Thursday, December 27, 2007

Captain Corky's Rockin' New Years Eve

Please Note: We here at Corky's log do not recognize Ryan Seacrest, Mario Lopez, or any other pretender to the thrown. When it comes to counting down the last minute of any year, we always go with Dick Clark.

2007, or The Year of Captain Corky is about to come to a close and it's been a great year. The Colts won the Super Bowl, we moved, had a kid, and I bought lots of action figures under the guise of them being for Max. I'm sure he'll play with them too. Yep it's been a great year.

Am I sad that 2007 is ending? Yes.

Do I think 2008 will be just as good? Yes.

Will I probably win the Powerball in 2008? Probably yes.

Will I buy more action figures in 2008? Of course!

Am I still mourning the death of Yvonne Decarlo? I am, but at least I can see her on TV Land. Every day.

Oh yeah, great news folks, we got a new toilet! Have you ever used a brand new toilet that no one has ever sat on but you and your wife, and now a close friend? It's an amazing experience! One of the greatest experiences of my life. The porcelain... it's so clean and cold. I love it!!! Makes me wanna go take a dump right now. Maybe I'll go get a bag of Sliders. Yum!

Happy New Year Folks!!!

64 comments:

Dana said...

I'd say the brand, spankin' new toilet comes pretty close to topping the 2007 list of great things!

captain corky said...

It's a beautiful thing Dana!

Jay said...

Dude, if I got a brand new toilet that had never been used I'd eat at Taco Bell everyday for a week. Just to break it in properly.

Barbara Doduk said...

I think they should do that to Dick Clark's head when he finally dies.

Enjoy your dump hahahahahahahaha

Smoochies from
B @ The Love Blog
http://iamlove.blogspot.com

The Lone Beader said...

I'm gonna ask my landlord for a new toilet! LOL.

And, 2008 better be better....

fiwa said...

I shouldn't have read the comments, I shoulda known better. ;)

Dude, if a brand new toilet is your happy place, then I wish you a new one every day of 2008. Free of course, I don't want you to have to PAY for your happy. And uh, maybe someone else could install it for you too. I'll work on it and get back to you.

Jacqueline said...

LOL!!! I'm ashamed I actually knew right off the bat what "Sliders" was haha!

Dick Clark... HAHAH!!

Mr. J installed the last toilet we bought... all by himself. I know, manly huh!! :P

Lady K said...

Ever since I've "known" ya, I've been obsessed with cleaning my toilet. And I've been on my landlord forEVER because BOTH of them run, which wastes water.

And now you've also got me working on my own year in review for 2007. Good times, bad times...

When I DO get back east next year, you guys better be ready to make a little road trip!

mjd said...

Happy New Year Corky. I hope that 2008 is fun-filled and profitable for you and your family. Winning the Powerball certainly would be helpful. Think of all the new toilets that you could buy with your millions.

Pink said...

well hell.

that just blows your purpose in life.

whats the point of scrubbing a toilet bowl with a good stiff brush if its brand new?

Well, maybe it will get some stain to be scrubbed off in 2008. Here's hoping!
xx
pinks

Casdok said...

Im sure you will make the most of it!

Tod said...

LoL at the new toilet happiness. You kill me. It's funny cos it's true!

We got three here so when we moved in I had to wait and take 3 dumps before experiencing nirvana. :)

Palm Springs Savant said...

congrats onthe new toilet! Actually I like going to home depot and checking out all the toilet seats on the wall. Dr Wang likes the squishy one with the plastic fish in it!

RockDog said...

My resolution for the new year will be to take a dump in a new toilet.

That will be awesome!

Nauma said...

Happy New Year Corky.
I also love my toilete, I clean it to shine everyday. Am I fan?

captain corky said...

Jay: That sounds like a good alternative plan if I get tired of Whit Castles, but I don't think that will happen. LOL

Barbara Doduk: Dick Clark will probably live for another years, and if anyone deserves to be immortalized he does. ;)

Beader: It's the least your landlord could do. ;)

Fiwa: That's a good idea! In a week or so I might be tired of the new toilet, but I doubt it. ;)

Jacqueline: That's very impressive. Who got first crack at it? ;)

Leighann said...

Here's to 2008 being a year of great dumps for you and your new toilet!

captain corky said...

Lady K: Looking forward to reading your year in review. It's a good thing Allyson is the landlord around here. Shit gets done that way. ;)

MJD: I could build an entire house filled with beautiful toilets. One can dream, can't he? ;)

Pink: It's so new and unused. I've never even thrown up in it... Yet. ;)

Casdok: Yes, both the new toilet and the new year. ;)

Tod: Three?!? You guys are my heroes!

captain corky said...

Palm Spring Savant: I've only just discovered the beauty of Home Depot. Who knew how great that store is. ;)

Rockdog: That's one hell of a resolution. The experience is indescribable. ;)

Nauma: I love a woman who cleans her toilet everyday! ;)

Leighann: It should be a great year. I just hope I don't get the runs to often. ;)

furiousBall said...

my 2007 sucked big time. 2008 better have it's proverbial shit together.

Biddie said...

The only brand new toilet that I have ever used was floor model. I assume that it was never used before. It sure looked good until I finished with it :)

Josie said...

There is nothing in life quite like a brand new toilet, except perhaps a brand new toilet seat from Canadian Tire. You know the kind, all sort of squishy when you sit on it, not hard and plastic?

Heh.

Happy New Year!

Cheers,
Josie

Sassy Lucy said...

Have a happy New Year Corky, a new toilet something I can only dream of right now, but I promise I'll let you know when we are so blessed.
Sure the action figures are for Max, just like Papa Bear collects Star Wars stuff for the boys....want to as the 15yo & 14yo how often they get to touch the as yet unopened Star Wars stuff??? I know your sneaky ways Corky yes I do!!!!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Enjoy those sliders...and go to the closest White Castle, too far and you'll be stuck using someone else's dirty toilet!

Happy New Year!

willSIX said...

Futurama! Nicely done, Captina.

Congratulations on your new toilet. Many happy returns!

Matt-Man said...

Mmmmmmmmm White Castle. Happy Dumping. Cheers!!

captain corky said...

Furiousball: It will be my friend. Not that I'm Ms Cleo or anything.

Biddie: So you know exactly how I feel every time I sit down to take care of business. ;)

Josie: Too much air in those soft seats for my tastes. I like a nice hard toilet seat for extra support. ;)

Happy New Year to you too.

Sassy: I swear the Super Hero figures I buy in hordes are for Max. No, really. ;)

I got a chance to take the new toilet out for a spin a couple of minutes ago. What an amazing ride. :)

Real Live Lesbian: I always where my adult diaper when I eat at a White Castle that isn't around the corner. No way am I using one of there's. ;)

captain corky said...

Willsix: I've only used it about 10 times so far, but I already feel like we got our moneys worth. ;)

Matt-Man: Isn't that what life's all about? ;)

Emmeline said...

Congrats on the new toilet. I'd be excited about that too - although what I would be excited about would be leaving the first streaks. :) Happy end of 2007!

Em

Burfica said...

I'm so looking forward to 2008, cuz 2007 sucked big hairy donkey dick for me. lol

Yeah I love the new toilet feeling. gives you a warm fuzzy. hehehehe

Christie said...

You have a new toilet? Can I come visit? I'll baby-sit for free for a chance to sit on a toilet that actually flushes the first time you flush it.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

LOL! Congrats on the new commode!

Princess Pointful said...

Seemlessly blending talk of new toilets and a year's review?
You've got mad skills, Corky!

Leslie said...

...a very "moving" post, Captain.

Big Pissy said...

Cork, knowing you as I do...I'm sure you'll be taking a dump in that new toilet while watching Dick Clark on New Year's Eve.

Enjoy! ;-)

Sassy Lucy said...

Corky love, I have relocated you in the Universe's blogosphere, you are now a PROUD PAPA

Cheryl said...

You are one bad boy. I don't think I want to know what sliders are.

karma lennon said...

Sounds like you had a rockin' year! I'm glad it was so good and hope 2008 is even better!

Rick said...

What would the world be without Dick Clark. We must pickle him - for the good of humanity.

http://organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/

eric1313 said...

I sure have used anew toilet. I used to be a apartment maintenance man. I've unfortunately installed many a new krapper. But guess who the first to inaugurate their new facility was?

Not them!

Happy New Year's bash. Fuck Seacrest with someone else's plunger.

katy said...

Have a Happy Crapping New Year Corky

captain corky said...

Emmeline: I wanted to christen the bowl myself, but I think my wife beat me too it. Rats.

Happy New Year!

Burfica: How do you really feel about 2007? ;) Hope 2008 is great for you, and your family!

Christie: Every time I flush it I expect it to break, but it never does. It's a very serious toilet. LOL

Whim: Thanks! It's a beautiful thing. :)

Princess: Thanks. I've always considered myself to be an artist. ;)

captain corky said...

Leslie: My wife was very fond of your comment. LOL!

Pissy: I actually thought about that. You do know me so well. ;)

Sassy Lucy: Very nice!

Cheryl: You haven't lived until you've eaten a case of sliders. ;)

Karma: That would be awesome! I hope 08 is good for you too.

captain corky said...

Rick: Exactly! I think he may be a savior of sorts. LOL

Eric: LOL! Suckers.

Katy: I will. Any suggestions on what I should eat leading up to big dump? LOL!

Peggy said...

The joys of a non-public toilet! Just wait two years when little Max is learning to pee standing up.

Melissa said...

Happy New Year to you all! Where are the pictures of the sparkly new potty? It's clean now, but once you start potty training Max.....good luck - little boys have VERY bad aim! :-)

dawn said...

oh, i am just sitting here thinking that in the new year that lil' second captain will be walking soon and will be throwing so many things away in that toilet while you aren't looking...so start saving up your money now to get the plumber back out in a few months.

**"Liza"** said...

ohh I now the feeling of having one toilet..;lol..;) You never now you might win that power ball and be a millionaire..Ohhh get those gold toilet, Im sure it fell much much better..lol..;) Hope your new year bring a lot of luck and prosperity..;)

Jay Cam said...

whoa you have a "dick clark's head in a jar" too?!
awesome so do i! (not really)

Cazzie!!! said...

Too funny corky..I hope your 2008 is just awesome..and ,don't forget, if you win Powerball y'all have to come Down Under to visit us ok :)

nikki said...

Why do i SUDDENLY HAVE THE URGE TO GO BUY MYSELF A NEW SHITTER? (damn caps lock button)

jAMiE said...

Mmmmm, did Jay mention Taco Bell? Its 4am and i'm hungry...nice new toilets are cool, we got one a few months ago.

Happy New Year Corky...to you and your wife and Max...may 2008 be a safe, happy and healthy one for all of you!

Joshua said...

Yes sir you have had a full year. I guess I should take a look back at what I've done.

I would like to see some new porcelain here, but seeing as I got something like 8 roomies. I don't think it will keep that new look for long.

Crashdummie said...

No Mario Lopez? But but but…how will I now be saved if not by the bell. Ehum. Ok, a tad far streched but anyway. Have a wicked 2008 cc! First new year with Max the adoreable, how sweet! Cheers!

kat said...

This was a grand year for you - and I know that 2008 will be just as great. I am mourning the loss of Yvonne as well, however I racked a lot of points for her on the death pool so I will always be grateful to her.

Happy New Year to everyone at the homestead. Happy flushing.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

New Toilet's rock, but why is it that I always spell toilets, TOLIETS..

Happy New Years!
Always,
Crusty~

TheBirdman33 said...

You, my friend, have issues.

Jessica said...

Happy New Year, Capt!

CresceNet said...

Gostei muito desse post e seu blog é muito interessante, vou passar por aqui sempre =) Depois dá uma passada lá no meu site, que é sobre o CresceNet, espero que goste. O endereço dele é http://www.provedorcrescenet.com . Um abraço.

Pud said...

Dick Clark is 200 years old and will more than likely continue doing New Year's for another 200 years.

Palm Springs Savant said...

Well Corky, another New Years Eve has passed...and I miss the old Dick Clark days when he was a real rockin dude....oh well. time marches on I guess. Will someone get me abeer before I am too old to enjoy it??

HoosierGirl5 said...

Happy New Year, Corky.

XXOO,
J.

Ashley said...

I was kind of hoping for a Dick Clark cameo this year. I didn't watch all of the show, though, so I am not sure if there was one or not. Ryan Seacrest is becoming less and less annoying to me. I saw him on Kimmel one night and he is pretty good at making fun of himself, which made me like him more. Still not watching Idol, though.

Canadian flake said...

I think 2007 should forever be known as "The Year of the MAX"..lol.