Monday, July 16, 2007

X-Factor: Chapter 2



The Nurses in this hospital are amazing! If it weren't for them I would have lost my mind in this joint somewhere back on day 2. Today is day 11 for those of you who are keeping score at home. The last time I spent this much time in a hospital I was in detox, but that was in 1991. Still, I think I'm becoming institutionalized. A big night out on the town is a trip down to gift shop on the 1st floor. A lot of the nurses here are pretty decent looking and I've even fallen in love with one or two of them. I think they call that the Florence Nightingale affect or some shit.

After the C-Section Allyson and I went into a recovery room for roughly 45 minutes. Basically the nurses poked and prodded Allyson the entire time and kept on asking her to rate her pain on a scale from 1 to 10. A question that we would here for next 5 days every couple of hours or so. Then she would receive her percocet. I tried to get some for myself, but no one would take me seriously. Imagine that...

My memories of the rest of that day are kind of cloudy, and it was only 9 days ago. Max was moved into the Special Care Nursery immediately. Besides having a fever his respiration was extremely high. He was breathing 80 to 100 breaths per minute and it should be somewhere around 40 or 50. He got hooked up to a monitor, and it was scary to see him like that. Especially since I had no idea what was going on. All I knew was that my son, who was only a couple hours old, was struggling to breathe...

The Special Care Nursery is a pretty desperate place. You can feel and see how scared all the new parents who have just been ushered in are, and you just want to reach out and comfort them and or cry with them all. At this point at day 11 I'm pretty much a lifer around the Mommy/Baby ward and the Special Care Nursery, but on day 2 I didn't know diddly squat (remember that old corny expression?).

The next day (the baby's second day and our third day, also a Saturday) the doctor on duty, who we'll call Doctor Devil, decided that Max would need a spinal tap. Later that day she called us with the results of the test. She said that his white blood cell count was too high and it looked like he either had bacterial Meningitis or Herpes. Then she told my hysterical wife on the phone that Herpes can be devastating to a baby born with them. Dr Devil than told us that we wouldn't know the result of the spinal tap for at least 48 hours because it was the weekend. Needless to say, I wanted to rip the bitches head off and shit down her throat. Probably just a defense mechanism though. It's probably a good thing that I was so angry because Allyson was so upset. We needed some kind of balance.

To be continued...




58 comments:

mjd said...

I hope that Allyson's pain is down to minus one by now or at to least zero. I know what you mean about reaching out, comforting. I say with tears in my eyes. Hating Dr. Devil...loving our little Max. Take care.

captain corky said...

Thanks MJD. Allyson says that her pain is about a 2 right now. I promise the story gets a lot more cheerful soon. ;)

We'll all be home on Friday or Saturday morning. But I hope to check in with everyone tomorrow when I come home to feed the cats, and take a shower. etc.

The Lone Beader said...

Max looks scared of Dr. Evil... :0

eric313 said...

Wow, I would be pissed too. She might be totally full of it. She very well could have been looking at the wrong chart. I hope that's the case.

There's a great short story about evil doctors called "Dr. Nazi", by Charles Bukowski. It's screwed up and hilarious. It's right up your alley, especially right now!

Good luck with everything.

HoosierGirl5 said...

Oh I hate doctors like that. They just don't think. Are they crazy?
I'm so glad you all get to come home soon, and Max is doing better.

If there is anything I can do, you know I'm pretty close....

J.

Jay said...

There's always a Dr. Devil around on weekends. These people should all be lined up and shot. She's probably related to the Dr. Devil that told my dad he was incurable early on a Saturday morning when nobody else was around. He wasn't even dad's doctor. I'm still plotting my revenge on that doc, even though he's currently in jail.

Anyway, hang in there dude. And see if you can get some of that percocet.

Pink said...

Oh Dear!

I'm glad Max and Allyson are feeling better, but I think Doctor Devil needs a spinal tap of her own!

I have a ball peen hammer if someone has a garden hose?
xx
pinks

Metal Mark said...

My second child had to spend time in the special care nusery. They were initially running tests on his heart, but everything turned out okay. It was just something that at first looked a little abnormal due to him being born a month early. I hope everything is going for your family.

Tink said...

OMG! Why do people with no people-skills always end up as doctors or teachers? I'm so sorry about the baby and the extended hospital stay. I hope everything turns out OK!

Jenny! said...

What a bitch...give me her real name and i will take care of it! Nurses in PICU are the most amazing people ot be able to do that everyday and still be gentle, kind an loving. Give the wife and Max a kiss from me! Tell Allyson that she will find the most amazing strength from within to get through that first EXTREMELY hormonal week! I couldn't imagine how that must be for her, that first week was the worst as far as hormones, and then dealing with asshole doctors and little dude being sick! Hugs for all!

Biddie said...

I don't know what to say. I just want to hear the rest of the story..Poor little Max.
I hope that Allyson is feeling MUCH better now.

Tod said...

Eeeek! Reading this made me take the safety off my imaginary flamethrower. I will track down Dr Devil and crisp her shit packed neck.

jAMiE said...

Hi Captain... sorry that evil doctor left you hanging...i hope everything is fine. I'm looking forward to the continuation of the story.

Take care of yourself and your lovely wife and child.

Nancy said...

I think Dr.'s and nurses have to desensitize themselves just to get through the day to day difficulties of their job. BUT ... there needs no be a check point where they turn on a human touch and choose their words carefully. Dr. Evil forgot to flip that switch.

If you are coming home this weekend, I am hoping the next post will be everyone is ok and things are under control.

What a BEAUTIFUL little boy you have there.

Jerrster said...

Corky my pal...the "diddly squat" is more than just a corny expression...it's part of the "Dance Cycle" I'm developing for when "Max and Company" finally get to all go home.

best of luck every which way.

nikki said...

Well, part two was sure a cliff hanger. I can't imagine how it felt to be LIVING it. Dumb doctors.

TheBirdman33 said...

You have to have the evil side be a little dominant or part 3 wouldn't be so wonderful when the good guys win!

I've seen this story before, I can't wait to see Allyson in her gold bikini when you go rescue her from Dr. Devil, Luke Corkwalker.

TheBirdman33 said...

You forgot to tell them that the nurses version of the 1 to 10 scale had a pain level of 7 being, so painful that you can't stand up, lieing on the floor in pain.
What the hell would 10 be in that case?!?!?!

Blancodeviosa said...

oh hell, that's rough

Aunt Jackie said...

This "To be continued" stuff must be "discontinued" :) We need to know how things turn out, more updates and fast!

Why do you get so many comments and people just neglect me :( I'm sweet too!!

Terri said...

Aunt jackie - you must have a baby or be a tv, movie or superhero nut to be as popular as Corky! I'll stop by and visit you tho.

Corky, my 2nd spent 12 days in the hospital and it was some of the worse days of my life. I think back then (12 yrs ago) his 12 days of care was $45K that insurance covered (thank goodness) and that didn't include the birth. It will be sooooo nice to have him home. I wish you guys the best and hurry up with these stories. I'm going on vacation Sat for goodness sake!

Robocop said...

Corky: I hope this situation works out for you.

furiousBall said...

Jeebus! Poor Max and Allyson. Max sure is a good lookin' little fella. Short too.

gawilli said...

One thing is for sure...Max ought to be good for 100,000 miles after this oil check. Your comment about impending cheerfulness is very encouraging. All of us in blogdom are rooting for a healthy homecoming real soon.

Gina said...

Such a tough time has been had by all of you, you poor things!

A parent's worst nightmare is that something is wrong with their precious newborn and I am so sorry you have all had to go through this.

But, rom your comment, it seems that everything is back on track and Max will be home where he belongs very soon. Oh, uh, and you guys too, of course. ;)

Ashley said...

That story is awful. There are a lot of doctors lacking in bedside (or phone) manners for sure. It seems like things are going better around there, but don't leave us in suspense for long.

Canadian flake said...

I had an extended hospital stay when my son was born. Thank GOD it was me that was ill instead of him. It was hard to be sick, but I wouldn't have wanted any of it to have been him....hang in there Corky . Give the wife and Max kisses from me.

kat said...

Ugh. They shouldn't say it could be this or that with such a tiny little baby until they know for SURE. Why worry everyone unneccesarily? Why worry a new mother and father like that?

What the hell????????

Queen of Dysfunction said...

What a bitch, I don't blame you for wanting to beat someone.

I have to say though, your baby is simply beautiful. He really is adorable. Hope y'all get to go home soon.

TheBirdman33 said...

I just want to point out for anyone that is unfamiliar with my cupboard or this log that I am not the asshole that my comments may suggest.
We have been best friends in real life for almost 30 years, so when Chapter 1 and 2 of Max's story were happening, I was getting hourly updates and my feelings were expressed then. So I can't come here and be the 33rd person to say how sorry I am to hear how rough its been....but if I don't comment at all, I will be excommunicated from the family lol

So I make jokes. =)

If you've read this far, you should definately stop by the cupboard, we have fun.

Cazzie!!! said...

So WRONG of her to upset the lovely Allyson...a new mum at that!! What about her letting things settle and tdell you things on a need to know basis..like when the histplogy has actually come back??? SHeesh..

Huggs to you all and I bless little Max.

karma lennon said...

I can't believe that evil doctor did that! I hate hospitals. Hope everybody's feeling better with no pain now.

her indoors said...

what a bitch she is! hope things are improving for you all

RockDog said...

My daugher was in the PICU last summer and I think it is required that the Nurses are true angels and the doctors are the guardian demons. ;)

Hope all is well, man. Can't wait for this story to take a turn for the good!!!

Lady K said...

Hope everyone is doing well now. That baby...I could just squish him! (But I won't.) Take care of you's guys!!!

I'm super afraid of the hospital now...can I get that morphine drip early?

Lady K said...

P.S. And that Dr. Devil ho really needs to get it together. To tell a brand new parent stuff like that OVER THE PHONE is just unacceptable.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

a-that rating pain 1-10 drives me nuts. They'd bombard me with that for days and each time I'd feel guilty saying anything more than 5..I'm a strongwilled woman and heaven forbid I show weakness..but that's the point of that damn point system..my insides hurt,my boobs now getting ready for milk, seethed heat and pain unimaginable. The cathater gone, I had to deal with that nasty dull ache after going to the bathroom...I hurt like hell..they're nurses, just rehook me up to the pain pump and leave me alone. 1-10 I'll show you a 10 jackass..leave me alone and let me be to spend time with my baby and hubby.

2-doctors like that deserve to lose their license. the overdramatic crap that isn't something that any one should experience-let alone a new mommy with her hormones already doing crazy things to her within.

c-I know that nicu..and you are very right-the pain, the concern, the fear and the love expressed silently by the parents all in one.
I give you many kudo's for being so strong for your wife and son..

Always,
Crusty~

Heather said...

Asshole doctors. I hope you gave Dr. Evil what for. I hope Allyson is doing alot better. Max is just adorable.

Pink said...

that birdman is a heartless piece of poultry

;)

xx
pinks

Ms. Tuesday said...

how on earth can you leave this with a be continued??? I hoipe everything is ok... I need to know like now! Im calling Birdy...

CS said...

Here via Whim's blog and I went back and started with the about to have the baby post and read up to get current. It sounds like a grueling experience that has had a blessedly happy ending (hinted at in the previous post, but I'll check back to hear the rest). I had an unexpected C-section with my 2nd, and have also spent some time in PICU after my son's brain surgery, so although I haven't been through preceisely the same thing, I have a sense of what the experience is like. You walk in a different world once you bring a child into it. Best of luck to you.

Alicia said...

I love looking at pictures of Max!
I feel like I know him because of how awesome you've been throughout the whole pregnancy with updates and whatnot.

:)
A few more days and you'll be home!!!

captain corky said...

Beader: He is very scared of her.

Eric313: The thought did cross my mind that she might have looked at the wrong chart.

Hooseirgirl5: Thank you for asking! I think we're pretty good. :)

Jay: Devil is really the first 5 letters of her last name. Luckily we've only had to deal with her once. Still no luck with the percocet. Rats. ;)

Pink: I agree. She needs something...

captain corky said...

Metal Mark: The Special Care Nursery is an important place and I recognize that, but on day two it's hard to understand that.

Tink: Things are looking good. We should be home on Friday!

Jenny: I'd love to give you her name. You and your girls could ambush her in a dark ally and take care of business for me. ;)

Biddie: Allyson is doing much better and so is Max. I hope to write and post the third chapter soon.

Tod: Nice! Fry the bitch.

captain corky said...

Jamie: Thanks. Everyone is doing good. Only 3 more days and we should be home.

Nancy: We should be home by Friday afternoon. I can't wait!

Jerrster: Thanks man. Looking forward to it.

Nikki: It was a rough couple of days, but all is good now.

Birdman: It's my goal to make a universal scale from 1 to 10 pain list.

captain corky said...

Blancodeviosa: It really was.

Aunt Jackie: Everybody love you. ;)

Terri: It's hard to get to a computer, but I should have the next story out sometime tomorrow.

Robocop: Thanks for stopping by man.

Furiousball. Thanks man. Only 20 and half inches.

captain corky said...

Gawilli: Thanks. You guys have been great!

Gina: Thanks for your kind words. Things are much better now. I've got to get back to being my regular obnoxious self soon. ;)

Ashley: Hopefully I'll have the third part out tomorrow.

Canadian Flake: Things are much better Flake. I will kiss both of them for you. ;)

Kat: I think Dr Devil has some really serious fucking issues.

captain corky said...

Queen of Dysfunction: Thank you very much for the kind compliments about Max. Me and Allyson are truly amazed by how beautiful he is.

Birdman: You're an asshole.

Just kidding pal.

Cazzie: Luckily all those cultures came back negative (my new favorite word).

Karma: Hospitals suck ass. I want out!!!

Her Indoors: She is a bitch. Everyone else has been great though.

captain corky said...

Rockdog: That's scary stuff Rockdog. I probably couldn't begin to understand what you went through before we had Max, but now I do.

Lady K: The bastards haven't given me any morphine either. No fair!!!

Crustybeef: We should work on a universal list for, "Scale from 1 to 10 pain lists" for hospitals. I think it would help a lot!

Heather: Thanks. Max is doing really good!

Pink: LOL! True.

Tuesday: I hope I can post the next chapter tomorrow. ;)

CS: Thanks for stopping by. I would like to hear your story sometime.

Alicia: He's really cute. I can't believe it.

Cheryl said...

What an ordeal. I know this will have a happy ending, though.

madame x said...

Hey Corky.... I hope things are going well for you and Allyson and Max.... Just wanted you to know my grandson went thru the same newborn scary stuff six years ago... The NICU nurses were great,
the physician...not.so.much....
my son wrote a letter to the Dr. after discharge cc'd to the hospital admin and the board of medical quality..

just sayin'

Lady K said...

cork ~ *sigh* as much as I hate to admit it, they really should give the birdman the morphine first. LOL You guys crack me up, and MUCH love to ALL of you. My thoughts and prayers are up there with y'all. MEAN IT. ~TK~

Heart Of Darkness said...

Growing into the role of fatherhood? :)

ryc: you'd be on the top three, but I didn't have a photo to post... sorry... :(

Fridaysweb said...

I'll lend ya some Valium. You take a few to calm down, then put a bunch in Dr. Bitch's drink then report her for acting strange. When they drug-test her...well, you get the idea ;)

Looking forward to more and sending good vibes your way. Hope Ms. Allyson is feeling well, now.

eric313 said...

another day closer to the great day of home coming. Singleton let me borrow a painting of one of her girls, and I wrote a poem all over it! Very nice. Good luck, man.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

I'm hoping today brings Allyson a pain scale 1-and if not, look at it this way, more drugs for you both. :)
Keep that kryptonite of a bitch doc away from your son!
Always,
Crusty~

Crashdummie said...

baby pics!!!!

David said...

I hate it when cowards deliver bad news over the phone. I am sorry I've been away a while. I am trying to get caught up. The suspense is killing me. I hope it has all turned out fine.