Friday, February 09, 2007

Unpretty





Last night when I signed on to the Internet I almost choked to death on my Trim Spa diet pill after reading the headline... I can't believe she's gone! It's kind of sad. While she was alive she did nothing for me and I found her to be one of the top 10 most annoying and disgusting celebrities on the planet. Yet I feel sad for her today. Go figure.

A couple of questions I have for you:

1. Does she deserve or will she obtain Marilyn Monroe status?

2. Do you feel sad for her?

3. Will you have a drink for her this weekend?

4. Would you consider a person who masturbates to Anna Nicole, starting today, to have necrophiliac tendencies?

5. What were you doing when you heard the news?

6. Should Elton John write a third version of Candle In The Wind for her?

7. Are you going to watch the Pro Bowl on Saturday?

31 comments:

Life, or Something Like It said...

I feel awful for her. She had such a turbulent life, and so much sadness. Now she's left behind a 4 month old daughter that will never know her mom.
I don't think that she will ever obtain Marilyn Monroe status, nor does she deserve it. She was a train wreck, and I never saw a bit of the old Hollywood class that a real starlet has. Well, kind of. I mean Paris Hilton is kinda a starlet, and look at her....
I think that ANYONE that masturbates to Anna Nicole has problems. Before or after her death.
I was in my room, trying not to have a nother meltdown when I heard the news.
Is she deserving of a song written by Elton John? Yeah, right.
The Pro Bowl? HUH?

captain corky said...

Great answers Biddie! Thanks for the laugh!

Metal Mark said...

Let me get out my number two pencil so I can answer these.
1-No, she didn't have much talent.
2-Yes, I do.
3-I don't drink.
4-That's none of my business.
5-I was at work and saw it when I went to check CNN on my break.
6-No
7-I have not watched the Pro Bowl in like twelve years. I could go to a park and see kids play a harder hitting game than that. The season ended last week because the Pro Bowl is a joke.

RockDog said...

I feel so sorry for her daughter. Now they really need to prove who her real Dad is...how sad. Her Mother is dead and not sure who the Dad is. What a horrible way to start life.

However, I think that any trouble Anna had she brought upon herself. I do hope she has found some peace wherever she is.

She couldn't hold a candle to Marilyn Monroe...

I LOVED her until I began to watch her reality show a few years back. I was pretty shocked at the way she treated people.

No, I will not be watching the Pro Bowl...unless Prince is playing. And I mean playing in the game!

Lady K said...

LMAO you crack me up. While it IS sad she left behind that kid, call me callous, but that kid will be better off.

1. OH HELL NO.
2. I feel sad for her baby.
3. Do I NEED a reason to drink on the weekend? (Much less to HER?)
4. WHO would masturbate to that trash when she was ALIVE?
5. I was at work listing to the DJ make really bad jokes about trimspa losing 240 lbs.
6. OH HELL NO. And by the way, where IS Elton these days?
7. There's a ProBowl on Saturday? LOL

Happy Friday, Cork.

etain_lavena said...

OK my piece of cheese:
1)NO way hosay, Marilyn was way cooler..poopoo pi doo.
2)Yes, shame, married to an old geezer, death of her child...shame.
3)Maybe..I drink all the time, the trick is just too remeber her name in between all the other reason to drink.
4)Ja(translated YES):)
5) Eating Rice crispies....yum yum...reminds me I am hungry.
6)Whahahahahaah.......Ja why not?..{and she looks to me trough the dickies in the wind}...whahaha...sorry way crude......
7)No..
Have a good day Capitan!!
Over and out!

Heidi the Hick said...

1) Biddie nailed it- she didn't have the class factor. She didn't know how to be elegant and classy. She doesn't deserve or will obtain that kind of status.

HOWEVER I really do think she was beautiful under all make up and trash. She had great cheekbones and I think she was a nice counterpoint to all the scrawny unhealthy looking waifs.

2) Yeah I feel sad! All she wanted was to be liked.

3) I might have a drink. what the heck, yeah, to Anna Nicole, why not.

4) Corky, honey, that's gross.

5) I was editing some work and thinking about folding laundry.

6) Oh good god, please no. Somebody lock Sir Elton up so he can't write a song!!

7) what the heck is a Pro Bowl? I'm going to see a horse on Saturday.

The Lone Beader said...

Boston.com (Boston Globe) emailed me the headline as 'Breaking news'. That's not breaking news!! Our media is really screwed up, and that is why I don't watch TV...

Anyways, no, she will not/should not obtain Marilyn status. I feel sad for anyone who dies that young. And, sure, I'll have a drink. You buyin?? =:)

Jay said...

1. No! Marilyn was a thousand percent above her. Marily had talent. Her movies like "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" were actually entertaining. Marilyn was much more beautiful and dignified also.


2. I do feel sad for her. I don't think she ever had a single friend around her that wasn't using her for something.

3. Sure, why not?

4. Let's not go there. Besides, why would anyone spank it to her when the Victoria's Secret models are around.

5. Just got home and had turned on the TV which was on MSNBC.

6. Absolutely not.

7. Absolutely not.

Blancodeviosa said...

1: hell no. marilyn had talent
2: i am sad for her child and lawyer/husband who hung on her every word
3:no, but i will drink for me this weekend ;)
4: knock yourself out
5: masterbating to abe lincoln
6: knock yourself out elton
7: only if anna is resurrected

TheBirdman33 said...

First off I should point out that you have a trailer load of issues.

1- I don't think she should get Marilyn Monroe status because Marilyn Monroe was a real actress that did real movies. Anna Nicole did soft core porn and Naked Gun. But let's not kid ourselves they were equally fucked up chicks, Anna Nicole just benefitted from ( or suffered from) better media coverage.

2- I feel bad for the kid that has to grow up without a mom and all she will ever know of that mom is as a media joke.

3- Even if I drank, I ca't imagine that she would inspiire me to raise my glass for her. Maybe I will pour some out of my 40 for the idot that's not here.

4- I don't really know how to answer this question, I am going to think about that while I wash my hands.

5- I called a friend and she answered the phone saying "Anna Nicole dropped dead today"

6- Not only does she not deserve an Elton John song, but I don't deserve to be subjected to another version of that annoying song.

7- I don't watch that pro bowl. Sorry felk. Bring back the XFL

Heidi on Vashon said...

she deserves mm status. I feel anger for her because she put herself there. No drink for Anna. Those who Anna jack now are necros. I was working and a friend emailed.Elton should not wax for her. I lived in Hawaii so the probowl is tired. XO

willSIX said...

Ooh, ooh, my turn:

1) No, but only because Marilyn was the first blonde floozy sexpot. Everyone since then has been a pale imitator. At the time of her death, MM was considered to be a drug-addled, mediocre actress with a string of failed relationships behind her and no real prospects.

2) Yes. I felt sad for her when her son died, too. It is sad her daughter will grow up never knowing her real mother, although as some have pointed out, this may be a blessing in disguise. Her daughter is now also the sole heir to a fortune in the tens (if not hundreds) of millions, so don't shed TOO many tears.

3) No. As you will soon discover, Corky, weekend drinking becomes something of a long-lost fantasy once you start throwing little ones into the mix.

4) No comment.

5) I was riding a bus home from work, reading a blog on my Blackberry (yes, I am a gigantic nerd).

6) Why not? He hasn't had a corpse to feast on for quite some time!

7) Hahaha. Come on, dude...the Pro Bowl????. Hi-larious.

furiousBall said...

1. No and no.

2. Absolutely, I feel worse for that new baby tho.

3. Now that you mention it, sure, right after I drink to fire trucks, natural turf ballfields, and the push-up bra.

4. Only if they imagine her dead.

5. Masturbating to the thought of her dead...just kidding, I was working.

6. If he needs a new toupee, why not?

7. No all star games are the most boring games to watch. I'll watch ice hockey instead.

Sunshine said...

1 - not even.
2 - well, technically, I don't feel sad for her because she's dead, she doesn't know the difference. I do feel sorry for her baby.
3 - I don't have any drinking on my agenda, maybe next weekend.
4 - none of my business, but leaning toward "ewwww"
5 - running errands (violin lessons, dance lessons, and Boy Scouts do NOT stop for Anna Nicole, dead or not)
6 - Um, no....if there's a trifecta to be had with Marilyn and Di, I don't think Anna qualifies, as nice/dumb/attractive/taken advantage of as she might have been.
7 - no, it's Emersyn's birthday, so we will be enjoying the sugar high of frosting all day long!!

James Burnett said...

She'll never get Monroe status - not even in this day of numbnuts deciding who's famous and who's not.

I felt bad for her yesterday. It's since worn off.

Yes to drinks this weekend. No to drinks for her.

Yes, yes, yes, you sick, twisted, freak ;-)

I was driving home from Home Depot.

Elton John should have multiple versions of that song stockpiled so they'll be ready to go when other sloppy celebs buy the farm.

Maybe to the Pro Bowl.

Steven Novak said...

1. Marily Monroe doesn't even deserve Marilyn Monre status.
2. She's dead...she doesn't care if I feel sad or not.
3. Ummmm...nope.
4. If so then I am in a whole lot of trouble.
5. Getting ready to unzip my pants and masturbate to her.
6. I wish Elton would join her.
7. Ummmm...nope.

Steve~

Alicia said...

1. No.
2. Hell no.
3. Any excuse to drink is reason enough for me.
4. Ewww.
5. Uuuh, reading the news on MSNBC.
6. Yes, and re-name it "Bimbo in the Casket"
7. You know it! It's Black Sunday... the end of the season. I wear my best funeral dress, and a black veil, and cry a lot.

AuntJackie said...

My answers to your questions:

1. Does she deserve or will she obtain Marilyn Monroe status?
I dearly hope not, just not as 'classical'

2. Do you feel sad for her?
I kind of do, but just because her life seems pretty tragic. I didn't really admire her much. Guess I feel more sad for her baby.

3. Will you have a drink for her this weekend?
I dearly hope not

4. Would you consider a person who masturbates to Anna Nicole, starting today, to have necrophiliac tendencies?
It's hard to say, maybe the image is sexier in retrospect? Does this same person masterbate to Marilyn Monroe? Maybe. Maybe Not. I dunno.

5. What were you doing when you heard the news?
I was at work, my friend Tamra sent me a text message, shocked.

6. Should Elton John write a third version of Candle In The Wind for her?
Please God No! (refer to answer #1)

7. Are you going to watch the Pro Bowl on Saturday?
I dearly hope not--I mean, I doubt it nothing interesting and always anticlimatic from the Superbowl

Big Pissy said...

1. No even close

2. Sad for her baby daughter

3 No...I don't drink

4. Um.....probably

5. I was at the salon working...really sitting on my ass talking to Hair Guy...waiting for a customer....Hair Guy read it on-line aloud to me and we were both SHOCKED!

6. Not even!

7. Huh?

8. Great post! Hail, Corky!! *LOL*

Pixie said...

1.No
2. For her little girl
3.Nope
4.Perhaps.
5.Like you checking out the internet, and almost falling over in shock.
6.No Way
7.Pardon ?

Yasamin said...

okay here's yasamin's honest nitty gritty... now you know me and you im one opinionated bitch but honestly... its not my fucking place to judge the girl. so here's my answers:

1. contrary to popular belief, Marilyn Monroe didn't have class either. She was nothing but a pretty face, a soft feminine laugh, and an outstandingly sexy voice. I, being one of her biggest fans have no qualms admitting to the lack of class the girl had. She did however achieve her dreams of becoming the most wanted woman in the world. what i will say though is Anna Nichole and Marilyn had one thing in common. Naivete. Innocence and ignorance mixed into a fucking cocktail and lit on fire with sex appeal. its really really sad when you think about it. two different women with only one thing in common and they will always be tied together.

2. yes. ya know why? because years of depression and pain fucking splashed all over the media was her own fault and she had no control of her life. now, she's dead and people still talk shit about her. yes i feel sad for her... and her family. what's left of it.

3. probably. tip one ova for the blonde bombshell ghetto hoodrat girl from texas.

4. yes. wait... no. wait.. only if they masterbate to the picture of her on the gurney after she died.

5. i was sitting in the truck when nick told me and everytthing just kinda fell silent.

6. fuck no. absolutely not. god how cheesy.

7. meh. i was too busy doubled over in pain today to watch the fun stuff im not about to watch a freakin schrimage. ;p okay i might. it depends... lol

now.. i promise... i'll get happy again real soon.

captain corky said...

Fantastic stuff gang!

kat said...

1. She will obtain (but does not deserve) Marilyn status.

2. I feel sad for her baby.

3. I will have drinks this weekend in a slovenly way as I usually do. If someone toasts her, who am I to decline?

4. Yes. It's too soon to rub one out to Anna.

5. Cooking and watching the E! channel, ironically. I got a play by play.

6. Hell to the no.

7. See number 6

Dan said...

I feel sad for anyone who has lived such a tragic life. And hers was pretty tragic.

Pro Bowl? Whaddat? Oh ... more wussies in padding and helmets? :)

Yasamin said...

wait i'm in a gang now!?!? was i jumped in!? should i get anything tattoo'd on me for this? do i need to kill and/or sleep with anyone?

god im so confused!!!

Tod said...

1. I think just being a dead blonde with big jugs is gonna confer her iconic status. Thats all it takes these days in celebrity straighto world. Not like us gays with class..we've got Kylie :)

2. Sort of. More for her poor kid though. She's only 5 months and her life will be fucked up and fought over already...shame.

3. If somebody's paying, then hell yeah!

4. Jeez...what a waste of jis.

5. Either baking or wanking or both. Hee! Hee! Hee!

6. Only if he uses Alicia's suggestion and calls it, "Bimbo in the casket." That was ACE! :)

7. I have no idea what that means. Is it rude?

Reverend Sumangali Tania Pink said...

yasamin - yes you have to sleep with every one of the bloggers here in the comments

hoo hoo! yippee!

ok on to the task at hand

1. Does she deserve or will she obtain Marilyn Monroe status?

no. she looked a bit like her, and she screwed a lot of famous and rich men. but talent? not so much.

2. Do you feel sad for her?

i do. i felt angry that aol posted the most hideous photo of her on announcing her death. it was appalling. respect for the dead is maybe old fashioned but call me old fashioned.

i feel sorry for her daughter. i sense that this paternity suit is all about money. who is going to love that poor little girl? And the cycle continues...

3. Will you have a drink for her this weekend?

I don't drink. How about I have a coffee for her and answer a questionnaire about her, in her honour?

4. Would you consider a person who masturbates to Anna Nicole, starting today, to have necrophiliac tendencies?

hmmm...you got me there....

5. What were you doing when you heard the news?

I was working...about to open up my emails...

6. Should Elton John write a third version of Candle In The Wind for her?

No.

7. Are you going to watch the Pro Bowl on Saturday?

Nope. I live in London. No Pro Bowl just a bunch of soccer players who think they're playing 'football'

Pud said...

1. Does she deserve or will she obtain Marilyn Monroe status?
No. Marilyn Moroe could at least sing AND act.

2. Do you feel sad for her?
I'm sorry she's dead. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

3. Will you have a drink for her this weekend?
No. I have to save my "syrup" for special occasions because I only have so much of it.

4. Would you consider a person who masturbates to Anna Nicole, starting today, to have necrophiliac tendencies?
Most definately!

5. What were you doing when you heard the news?
Drinking coffee while I was surfing the net and saw the story.

6. Should Elton John write a third version of Candle In The Wind for her?
Hell no!

7. Are you going to watch the Pro Bowl on Saturday?
If it wasn't on so damn early in the morning...I would

Yasamin said...

reverend - and you a holy person! lol

*takes off her shoes*
alright but im not takin off my socks. lol

Heidi the Hick said...

Now I wanna know if Corky watched the grammys!