Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Captain's Day

On October 22nd In the year 2092 a new holiday will supersede Christmas as the world's most celebrated Holiday of the year. The name of this future holiday will be called Captain's Day.
How do I know this? A gypsy that I payed 5 bucks to read my palm on the boardwalk in Seaside Heights, NJ in 1993 told me. The Birdman was with me that day, and all we were trying to find out was who was going to get laid that weekend. That's all I wanted from this gypsy already, and yet she sprung that really heavy shit on me. I really haven't given it much thought since I walked out of the fortune teller's booth all those years ago. I was way too busy starring at the braciols walking up and down the boardwalk.

The Gypsy didn't really give me any details as to why this happens, but she did tell me about a lot of the customs and traditions that go along with Captain's Day. For Example, songs are sung on Captain's Day like, The First Drunken Stupor, Oh Come all Ye Commenters, and Oh Vodka Bottle. Also, A famous picture of Captain Corky will be drawn depicting the Captain eating dinner with a lot of other famous Captains, like Captain Stubing, Captain Kangaroo, and Captain and Tennille. The name of the future masterpiece will be called the Captain's Table. Please note that Captain Morgan will not be invited to eat dinner or make merry with us at the Captain's table because we rarely drink rum, and when we do it's always Bacardi 151.

By the way, any similarities between Christmas and Captain's Day are completely coincidental and really you can't compare the two. On Christmas Day you might wish somebody a Merry Christmas, but on Captain's Day you always say, "Bottoms UP" or "Cheers." You never say, "Merry Captain's Day!" It's also important to understand that alcohol sales for Captain's Day will completely obliterate alcohol sales for New Years Eve and St Patrick's Day combined. Every Year.

Again, the gypsy never told me why the world would be celebrating Captain's Day every October 22nd, I guess we're all going to have to wait and find out how it happens together. Incidentally, I wound up hooking up with some chick from Upstate New York that weekend and after about 45 minutes of kissing and a little petting she spent the rest of the night crying. Clearly it wasn't Captain's Day, or night for that matter.



PS Autumn is finally here!

59 comments:

HoosierGirl5 said...

Hey, October 22 is my daughter's 16th birthday! You ARE coming to the party, aren't you?

J.

Guilty Secret said...

Are you trying to tell us your birthday is coming up?

Uh-oh, did I just ruin all the magic?

Either that or I'm being a bit dim, I guess.

her indoors said...

so we only have another 85 years to wait mmm that will make me 131 years young, so if it's ok with you i will start celebrating it this year!

Biddie said...

Wow sounds like a great Holiday. The only problem is that Captain Mprgan IS my fav captain, after you of course. Me and Captain go WAY back.
Will there be gift giving? Paid leave from work? What kind of food will we serve???

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Funny, I use to visit seaside heights NJ every summer..you should have been out browsing the boardwalk!! :)
But, at least I now can prepare myself for the capt's day..and find my sewing needle, your pic has assisted me with my halloween costume! :)
Happy first FALL MAX! :)
Always,
Crusty~

karma lennon said...

Wow, I can't wait for Captain's Day! That picture is adorable!!!!

Terri said...

I'm with 'her indoors'; I can't wait til 2092! Since you are one of the "in" guys, can you move it up to say 2012 or so?

abbagirl74 said...

Holy cow! The boy is getting big! What a cutie!

RockDog said...

Maybe Capt. Morgan can sit at the Kids table with me and celebrate. Neither of us ever get the good seats!

Feels Like Home said...

Captin's day sounds like fun times! I agree that you should be able to move it up a few decades though.

I think Max gets cuter each time we see him!

The Lone Beader said...

Okay, I'll mark Captain's Day on my calendar:D

But, previously, it was my sister's day, just so ya know. :D

Jay said...

Since I don't think I'll still be alive in 2092 I might go ahead and start celebrating this year. That way I don't get left out like I usually do.

Too bad Captain Hook and Captain Nemo didn't make the cut either. They can hook up with Captain Morgan and maybe find a fourth for a few hands of poker and talk about what might have been.

Aunt Jackie said...

I'm very glad Autumn is here... Even in Memphis it's feeling crisp this morning. I am praying we get at least a little snow.

Another sweet pic of Max!!! He's a doll... xoxo

AJ

Christie said...

Why wait until 2092? Let's start this year. I wonder if I could get a bar to give me a free drink for it? I've heard of people getting free drinks for such things, but maybe it's an urban legend. Wait, why do I care? I'm a girl, I never pay for my drinks anyway.

And who gave Corky Jr. permission to get so big? When did that happen?

Beefcake Almighty said...

What about "Beefcake Almighty's Day To Get Wasted On Someone Else's Dollar?"

Nancy said...

Look at that SMILE , so huggably cute!

Big Pissy said...

Will there be a t-shirt for Captain's Day? Or just a hat?

You know how I am about t-shirts. ;-)

I didn't think it was possible, but Max just gets cuter and cuter! :)

Gina said...

Where can I buy my decorations?

And look at that guy, so adorable!

furiousBall said...

I hear that Tennile is planning a huge fucking blowout for the Captain

Princess Pointful said...

Only a little less than a decade until copious drinking will finally receive the recognition it deserves.

Tink said...

Now THATS a holiday I can get behind!

Hehe. Get behind.

Emmeline said...

I hope I live to see Captain's Day!!

Em

fiwa said...

If it's that great - screw waiting till 2092, let's get this party started! October could be Captain's month. Watch out for Captain Kangaroo though, he gets a little frisky.

Young Captain is looking purty cute in his warm up suit. He's got such a happy grin!

Maddy said...

85! It makes my brain ache.
Cheers

BottleBlonde said...

By the time Captain's Day rolls around, I'll be 113, which means that getting drunk and stumbling over my tits will be all the more hilarious.

captain corky said...

Hoosiegirl5: What a coincidence... October 22nd is my Birthday too. ;)

Guilty Secret: Of course not! I was merely trying to give you a glimpse into the world's future. ;)

Her Indoors: People all around the world will start celebrating Captain's Day many years before 2092. I plan on doing a little celebrating this year myself as a matter of fact. Let's celebrate together!

Biddie: If you want to bring Captain Morgan to the party then we'll have to make room for him, but you are completely responsible for him. ;)

Crustybeef: I can't wait to see and hear about your costume. You are going to post a pic on your blog, right?

kat said...

HAHAHAHA - I wasn't the girl kissing and then crying on the Boardwalk but I wonder if I ever met you guys while hanging out down there!

Outside of that, what's up with Cap'n Crunch not being part of the Captains Table? Is he at the kiddie table or some type of bullshit? It's totally not fair. More grown-ups eat the Cap'n than one would think!

captain corky said...

Karma: It should be a great time had by all!

Terri: That might be doable, but let me speak to the man upstairs and make sure it's okay.

Abbagirl74: It's true, milk really does a body good!

Rockdog: Do you guys plan to sneak drinks all night long? That's what we used to do. ;)

Feels Like Home: Thanks! At this rate Captain's Day should overtake Groundhog's Day by next year on the holiday pecking order.

Ashley said...

That is such a beautiful picture of Max! Really fantastic.

I plan to be immortal by that point, so I will definitely be around for the day. I cannot wait! I may buy a bottle of something tomorrow and get a head start on the celebration.

captain corky said...

Beader: October is great month for Birthdays! Don't you think so?

Jay: All Captains are invited and the more people can come up with the merrier.

Aunt Jackie: I really want to see lots of snow this year too. We got gypped last year and got very little or no snow.

Christie: Maybe we should start this year! Everyone seems

Beefcake Almighty: That's not a bad idea at all. Drinking for free is where it's at, that's why I'm making friends with all of my neighbors.

captain corky said...

Nancy: Thanks! He's really awesome isn't he.

Pissy: You would look great in a Captain's Day t-shirt! There will also be shot glasses and Captain's Day beer mugs available. ;)

Gina: Most liquor stores, some CVS's, Walgreens, Rite Aids and Macy's too.

Furiousball: Tennile can party with the best of em, and what a looker!!!

Princess: It's about time, right?

captain corky said...

Tink: I love getting behind. It's one of my favorite things to do. ;)

Emmeline: You will! Just keep drinking milk, watching lots of TV and going to movies once in a while and everything will be fine.

Fiwa: A whole month devoted to a holiday. Now that's a good idea Fiwa!!!

Maddy: Welcome to the family! I look forward to visiting with you when I get back from work tonight.

BottleBlonde: We're going to have to move captain's Day up a couple of years. We don't want you hurting yourself or anything. ;)

captain corky said...

Kat: I don't think we would forget you if we met, but you never know. And of course Cap'n Crunch is definitely invited to the party!

Ashley: Thanks! That sounds like a great plan. Just out of curiosity, how are you going to do that and what kind of booze are you going to buy?

neroli said...

What a cute little pumpkin Corky Jr. is!
Is it really your birthday then?
BG turns 17 on the 24th!
I know. It's not the same day.
But close enough to toast, yes?
Definitely Ole No. 7 for the likes of such quality fellows :)!

TheBirdman33 said...

I hate to quibble but it was Wildwood. I just have a rep to protect and don't want anyone to think I was in Seaside....

TheBirdman33 said...

Cork
you have missed a really good post or two in the cupboard, get on it.

TheBirdman33 said...

Ah, the crying girl. You were quite the mack daddy of the boardwalk!!

TheBirdman33 said...

Max looks so good in that picture!!!

mjd said...

Wow, Corky Junior is getting so big. If October 22 is your birthday and you want me to bake you a cake. Tell us your favorite kind of cake and icing.

Good night, Captain

Keshi said...

Maxerz looks cuddly there!

Keshi.

Peggy said...

What a sweet photo of Max. He is sure growing fast!

Casdok said...

Bottoms up!
Sounds a great idea!
And love the pic!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

capt; I've changed my mind..I'm going to be a freudian slip for halloween. :)
Always,
Crusty~

Jenny! said...

Cute picture! Made me forget all about your new holiday!

Enemy of the Republic said...

Captain's Day it is! I love that photo of Kirk in his younger days getting all the action. Did you happen to see William Shatner in Brad Paisley's video of Online? It's a riot. They make a stab at all those records he recorded--any Star Trek nut is familiar with those misfortunes--check it out on You Tube if they haven't yanked it for copyright crap. Jason Alexander is in it as well. The song isn't much, but I will see anything with William Shatner!

dilling said...

Captain America?
Captain Hook?
Cap'n Jack Sparrow?
Captain Caveman?
Captains Adama and Starbuck?

Cynnie said...

I am NOT an "oooh looky at the bayyybeeee " sort o' gal ..
but damn.

thats a cute baby

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

That's funny, I heard there is to be a Whimsical Day on October 15th sometime in the future.

I do think it's kind of rude that Captain Morgan isn't invited.

eric1313 said...

All right!

The good captain in his "phasers set on ladykiller swoon".


More captains than the ones everyone else said? (I think, I could be repeating myself)

Cap'n Crunch
Captain Howdy
Captain Obvious
Captain Doolittle (or was he a Colonel? What ever he was, I want his job!)

Captain Ron, even...

Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce
Captain Honeycut
Captain BJ Trapper
(Now that's one hell of a name!)

I think that's all the captains I know...

You should celebrate this every year!

erika said...

no captain morgan? that's so sad
:(

Canadian flake said...

hmmmmm the first thing I noticed was that you didn't leave a chair at the captain's table for the following:

Captain James T Kirk
Captain Spock
Captain Jean Luc Picard
Captain Kathryn Janeway.

hmmmmmmm do I see a pattern here?? What were you thinking?? LOL

And OMGGGGGGGG do NOT forget about Captain Kangaroooooooo...lol.

p.s. Eric1313 - just wanted to mention that "Captain BJ Trapper
(Now that's one hell of a name!)"
was actually Captain BJ Honeycutt and Captain John "trapper" macIntyre..lol

HAR said...

That sweet smile is priceless. What a little cutie.

captain corky said...

Neroli: Thanks! We're getting this one framed.

Birdman: Thanks for setting me straight man. My brain is shot these days.

MJD: I would love a cake! Chocolate or Yellow with Chocolate frosting. I love cup cakes too. ;)

Keshi: "Maxerz" I like that!

Peggy: It's the milk I tell you. Pretty soon he's going to be 6 feet tall.

qofd said...

I tried to concentrate on this post, I really did. But that photo of Captain Kirk just really did me in. At least I had the photo of Corky Jr. at the end to revive me.

Now what was October 22nd about again?

captain corky said...

Casdok: Thanks, and Cheers. ;)

Crusty: Your costume has inspired me Crusty! I'm going as a unrealized dream. ;)

Jenny: He's great isn't he! Can I make you a drink?

Enemy: I haven't seen it yet but I got some good stuff. I'll send you a link to a really good montage I got.

Dilling: One of these days we'll have the list ironed out. Great additions!

captain corky said...

Cynnie: Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you'll join the family. :)

Whim: Very nice! I always knew that you were a leader. Just like me. ;)

Eric: How could I have forgotten the Mash gang? Those guys can drink! Good call!!!

Erika: It seems that people really like Morgan so I'm going to have to change my position on him.

Canadian Flake: Kirk is the guest of honor every year Flake. That goes without saying. ;)

Thanks for the reminder and we mustn't forget Captain Sulu or Solo.

captain corky said...

Har: Thanks! He's incredible.

QofD: Good thing I didn't put a pic up of Captain Corky, there's not telling what would happen. ;)

eric1313 said...

I was totally just going to say Captain Sulu and Solo...

You got it covered.

Heather said...

Aw, now I miss Love Boat. Damn!

And that is one CUTEEEE baby.