could drive a person to drink.

Biddie said...

I wear black and or purple t's. Maybe, once in awhile, you willl see me in blue, or brown.
I am so NOT one of those moms that you see at the mall with loafers and perfect hair..Sigh. I never will be.
So, is Max saying my name yet? Just asking.

Palm Springs Savant said...

$5 ringer tees? WOWZER thats one helluva deal Corky

Palm Springs Savant said...

$5 ringer tees? WOWZER thats one helluva deal Corky