Wednesday, July 12, 2006
The most important story ever told: Part II
You know all those rumors and suspicions you have about gas station attendants? All true! So when your kids grow up don't let them get a part time job at the local fillin station, unless it's Christian owned and operated of course. Never trust a Jew.
When Jerry acquired his second gas station he made me assistant manager of the night shift. It was a lucky break. The extra quarter an hour came in handy. No longer did I have to give Kim Jong Ramone a ride home from school for 5 bucks a week.
Jerry's first Texaco was actualy on Mt. Pleasant Ave. That place had a fully functional garage. The place on Northfield had 3 empty bays with no visible windows. I'll get back to that in a second. When Jerry purchased the Northfield joint he got it for a song and dance. There was only one stipulation, the place came with a guy named Buddy.
Buddy is the all time single greatest petrolium dispatcher of all time. He won the coveted Pumper of the decade award twice, the only man to ever do so besides Vinnie over at the Amoco. Buddy could pump some gas, no joke. Buddy had a couple of tag lines. The first question he asked us every day, "If Jews are so smart how come they all drive BMW's and Mercedes"? The second question he asked us every day, "Where's the Jewish broad with the big tits"? refering to Abby. Buddy always asked this question with a visual enhancement. Me and Platt tried to explain the first question to Buddy many times but it just never sank in. So finally we took a page out of the masters playbook(bugs) and beat him to the punch .
"Hey Buddy how come ALL Jews drive BMW's and Mercedes"? Buddy, "Hey that's my line". True. Good old Buddy!
Texaco a house of ill repute? I don't know about all that but there was always something going on inside. A party every night with the most shady and seedy of Livingstons citizens, and of course Me, Lou, Doug, Matt, Bill, Dave, Gabriel and Platt were there too. I could go on but children read this blog and so does my mother.
"Oh hello officer, gee I must have dozed off in there. Pretty boring night. Need a pack of cigarettes or anything? Ok officer see you later". Cop, "good night Eddie".