As some of you know, and for others who are about to find out, Vodka is my AOC (alcohol of choice). I drink it straight with ice, and drinking a bottle this size in one sitting is not a problem. High school guidance counselors, Preachers, and criminal enterprises disguised as health care organizations, who charge people 20,000 dollars for one month of treatment, may tend to disagree with me.
These days when I do drink Vodka, I usually drink ALONE, and only after Allyson and Max have gone to bed, on a Friday or Saturday night, once or twice a month.
Sometimes I let the ice melt a little to make my drink a little smoother, but after the first glass it all goes down like water anyway.
After I start feeling a little buzzed, or even sometimes before, I make a playlist of music, either on Youtube or Itunes. This is usually the first song I listen to: Song Number 1.
In the past I've written posts while drinking, but I've learned that for me, they basically read the same as if I was completely sober when I wrote them. Spell check becomes a major fucking issue, but besides that, it's pretty safe to Blog While Intoxicated.
After I've listened to Song Number 1 for about an hour, I move on to Song Number 2.
At this point in my life this is the only time that I truly enjoy listening to music, unless I'm on a 723 mile road trip to NJ from Kentucky, or scrubbing a toilet.
Usually somewhere between Song Number 2 and Song Number 3 I wind up breaking the seal. When I was in my 20's I could go as long as Song Number 5 before I had to piss like a race horse.
Please note: This scientifically proven formula is based on Vodka and no other type of alcohol. Obviously my bladder would be breached much quicker if I were drinking beer, for example.
By the time Song Number 1o rolls around, It's almost 6 in the morning, my vision is blurred, wet brain has set in, my stomach is growling, and I'm completely soused, stewed, tanked, totaled, zonked, glazed, hammered, hosed etc. God only knows what I am doing between songs 6 through 9... and only God knows what those songs are/were.
Twelve hours later I start to feel like myself again. Forty Eight hours after that, I don't have the shits anymore, and by the time two or three weeks have gone by, it's time to start listening to some music again.