All I want for Christmas is a fucking Rambo knife. I'll use it to hunt wild boar in the Jefferson Memorial Forest. I'll keep it under my pillow when I sleep and my family will be protected from intruders. I will store fish hooks, waterproof matches, and my old lottery tickets in the handle. That is all I'll need to survive in the wilderness of Kentucky.
After I kill a wild boar with my fucking Rambo knife by jumping out of a tree onto it's back, I will feast on the wild boar with my two sons and wife. Then we will make coats out of the boar's thick hide.
The fish hooks and matches are self explanatory.
After 20 years of hiding out in the Jefferson Memorial Forest my family and I will reenter society, change our names, and redeem the old lottery tickets. With the money from the lottery tickets we will buy a mansion and live happily ever after.
Since my fRk is made out of stainless steel it will be in the same shape as it was the day I purchased it. If you give me the knife for Christmas I promise to keep it razor sharp and clean the blood off of it every time I kill something or someone with it.
Merry Christmas, Santa.
Love,
Captain Corky.
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