Saturday, October 13, 2007

Is Rum Fergalicious?

I guess the most important thing that I learned from my last post is that you guys really, really like Captain Morgan Rum.

I don't get it... I've been drinking for at least 21 years and I still don't understand Rum... When I lived in Washington DC I was drunk for almost 4 years and I drank everything from Dewar's Scotch to Carlo Rossi, but rum never did anything for me. Maybe Rum is a Rock-n-Roller drink. I've noticed that people who are big concert goers, and really like music like Rum. I'm listening to Fergie right now and I don't think Rum drinkers really like Fergie. I can tell you one thing though, the smell of Rum does not linger on my skin.

When I first moved to the Nation's Capital a lot of the time I would be so strapped for cash that on football Sundays all I had enough money for was to ride on the Metro, and buy a 4.99 jug of wine, but don't feel sad for me. I made it work. ;)

After about a year I got a job painting houses and I could finally afford to drink the good stuff every night of the week. This is what I learned:

Vodka is number 1: I can drink it when I'm happy, sad, or angry. It's my booze of choice. I usually stick with Smirnoff. Some Vodka snobs treat Smirnoff like it's rail vodka, but it's not. It's middle of the road and it's okay. I usually don't dip below Smirnoff, and very rarely do I get sick from drinking Smirnoff. When I'm drinking with hi-brow people maybe I'll drink Kettle One, or Sky. I guess I like Belvedere the best out of the boorish snob Vodkas.

Beer is number 2: I don't know if anything beats a three beer Budweiser buzz. Obviously I could talk about drugs in this spot (sports radio lingo) but children read this blog. A good beer buzz after doing physical work all day really hits the spot. The same could be said about a 3 beer buzz on an empty stomach. Also, there's something to be said about the aspects of the physical buzz. You can't really get that from drugs and every once in a while it's nice to love everybody. Acid and pot can be so heady!

Number 3 is Whiskey: Whiskey and Scotch are for when you're having an intimate time with close friends, or your sick. Probably it's not a good idea to sleep with someone while you're sobering up form scotch or whiskey. Please note: If you've had too much to drink don't panic if you throw up. Barf, breathe, and continue where you left off. I only recommend this advise for seasoned veterans like me myself and my liver.
An Irish Coffee works wonders for a cold. I should know, that's what I used to drink at the local bar when I was feeling under the weather.
Wine: I haven't practiced enough to really talk wine, but I enjoy a good red wine and I loved the movie Sideways.

Another good thing about wine is that you can pretend you're not a drunkard when you drink it. I drank a lot of wine tonight, but I think it's okay because I've been working really hard lately and I deserve it. I don't have a drinking problem and it's not inappropriate for a 37 year old man to have the same kind of lust and zeal for liquor that a 17 year old kid has. Plus, you're learning what took me 21 fucking years and way too much cash to learn. If I ever stop drinking I'm going to miss it like a child misses it's blanket (Inspired sentence by Fergie, "Big Girls Don't Cry").

Tequila:
Crazy. Fun. Crazy.

Please explain what I'm missing with Rum.











75 comments:

Guilty Secret said...

I don't get rum either.

You didn't mention gin...?

Normally I go for vodka for more of a high drunk and gin for more of a low drunk, if you know what I mean.

Or wine. You can't beat wine sometimes.

Guilty Secret said...

P.S. Yay, I was first!

her indoors said...

oh no vodka, used to love it but got very very 'ill' with it once so i stay away from it.
love bud got some in the fridge at all times
gin makes me aggressive would fight the world if i drunk gin!
dark rum no but bacardi yes mmmm
but i love wine, its cheap and cheerful just like me LOL

captain corky said...

Guilty Secret: I haven't really had a lot of experience with Gin either. I almost feel like it's another generation's drink.

Her Indoors: When I was in my teens I got so sick on Vodka I thought I was going to die, but with a little bit of love and patience I was able to drink vodka again.

I think I'm going to have to learn Gin. I'm intrigued.

Casdok said...

No i dont do rum either!
I stick to wine!

Cazzie!!! said...

I love Fergie :)

gawilli said...

I got so sick drinking whiskey in high school that I still cannot stand the smell of if. And that was a long time ago. I do like a good brewski, though.

HAR said...
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HAR said...

I drank rum once when I stole it from my parents liquor cabinet and filled it back up with water. How original.

I have been drinking red wine lately but when I go out I love a good Margarita.

Vodka is good in the morning at a brunch or worse yet another dreaded baby or wedding "shower".

Gin , I just don't like it.

When I did shots, I always did shots of JD.

abbagirl74 said...

I don't know, but I love your taste in movies and music. I love Fergie and I love the movie Sideways. Great picks!

Jay said...

The only time I've ever been a rum drinker was in college and we would all drink Bacardi 151. Sometimes people would mix it with Gatorade, but I usually just drank it straight. When there was none of that around I would drink tequila.

I don't drink rum now though. I stick to Jack or Jim Beam or good bourbon or even some Scotch. And beer. And wine. I love wine. A wine drunk is a really good feeling drunk.

Brandy isn't bad. Some people like to "sip" brandy in the evenings. I'm not that sophisticated though. ;-)

Nancy said...

Nope, not into rum either.

For me its Grey Goose martinis or Merlot wine.

I only got sick drunk once in my life, about 15 years ago ... work Christmas party, I was out with 10 guys (I work with all men, all like bros to me, still work with same guys) and I didn't want to drink. I ordered ice tea ... they smirked and said bring her a long island ice tea ... I was clueless at first, by the time I finished my 3rd ... it didn't matter that I had a 4th and 5th ... that's all I remember, but they said I had fun =) All in about 3 hours! It's a wonder I didn't die!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

ewww, rum! It's only good if it's blended with pinapple orange juice..otherwise, yuck! I agree..the three beer BUD buzz rocks. It's 935am..too early for my beer? I guess I'll poor myself a glass of wine and call it "KEDEM white grape juice. :)
Always,
Crusty~
that song is bigdogg's favorite! LMFAO!

Guilty Secret said...

I got into gin when I fancied a break from vodka. Yes, seriously, that did happen.

I like to drink it with tonic and fresh lime. And about it being another generation's drink, that's half of the appeal. No-one expects a twenty-three year old young lady to order a G&T... and I like to go against the grain.

Gina said...

Listen, the good thing about rum is that is is virtually tasteless when mixed. So, for wimps like myself, it is perfect.

dilling said...

explain to me why you're quoting Fergie...

I like Rum in a Coca Cola Slurpee on a hot day...how trashy is that?

erika said...

The Captain was my high school drink - one night i had 14 shots of it (my shot glass was larger than everyone else's), threw up, and at the end of the night told my friend "next time, i want a normal shot glass"-- not, of course, i'm never drinking again - that would have been such a lie.
But to be honest - the captain is number 2. Number one is my friend Mark (Maker's that is). And I must say that I am quite sad that the ky bourbon has been neglected i your list. we need to get you started on the dark liquors :)
Well i think this is the longest response i've ever had - obviously it's a subject that touches me deeply:)
ps- i showed the pic of max in his sweatsuit to my sister and she about fell off the couch cause of the cuteness.

Pink said...

Coke.

Thats what you're missing with Rum.

Geez. If all questions were only this simple.
xx
pinks

The Lone Beader said...

Budweiser is poison. Drink Guinness or Sam Adams. =:)

Palm Springs Savant said...

Corky- good post. I agree on the rum. I've become more of a wine drinker now, and for cocktails Gin is still my drink of choice...or martinis, of course!

fiwa said...

Everyone I know who drinks rum drinks it because they're big on coke or diet coke, so they can have their favorite drink with some alcohol mixed in. Plus it doesn't have much taste - just sweet.

Here's my formula:
wine - everyday
vodka - out on the town
tequllia - let's face it, tequilla is for gettin' trashed

RockDog said...

Here's why I like Rum...pay attention...

Rum tastes like crap...but it's a Caribbean thing and there's nothing finer than hot Caribbean women drunk on rum to make your day.

Plus, Capt. Morgan will kick your ass.

I'm here to help... :)

HoosierGirl5 said...

I don't know what to say to this one. I'm a featherweight when it comes to drinking. If I'm going to spend that many calories, I'm going to have something chocolate. But I do like drinks mixed with rum, as long as they're very sweet.

J.

BottleBlonde said...

Thank you for that dissertation on liquor, Dr. Cork.

I'm a fan of rum, though I rarely drink. I like the way it makes me rub my nips and sexually harass construction workers.

Big Pissy said...

Being a total and complete non-drinker...I can't help you out, Cork.

I did, however, enjoy this post immensely.

Thank you. :)

Cummal Bane said...
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Cummal Bane said...

Forget Bud - you should try a few of our beers - get yourself away on them. And by the way, whiskey and scotch are NOT the same thing: scotch is Scottish and whiskey is Irish - from Scotland it is whisky.

Just back from a night on the ale - that is what you need to drink!

jAMiE said...

Oh...i guess i am in the minority here...cuz i rarely drink. When i do, i love white russians...and i cant remember what is in them...whatever it is, love it. = )

eric1313 said...

I don't know. I like a good Rum and Coke, but I'd rather drink a Long Island, to tell you the truth.

Vodka is a perenial favorite. I bought my folks a giant bottle of Belvedere Chopin for their last anniversary. It's an actual old fashion potato vodka. All the other brands are made with grain, nowadays. But let me tell you, I had a shot of it, and it was saddly not worth the fifty dollar price tag. No way.

I like shots of Smirnoff raspberry or watermellon flavor vodka chased down with orange Mountain Dew. No other orange drink works with it. But MD is just right. It's like candy, all together, one aftere another. By the time you stand up again you better have something to hold on to!

qofd said...

It always gives me a bit of home-town pride when I see a post with ol' Carolo Rossi involved. Almost as good as seeing night train. Or something in a box. (sniff)

Give me a moment, will you?

etain_lavena said...

Hey Al Capitan

My first choice is also Smirnoff,
When I was back in SA My best friend and I got slosshed on Al Capitan RUM every friday....why, we dont know, we did not even like it. But there was a bottle in the house we needed a drink and from that friday on we specially got Rum for fridays.FUN

Wine makes me drunk to fast and make me throw up....eeeewwwww....
Beer, love it, but it makes me fat really fast...and seeing I am chubby I steer clear....hihihihih
Ok my piece of cheese...
HUGZ

Cheryl said...

What an education. Thanks to you I'll know what to drink and when. I'm one of those people who always feel sick with more than one drink. Boo hoo.

Tod said...

My drinking rules are simple:

Indoors it's gin or wine. Outdoors it's Pimms or Margueritas.

Debs said...

I like rum and coke. Vodka rocks!

I don't do beer. I am not much of a drinker anyway.

Canadian flake said...

When I was younger I would have agreed with you about vodka...

then one night I got sooooo sick because I over-indulged in vodka and orange juice...now I can't even stand to look at a bottle of vodka...

My drink of choice now is rye and gingerale. Sorry rye is what we Canadians call whiskey...lol.

It is soooo yummy and slides down easy... for the most part, my drinking days are past me thanks to the diabetes..lol.

Peggy said...

Rum is okay, but it is not my booze of choice. I've developed a fondness for gin but living where I do, it has to be whiskey. Wine is a big favourite and I've been known to down an entire bottle on my own when I'm not paying attention.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

When will Chicago catch a break?
First the cubs..the bears lost..
ugh...
Quick, pass me that rum..my throat is killing me!
Always,
Crusty~

mjd said...

As I have said before, "I do not drink any more." I might say that "I do not drink any less," but that would be for laughs.

I do remember a few favorite beverages. Rum is mighty good with other stuff like coke and egg nog. Make my scotch, Cutty Sark on the rocks, and my beer, PBR. Any kind or price of wine will do. I prefer the lovely warmth from one glass of wine compared to a three beer buzz and Budweiser...Ewww, Corky...Ick.

Heidi the Hick said...

RRRRRRRRRum!

Roll your tongue when you say it. In Florider my father in lawr mixed me up a rum and orange juice with a splash of Cointreau. Awesome.

Beer is still #1 and not cheap beer. You're worth more than that. Can you get Quebec beer where you are?

But the rum...small doses and siddown. Whyzzerum always GONE?

karma lennon said...

I don't like rum. If I'm doing liquor, it's tequila for me. It's really the only liquor I like. Vodka's not terrible (except when mixed with rum, learned that from a nasty game of quarters). Hee, I just remembered the night of Seagrams 7! What is that-gin?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

This is my favorite post I've seen of your's. And I'm not just saying that because I'm such a heavy drinker.

Alicia said...

I like vodka, but mainly in White Russians or Sprite.

I like beer.
A lot.
Yum.

I HATE, HATE, HATE Cap'n Morgans. BLECK! Seriously... I've puked a few times from it. NASTY SHIZ.

neroli said...

Dear Captain, I'm so Very Glad that you've got out of DC.
It's a Silly Place.
I toast to your infinite wisdom.
(neroli's got either Jack Daniels or absinthe. Every once and again some red wine.)
(Fergalicious definition?
Absinthe is supposed to make me crazy. I'll let you know :)

Keshi said...

I like port n brandy ;-)

Keshi.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I have never been a big rum drinker my own self so I really couldn't tell you. You see they tend to put that stuff in fruity drinks and I don't go for that kind of thing.

TheBirdman33 said...

my limited experience with drinking has taught me that every beer tastes like my grandfathers michelob light and I REALLY like sangria.

Sangria has given me the only buzz I've had in about 18 years.

TheBirdman33 said...

the fact that you spent Friday night listening to Fergie disturbs me on so many levels.

neroli said...

Captain, go forth, kick ass: and then take a day or two off :)

Crashdummie said...

You mentioned Vodka, but you didn't mention Absolute Vodka... specially Ruby! how rude...

regarding what you're missing with Rum... well lad, not all fairytales have a happy ending do they. ;)

Blancodeviosa said...

rum makes me stoopid.
and vomity..

nothin' cuter than a girl vomiting, right?

furiousBall said...

Rum is great for sneaking into football games.

Beefcake Almighty said...

You had to bust out my Carlo Rossi picture, didn't you?

Jessica said...

I haven't had a drink in a while. You're making me crave a lemon drop or anything with vodka w/a twist! I have to wait till I'm better though.

Jessica said...

Oh, I like Rum. It's my second choice after vodka for mixing drinks. I love the flavor of it.

Christie said...

I had some passion fruit rum the other day and it was pretty tasty. But I HATE beer. The smell, the taste, the way it looks like pee.

Christie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

I cannot partake of the Captain any more...one too many puke sessions in college. I LOVED that stuff. Until I threw up on one of my friends. And neither one of us noticed. For a long time. No more Captain.

Wine is king for me these days, light beer is second. Vodka is the way to go when I am assured there are no children around for at least 36 hours.

And damn if that stupid Big Girls Don't Cry song is in my head again. My daughter LOVES that song but usually I can keep it out of my head until she starts singing. Thanks for that.

leslie said...

http://www.titos-vodka.com/

Homebrew vodka, for real.

Lady K said...

There's a dark rum called "Whaler" that's REALLY sweet & smooth. Other than that I'm not much of a rum drinker. I'm with YOU on the vodka thing. Grey Goose is the BEST, though...just my opinion.

Tink said...

I'm all about the rum. Rum gives me a giggly, do-stupid-shit, buzz. Vodka gets me drunk and sick the quickest, but I never have a hangover the next day. With beer I have less chance of getting sick, but I fall asleep quicker. Shots of anything are a baaaaad idea.

Chucky said...

I liked your post so much I had to read it two times to make sure I got the point =)

Vodka fan here.

Not much of a Rum fan.

I need to drink more wine so I can be classy.

Whiskey and Scotc...never had.

Ashley said...

I do agree that sometimes you just have to vomit and it makes everything okay.

I LOVE VODKA! My favorite is a White Russian. I think there is no better drink out there. I also like how flexible vodka is. Vodka likes OJ, cranberry, Crystal Light, itself, ice, Kahlua, Vermouth. I mean, really, does any other liquor get along so well with other beverages??? I think not.

Princess Pointful said...

Pina coladas is what you are missing.

Besides that, rum is just a less good impression of vodka, in my book.

But, seriously Corky... Fergie?
Are you sure you aren't drinking ciders with umbrellas in them?

Jerrster said...

Rum is the drug of choice for Scurvy dogs....I only drink French Champagne and the girls say it tickles when going down...something I myself never try to let happen...I find it breaks the mood.

kat said...

Oooh I love conversations about booze!

Okay - here is what you might be missing with Rum. I don't generally drink it either but a Hot Buttered Rum is like the Egg Nog of fall. It's a great beverage to go with the autumn weather.

You take cider and boil it. While that's pouring you pour a shot (or two!) of Spiced Rum in a mug. Pour the hot cider over the rum and top with a pat of butter and a spinkle of cinnamon. It's deliciously amazing. Matter of fact, I had a couple last night!

If you try it let me know what you think.

kat said...

Oops... when I said pouring I meant boiling. And make sure you don't boil the rum - takes all the alcohol out of it!!!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

I need rum! I need rum.
Make this cold go away!!
And help Sir Nic leave me alone!
Always,
Crusty~

Cynnie said...

Mr gin and mrs tonic..
yeah baby

Burfica said...

I'm a girl drink drunk. hehehe

I like the brandy's we make. I like wine. And I like the flavored rums that I mix with stuff. Favorite is Mango rum with Sunny Delight. hehehe

See...girl drinks.

Jenny! said...

Ok...you forgot gin! I heart gin! I heart wine, reds and whites...and I heart Kettle One...and I heart Jager...and I heart Goldshlager...and I think I may need AA after that comment!

TheBirdman33 said...

I remember when this blog was updated regularly.

I hear the new hot spot is
Thepantry33.blogspot.com

Emmeline said...

I drink whatever the heck they put in my mixed drink at the bar! Although, I will say that I much prefer malibu & coke to rum & coke, not sure why. But . . . I think vodka is my number one as well . . . it seems that the drinks I end up liking the most have vodka in them.

Em

david mcmahon said...

I'm not a rum drinker, but Bundaberg Rum (Bundy) is big here in Oz.

thetwins said...

I think that movie so cool, because Sandra Oh who acting in Grey Anatomy's play in there.
So honestly i never drink rum.
But hope someday i can drink it. I don't think so, if we talking about the price in my country.
:)

Kristin said...

rum's not too bad if it's mixed with coke. But, generally I only like spiced rums or flavoured rums (banana, mango and pineapple are all pretty good!)

WARNING: Never ever ever ever EVER mix rum and vodka!!!! Trust me. I speak from experience! It does not make for a fun night, or a very pleasant morning after.