Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Most people recognize Thanksgiving as the official start of the holiday season. For me, the holiday season starts in March when I go to get my trout stamp for fishing. On the bottom of my stamp there's a little note that says, This Stamp doubles as the official start of the holiday season for Captain Corky, and it lasts until sometime in Janurary.

Due to the nature of the company that I work for, it's impossible for me to go home for what you people call the holidays. My company makes so much money from November to December that each and every employee is mandated to wear an ankle bracelet that doesn't permit us to go outside of a 10 mile radius from work. It's been 7 years since I've been home for the Holidays (this is the part of the post where you start to cry for Corky).

Here is a list of all the things I miss about Thanksgiving from years past:

1. Baking bread with my mother.
2. Driving to rest stops on the Garden State Parkway with Mike Platt, KJR, The Apologist and company.
3. John Madden and Pat Summerall calling football games (Say what you will about Madden, but Thanksgiving football has never been the same for me since he went to ABC and then NBC).
4. The lies that we told ourselves about going into the city to watch the parade. One day I will realize my life's dream and I will help hold a balloon. I have foreseen this to be true.

That's about all the reminiscing I do on Thanksgiving. Obviously, I'm grateful to be making new traditions with the love of my life. Here is my list of new traditions with Allyson:

1. Waking up and making cinnamon rolls and coffee for breakfast.
2. Watching about 10 minutes of the first football game and then cooking for Thanksgiving with Allyson before we go to my inlaws.
3. Lying to Allyson by saying that I'm going to wake up at 8:00am to watch the parade.
4. A new tradition starting at 8:00 pm on the NFL network. Watching the Chiefs beat the Broncos at Arrowhead.
5. Drinking Manischewitz wine with my father inlaw on all holidays, but I'm talking about Thanksgiving here.
6. Listening to Al (my father inlaw) apologize to the Lord for my inability to say grace.

I am extremely grateful this year. It's been one of the best years of my life.
Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!


Anonymous said...

One of my favorite traditions is watching the parade (if I'm up early enough and not too hungover). I'm lucky that I have my family here, and can't wait for the feast!

Sounds like you've had a pretty charmed year, too. Life is good. Happy Thanksgiving, cork!

Anonymous said...

Poor Al...always haveing to make things right with the big man because of your shitty grace saying ass. ;)


Kim Jong Ramone said...

There is just somthing disturbing about listening to The Waitress's "Merry Christmas" in March.

The Grumbler said...

it wasvery funny the first time i went to my fiancee's parent's house and started eating before her mom said grace. i had no warning, and it never occured to me that somebody would wait to eat until after praying--ludicrous