Sunday, April 10, 2011

Home Alone on a Sunday Morning

Mrs. Peter has gone out church shopping with our sons and her friend and her son. Today they are checking out Trinity Baptist Church; personally I'm holding out for the grand opening of Neo Baptist Church, because I'm an old-school chauvinist who is still uncomfortable with the idea of women running (some) things.

It's not so much that I care to engage in prolonging the war between the sexes; it's more that I think since men came up with so much of this crap, we should be the ones to have to carry it through to the end. This goes for religion, politics and video games. I am very ill at ease over modern women's usurpation of leading roles in traditionally male endeavors; so many have sought to "outmale" men, they have succeeded in diluting and diminishing what it means for a man to be a man. This leaves the more thoughtful and considerate men flailing and grabbing for something--other than our stuff--to hold onto to help maintain our very identities.

I can hear the howls of protest from all quarters now; "Man up!" "Men have fucked things up long enough, now it's our turn!" "Why can't a man be more like a woman?" [That last one is simply standing one of the tunes from My Fair Lady on its head...] "I like men!" "I hate men!" "It's raining men!" [If you check out this link, all you need is the 30-second preview...]

There are exceptions to my rule: for instance, I am disappointed that a certain somebody
has not seen fit to have the several men bumped off who stand in the way of her assuming her rightful place as leader of this Godforsaken country. I don't care much for her or her politics, but were she to usurp the "throne," the rest of the world leaders would be on notice that the biggest ball buster of them all is running shit now! Do you think Hill would stand for these little-dick, piss-ant, punk-ass bitches trying to get over on her? I believe Hillary could single-handedly [No need to enlist this man's help...]
establish a new world order in less time than it would take to answer the question, "Why are Hill and Bill still married?"

I might try to sound as if I would not be happy in such a world, but if it served to reestablish our supremacy as a nation, if it put all pretenders back down where they belong, if it finally gave power-hungry women everywhere their chance to shut up and start fucking things up themselves, I think I could grow to like the idea.

PS: Do you think going to church might help me clean up my language a little bit?

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