Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The convenient truth



I've been feeling a little depressed the past couple of days. I'm sure that part of it is because football season is over. There's still the Pro Bowl, but that game's about as satisfying as an O'doul's. Near Beer. Humbug! Another reason that I might be feeling a little blue is because I haven't been inside a convenient store in days. I kind of feel like I've lost my direction in life.

When I lived in New Jersey I was on a first name basis with the owner of 7-eleven. Whenever I would come in from work, usually around 4:30 am, John would have a fresh can of Copenhagen waiting for me. Sometimes I would also get a cup of coffee and a buttered roll (a New Jersey thing, I think). If I needed a copy of the newest Playboy or Swank I would send the Birdman in for that while I hid in the car. I could never let John know that I looked at that kind of filth. What would he think of me and why did I care?

I also did the majority of my banking and grocery shopping at 7-11. The fact that I was paying two dollars extra every time I took money out of the MAC (that's what we used to call ATMs back in the early 90's). didn't matter to me. I was making $200 bucks a week. What's two dollars here and there too a guy making that kind of scrap in 1990. My main diet consisted of pop tarts and Mac-n-Cheese also purchased at 7-11. So what if the Mac-n-Cheese had been sitting on the shelf for two years. It still tasted great when I was done cooking it.

Eventually John sold the 7-11 and I moved to DC. While I lived in DC I painted houses for a living. Every morning, Monday through Friday, at 6:30, the paint crew would meet at 7-11. And I would get a cup of coffee and a can of twip. Once a month I would ask one of the degenerates that I worked with to buy me a copy of Swank or Club. This was my routine for 4 or 5 years.

Then I moved to Kentucky in 2000. There are no 7-11's in Kentucky but there are tons of convenient stores that not only sale coffee and twip, but also sale beer and wine till three or four in the morning. Incidentally this is about the same time I started believing in God again. I no longer needed to buy porn rags at convenient stores thanks to the Internet, but whenever I looked at porn on the net I signed on to the Birdman's aol screen name before doing so. This was my routine up until a couple of months ago, and then my life became unraveled. My wife announced that she was pregnant.

All of a sudden I'm on a budget, I don't use twip, I shop at Foodtown, and I bank at a bank, and um... I don't look at porn anymore. A lot has changed in my life in a very short time. It's been great and I feel blessed but I wouldn't exactly call it convenient. I've been flooded with emotion over the past few months, and I think this is why I might be feeling a little depressed today. But I'm not too worried about it... Before you know it the draft will be here.

22 comments:

Metal Mark said...

Amen for the draft. Free agency can be interesting to.

Anonymous said...

believing in god again is gay. then again, it won dungy a superbowl.

Yasamin said...

gonna have to agree with metal mark on this one. lol after football theres.... *cries*

well... be happy you have a wifey and a mini star fleet commander on the way.

by friday, i'm gonna have an empty apartment and 2 bitchy cats who dont even like me.

god i miss football.

AuntJackie said...

You can't torture yourself over the spiritual stuff. You believe what you believe. It's deep down inside you and it will eventually come back to the surface. Don't fight who you are, embrace it. Change is imminent, and it is rough on us sometimes to let go of the past. But it made us who we are. If the people we love don't love us for that, then there's nothing, right? Take things one day at a time, and relax and let it flow. But always be YOU.... ok, end of lecture :)
Feel Better Cork! Life is short.

Lady K said...

I used to work for the corporate company behind 7-Eleven stores. It was pretty cool, and I was on a first name basis with the people at the Dept. of ATF, as I had to do all the licensing paperwork so they could SELL you that twip. LOL Those stores are FAR and few between down here these days.

Here, "Foodtown" is "Food City."

Hope that cheered you up a bit.

Jay said...

Yeah, change is going to happen weather we want it to or not. But, not all change is bad. Sometiems it takes some getting used to, but after a while it becomes more comfortable and you realize things are ok this way too.

I would never buy skin rags at the same store I did my "regular" shopping at. It's like having a double life. Kind a like Superman, but without all the cool powers.

And after the draft there is Arena Football League. It's not REAL football, but you do get to watch for the next Kurt Warner.

Heidi the Hick said...

It's all good, man. It's all good.

Take tunes with you when you grocery shop. That'll help.

Birdman's a first rate friend, eh?

Alicia said...

Cap'n!
That's the cutest post EVER! I totally remember how scared Chris was too, when I was pregnant with Cameron.
We did the whole grown up thing, and it scared the crap out of him!
You'll be fine.
Pro-Bowl sucks.
All of the friday competitions are SWEET though!

Alicia said...

Oh yeah, and buttered rolls are TOTALLY a NJ thing. I was doing my internship at the Bay Head Yacht Club, and the chef would bring in buttered rolls every morning for breakfast. I was like, here's a Certified Executive Chef bringing in a fucking roll every day for breakfast?! I totally didn't know that was popular. I hate NJ.

Michael C said...

Is, a draft will refocus everything. Look on the positive side. At some point after the baby is born, you WILL have to make a midnight run to 7-11 for diapers. See, it's not so bad.

Anonymous said...

yeah, people really only eat bread and butter in new jersey...

captain corky said...

Thanks for all the empathy and warm wishes everyone!

I think people eat bread and butter in prison too anonymous.

Life, or Something Like It said...

So you mean to tell me that you are supposed to grow up when you have kids? ACK! It's been almost 19 yrs since my 1st was born...Still don't feel like a grown up.
No 7-11's? What's up with that?

willSIX said...

Oh, Corkster, you're so cute...you remember when convenience stores were owned by white people!

The Sev was never the same after you moved away, Cap'n. I think there's a memorial shrine to you somewhere inside, tucked between the nudie mags and the 7-year-aged hot dogs.

RockDog said...

Wait...no porn? You've sworn off porn??? This may call for an intervention! You're the only other person I know who has enjoyed a Swank mag...intervention I say!

mutleythedog said...

Don't give up the porn man - Jesus loves porn, like he loves you. Do you want all those pornstars to be unemployed?

Steven Novak said...

YOu don't look at porn anymore!?!?!

WHAT!?!?!

NOthing is worth that my friend...nothing. ;)

Steve~

James Burnett said...

You sound like my best friend from back in Milwaukee. He never went to the bank, cashed everything at his neighborhood convenience store, and survived on pizza and coke (Coca-Cola, not the nose candy).

Oh, and when I first moved to Wisconsin I thought everyone was nuts 'cause they referred to the ATM as the "Tyme Machine."

I thought they were saying "Time Machine," and I was wondering if I had moved to a state where people thought they could travel to the past. Then I looked at one of the damn things one day and saw "Tyme" printed at the top. It was the manufacturer's name. I know, I'm an idiot.

Big Pissy said...

We actually have a store here in Hell named "Foodworld".

Isn't that awful?!?

Pud said...

I kind of had the same situation when I lived in Virginia. There was a Dunkin D's that I stopped at every morning and all the employees knew me.

Wow! Your life has changed a lot here lately. Are you sure you just aren't experiencing the Wintertime blues?

etain_lavena said...

Sorry you feel like that Capitan.....but you will see once the little one is there all will be very cool.
I'll email you a cup of coffee, but I dont think it will be too nice when it gets there
:)
BIRDMAN ROCKS....just so you know....:)

Reverend Sumangali Tania Pink said...

Mon Capitaine...not looking at porn would probably depress me too.

not even a peek?

:-)