Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Bingo, Bango, Bongo, and Irving


This weekend (here in Louisville, KY) there's a Beatles festival down at the Riverfront. I've been toying around with the idea of going to it, basically taking a page out of Jay's playbook. Jay spends many weekends going to all sorts of festivals. As a matter of fact, just last week he spent an entire afternoon trying to win a Confederate flag by dunking the clansman in the dunk tank. I spend most of my weekends drooling on myself in front of the television set. So maybe, just maybe I'll venture out of the crib this weekend and see what's going on in the world.

Growing up the Beatles were not one of my influences. I was more into bands like the Mosquitoes and the Monkees. Too me the Beatles just seemed really uninspiring and unoriginal unlike Bingo, Bongo, Bango and Irving who undeniably make up the greatest rock band of all time, The Mosquitoes. Now those cats could rock! My favorite song by them is, "He's a loser" If you click on the link you can listen to it over and over, for free.

Still, even though I don't really care for the Beatles music I'm kind of hoping I can hunt down some crystal blue persuasion at this festival, if you know what I mean. Back in the 60's you could get all sorts of fun stuff at concerts that would keep a person like me entertained for hours. But with my luck all they'll have at this Beatles festival are funnel cakes, overpriced beer and rejects from the 60's who still dress in tie dye and want world peace. Fucking idiots!

The more I think about it the better off I'll be staying at home this weekend. I'm sure there's going to be at least 15 Law and Order marathons on TV. Let's see... Dirty rotten hippies, 90 degree temperatures, and terrible music, or Lenny Briscoe and a nice air conditioned apartment with a bottle of Vodka? It's a tough decision folks. I'm going to need at least two days to think about it. World peace...

29 comments:

Sunshine said...

Uhhhh, I'm feeling a little lightheaded. A Beatles festival, run, don't walk!
You know I love me some Beatles. I sort of pegged you as a "Lovely Rita Meter Maid" guy.
I'm all kinds of "Martha My Dear".
Go to the festival just for the ability to report back on what happens, because seriously, you know there's gonna be some rejects!

Blancodeviosa said...

ahahaha.. that will be enough tie dye to induce seizures!
have fun :)

karma lennon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
karma lennon said...

Sorry I think I'd have to be at the Beatles thing with my bellbottoms and tiedye. ;) Go check it out!

Lady K said...

Holy SHIT, cork, we were just talking about the Beatles at work yesterday! Sounds like a good time, that's for sure.

It's pissing me off that they've got Law & Order on TWO channels at the same time at night now. I'm convinced it's some sort of conspiracy to get me to stop watching so much TV.

Metal Mark said...

The Honey Bees were way better than the Mosquitos. Even the Mosquitos were threatened by their talent.

furiousBall said...

I'd go with the vodka and air conditioning. You know that's how I like my air, conditioned.

Big Pissy said...

C'mon, Cork! Ya gotta go! Go for me! I'm a HUGE Beatles fan...go take some pictures and report back. :)

Make sure to take the pictures before you take any crystal blue persuasion. ;-)

cathy said...

just popped over from blancideviosa's blog to say that cyberspace is full of women with "deep dark deviant minds."

Jay said...

I don't know man. That's a tough decision. I'm pretty sure I would go to the Beatls music festival. Yeah, there will be a lot of God Damn Hippies there, but there will be some hippy chicks too. Hippy chicks who believe in free love. Of course, you're married so that wouldn't do you any good. So, you might as well stay in.

You guys have beer at your festivals? That's the only thing missing from ours. We can't sell beer at them here.

RockDog said...

Maybe compromise and bring your vodka to the festival! Be sure it's in a brown paper bag...works for winos (winoes???)...homeless drunks!

Jenny! said...

That's a tough one, maybe you should stay home, too many stinky non-deodarant wearing tree huggers! I always pick vodka over people!

Biddie said...

No doubt about it..Law & Order beats a Beatles festival hands down. And I'm not just saying that because I never leave the house anymore.

Gina said...

Those damn Beatles, always trying to say they were more popular than Jesus and shit. The nerve! As if they were even more popular than the Mosquitos!

mist1 said...

If you don't go, you'll only regret it later.

I just found out that I missed a corn dog festival back in March. I am so disappointed in myself.

They had beer batter from a local microbrewery. They had jalepenos in the batter. They had it all.

captain corky said...

Sunshine: Seeing the rejects could make a trip down to the waterfront worth it.

Blancodeviosa: I'll make sure to take my medicine before I go and maybe I'll bring a cane just in case I have to beat down some hippies.

Comment deleted: It's okay! Whatever you have to say, you can say it here!

Karma: I think I'll leave my bell bottoms packed for the Grand Funk Railroad festival that's coming next week. ;)

captain corky said...

Lady K: You need Tivo so you can tape two Law and Order episodes at once. It's a basic necessity at this point.

Mark: The Honey Bees were hot. Especially that Mary Ann!

Furiousball: I've been going with the Vodka for the past 15 years, a change might do me some good. Maybe some Tequila instead.

Pissy: Great advise about the pictures. I'll make sure to take them when I first get there and then put my camera in safe hiding location where the dirty fucking hippies can't get their filthy hands on it. Then I'll take my crystal blue persuasion.

Cathy: Welcome to the log. There's hope for humanity yet. ;)

captain corky said...

Jay: Yeah they do sale beer at these festivals and mint juleps too. You can pretty much find mint juleps available for anything that takes place in KY.


Rockdog: If I compromise my position the next thing you know I'll be standing in front of airports wearing tie dye asking people to donate change for world peace. It aint going to happen!

Jenny: Me too. Vodka is much more comforting than people are.

Biddie: I agree with you about the Law and Order part, but I am curious about this thing people call fresh air...

Gina: This country would still be great if it weren't for rock-n-roll hooligans like the Beatles.

Mist1: I would hate to wake up one day all old and shit, and crying about the fact that I didn't go to the Beatles festival when I was younger. You have a very valid point.

Reverend Sumangali Tania Pink said...

Hey Corky...get off your captains chair and haul your ass to the Beatles festival...once Junior arrives, there will be no festivals for at least 12 years!

:-o

Go have a beerjulip and some funnel cakes and blue meanie stuff for me too!
xx
pinks

Alicia said...

get out of the house and do something fun!
Trust me...
Once Corky Jr is born you and Allyson will be prisoners of your apartment for MANY months...
Get out and enjoy freedom while you can!

eric said...

festivals are only good if there's some kind of interesting food, because unless it's a big one, the music's not going to be stellar. everything else is just staring at shit.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I dunno, watching rejects from the 60's could be kinda fun.

captain corky said...

Pinks: I will definitely have a beer julip for you this weekend!

Alicia: Pirates is definitely on the agenda for this weekend, but that's almost like watching TV isn't it?

Eric: Trust me Eric, Kentucky is not synonymous with interesting food. Unless you consider chain restaurants and funnel cakes interesting.

Whim: Yeah, but I think I would rather watch them on VH1 when they show footage of the counter culture at Woodstock. That way I don't have to smell them. ;)

The Lone Beader said...

COOL!!! And, no, I didn't post about the Beatles because you did... Great minds must think alike.

Lata...

Malnurtured Snay said...

The only thing that could possibly top dunking a clansman into a tank is getting him to play "bobbing for apples" with floating hand-grenades.

Blancodeviosa said...

oh yeah, i forgot to tell you about the blanco deviosa thing.
ok, once i was looked up in the nut house for various "me" related reasons, and there was this hack- face doctor that told me all my problems could disappear if i "imagined them into my hand and pushed them away". as if i conjured them to begin with. after a week of this i jumped up in the chair and told him where to shove it and the 250.. bucks he was charging me for each visit in his stupid little ass and see if he could imagine me kicking his ass with my imaginary foot...
aparently this was heard by all the mexican drug rehabbies who started changing "go blanco deviosa, blanco deviosa go" every where i went after that. i guess it was a compliment. i dunno?

Aunt Jackie said...

LOL!!! Ok, I'd gotten myself depressed by finishing up my story, but this gave me a needed laugh!!!

ROFL--these are some crazy looking cats!

captain corky said...

Beader: Yes they do. It aint easy being a genius! Know what I mean?

Malnurtured Snay: I would like to watch that someday, safely from a distance of course.

Blancodeviosa: Very nice! Were you nominated leader of the gang? ;)

I have some pretty bizarre stories about rehab myself that I'll share sometime.

Jackie: I'm glad this post made you feel better. :)

kat said...

You should do the festival. After the baby comes you guys will be too tired for such things for a while. My vote is for Vodka, mediocre music, and the chance for blue persuasion.

Make it happen!