Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Scepter of God

If Superman, Moses, and I formed a superhero team called the Scepter of God, I would be the weakest member and that really sucks.


Like Superman and Moses, Captain Corky was adopted from a civilization in decay. Jor-El sent Kal-El to Earth in a rocket to escape Krypton's physical destruction. Jochebed sent Moses down the river in a basket to escape Pharaoh's order calling for all male Hebrew children born to be drowned in the Nile. Unknown Birth Mother's Name left Captain Corky on an Indian reservation in North Carolina to escape neglect, and domestic abuse.

Kal-El was found and raised by a pair of modest farmers named Jonathan and Martha Clark Kent in Smallville, Kansas. Obviously, they did a hell of a job raising Clark Kent (Kal-El) and I'm a little more than disappointed that Martha never wrote a book on the subject. Dorothy Gale from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was also raised on a farm in Kansas. L. Frank Baum never identifies the name of the Kansas town in which Dorothy and Toto dwell, but I know.

Moses was selflessly rescued from the Nile by Bithiah, a daughter of a Pharaoh of Egypt. Bithiah did a good job raising Moses and that's not just my opinion but the opinion of the God of Abraham as well. Apparently Bithiah was a pretty liberal chick for a broad that lived over 2000 years ago. The name Bithiah translates to: daughter of Lord.

The name Captain Corky translates to: Most genius of all genii.

Captain Corky was salvaged from a bleak future of foster care and group homes (at the very least) and flown from Fayetteville Regional Airport to Newark Liberty International Airport by Tina and Jack of Newark, New Jersey at the age of three. Jack and Tina helped forge the foundation that would guide Captain Corky through some pretty fucking rough spots as a younger man as well as propel him forward later in life as a model citizen, prophet and parent.

Powers, Source of Powers, Abilities, and Weaknesses

Superman: Flight, super-strength, invulnerability, super-speed, x-ray vision, telescopic vision, heat vision, super-hearing and super-breath are Superman's primary powers. Superman gets his power from the sun. The Man of Steel’s invulnerability is susceptible to Magic and kryptonite. Lack of a yellow sun strips Superman of all his Powers, but not his heart and that’s what really makes Superman, Superman.

Moses: God, God, Moses has lots of skillz like, pharaoh-in-training skillz, shepherding skillz, and prophetting skillz to name few.

Captain Corky: Precognition, martial scientist, and soul vision, to name three. I personally would have picked super-strength and speed, but it does’t work like that in this business. Cherokee blood, however minute, must be the source of my precognitive and soul vision powers. It’s clear that my ability to see into the future is far from realization. It may very well play a pivotal role in the salvation of the human race so I need to find a way to enhance it. Soul vision is a power that I won’t divulge too much about, but ingestion of psilocybin has helped me clarify the uncanny ability.

Compulsive behavior seems to be the greatest manifestation of my weakness. According to an article I read by Stephanie Mojica, Compulsive behavior can be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain (doubtful) genetics (possible) environment (to a point, but not really in my case) psychological (THAT’S IT!!!) and physical disease (I hope not).


1. Obviously I'm not done with this.
2. I tried to be as biblically accurate as I could with the stuff I wrote about Moses, but keep in mind that I wrote it last night and didn't have any edditing clergy on hand to do the proof work.
3. The kid on the bike is one of my sidekicks. He has powers and skillz that we will explore together at a later date.
4. I accept Superman The Movie as a credible source of material for the Man of Steel except for the part at the end where he interferes with human histroy. That scene is complete garbage and pisses me the fuck off! Everyone hates that scene. Never met a person that likes it. Not one.


furiousBall said...

you know, any inaccuracies in the Moses section is really my fault, I had all the editing clergy over at my place for drinks last night

captain corky said...

I knew those bastards didn't go bowling!