Monday, July 14, 2008

Corn Flakes



Last night while I was at work I found myself fantasizing about eating a heaving bowl of Corn Flakes.

It really makes sense if you think about it, because A. I was hungry and B. I got a killer deal on a box yesterday at Target. I paid under 3 dollars for a 1 pound, 2 ounce box. That's not bad.

There's no chance that you'll find that kind of a deal at your local grocery stores like Safeway, Kroger, ShopRite or even Foodtown for that matter. At least not without a membership card and coupons out the wazoo.
I didn't really look around to see if they had great deals on other cereals. I like Rice Krispies too, but this one's not about that...

As soon as I'm done writing this post I'm going to make myself a bowl. And don't worry, I'm not going to sex it up with bananas or surround my bowl with orange juice, grapefruit juice or toast. I'm just going to get a bowl and load it up with Corn Flakes and Vitamin D fortified 100% whole milk. Chances are I'll have seconds, but I'll wait and see how my stomach responds to eating the first bowl. I already know how my mouth and heart will respond.
This is how it will go: I'll click on Publish Post, get out of my chair, walk to the kitchen, open box of cereal, pour cereal into bowl, pour milk into bowl, grab a tablespoon, bring bowl back to computer room, let bowl sit for about two or three minutes, and then I'll feast. It's going to be glorious.

Please Note: Captain Corky never uses teaspoons for eating unless it's an emergency, like a picnic or if I'm at somebody else's house and either they don't own silverware or most of it's dirty.

46 comments:

Dana said...

When I fantasize about Cork Flakes it doesn't usually involve a teaspoon either - what a coincidence!

Tod said...

Teaspoons are for removing teabags from mugs. Nowt else. When I'm given a teaspoon to eat with I fling it back so it bounces off the stupid heathen's nogging. I'm funny like that.

RockDog said...

As an added bonus, eating that many Flakes should also loosen any colon blockages that you might have had.

Just sayin'...

Sunshine said...

Mmmmmmmmmmmm, corn flakes.

furiousBall said...

what were you wearing when eating the corn flakes? please respond quickly, i'm almost there

Nancy said...

Flakes = mushy ... have it!

I am so with you on no teaspoons though =)

Jay said...

Do you sprinkle a little sugar on those cardboard ... er ... corn flakes? haha

katie said...

There is nothing and i mean, NOTHING hotter than a guy that knows how to sex up a bowl of cornflakes, Corkster. I don't know i am going to be able to concentrate all day today after reading this post, baby! wohooooooooo! :)

Hope you had a great weekend!

The Lone Beader said...

I don't really like cornflakes cuz they get soggy too fast. I like Special K with strawberries! :D

Cheryl said...

Count me in for Special K with berries. The plain stuff? Nah.

little wanderer said...

how many bowls have you had now?
I am that person who eats with a teaspoon, no, no hear me out, you see with a teaspoon you get to savour the taste more honest you do, especially when eating cheese cake mmmmmmmmm plus I only got a small mouth!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tod said...

Little Wanderer, I am phoning the police!!!

Christie said...

Crap, now I want corn flakes. All we have are bran flakes. So not the same thing.

TheBirdman33 said...

I would need A LOT of sugar to enjoy Corn Flakes, that is why I go for Frosted Flakes. I also really enjoy LIFE cereal, it's wonderful.

Knight said...

What is taking you so long? Are you getting into the anticipation and teasing yourself by continuing the blog? I would have stopped mid sentence and went for a bowl.

Chris H said...

You. Are. Weird. Couldn't you think of something more devine and delishous to fantasise about eating than bloody CORNFLAKES??? LOL did ya put sugar on the top even?

Burfica said...

I had strawberry mini wheats.

Metal Mark said...

Now I am hungry, thanks a lot.

Anonymous said...

Corky is cuter than a young John Travolta eating corn flakes...

Life with JJ, Starr and Spice said...

I am totally impressed that you could make a blog post about corn flakes so darn funny.

Wishing you seconds!

captain corky said...

Dana: Let's start a petition to abolish teaspoons.

Tod: There are few of us, but we stand together my brother!

Rockdog: And it did.

Sunshine: I knew an Iowa girl would understand my love for Corn Flakes.

Furiousball: A really fine collared shirt and a pair of Dockers. I was looking fly!

captain corky said...

Nancy: Just the way I love them, nice and soggy. ;)

Jay: Never! That's a sin in this house.

Katie: I'm sorry. I'll try to be a little more conservative with my posts from here on out. ;)

Beader: My wife really likes Special K with strawberries too.

Cheryl: I heart the plain stuff, but Allyson empathizes with you. ;)

captain corky said...

Little Wanderer: I'll make an exception for you, but anybody else who eats with a teaspoon is OUT!

Tod: Nice! We need to be more firm when dealing with teaspoon users.

Christie: Bran Flakes are hardcore! I don't even know If I could do Bran Flakes.

Birdman: I like Frosted Flakes too. I consider them a sister cereal to Corn Flakes and I'm sure when the time is right, I will enjoy two heaping bowls of Frosted Flakes.

Knight: In order to write the piece effectively I had to go the starving artist route, and it was well worth the wait!

captain corky said...

Chris H: Not at the time, but today I'm kind of in the mood for some Sushi. But then again I'm always in the mood for sushi. ;)

Burfica: How many bowls?

Metal Mark: I have that affect on people sometime. Welcome back my friend!

Anonymous. I bet Travolta's mother can't prepare a bowl of Corn Flakes like I can! ;)

Life with JJ, Starr and Spice: I bet you say that to all of your blogging cousins. ;)

Melissa said...

Corn flakes are tasty, but I am big fan of the Frosted Flakes myself....

Will you share your Corn Flakes w/Max? I'm sure he can grab the spoon from you! :-)

Aunt Jackie said...

Corn Flakes are cool and all, but I still am partial to my Lucky Charms... they're magically delicious!

Cereal in general rocks though.

Love ya Corky!!! :))

Casdok said...

So how was it for you? Was it glorious?!

Burfica said...

ummm 2 bowls.

leslie said...

If anonymous comments more than once on this post, will that make them a cereal commenter?

Patti said...

Corn Flakes with no sugar or bananas or strawberries or anything? AND you let it sit and get mushy? No thanks...give me Special K Redberries.

On a related note, I live not far from the Kelloggs headquarters and until recently, you could tour the factory, watch them make Corn Flakes, and get a fresh box FREE. Good times. Damn health regulations stopping people from being in the factory. You can still go to the cereal celebration in the summer where you get as many Corn Flakes as your little stomach can handle!

Spamboy said...

Will you add milk to the bowl? Or just dry-hump it?

Biddie said...

I like Raisin Bran. Keeps me regular.
TMI???

captain corky said...

Melissa: I shared a nice bowl of vanilla Ice Cream with him yesterday. We both loved it.

Aunt Jackie: I once ate an entire box of Lucky Charms when I was 18. As a result I still have trouble looking at them today. ;)

Casdok: Oh yes!

Burfica: Not bad. I usually eat two bowls. One's never enough and three is too much. 2 is perfect.

Leslie: Yes and commenting about John Travolta's looks will be part of annoymous's modus operandi.

captain corky said...

Patti: I'll have to pencil the Cereal Celebration in for next Summer. Should I bring my own spoon?

Spamboy: No dry humping for me, my Johnson deserves better than that!

Biddie: LOL! Nothing wrong with being healthy.

Guilty Secret said...

You let it sit for a few minutes? What are you, INSANE?!

I actually don't like cornflakes but I never let my fruit n fibre sit. Oh no.

Actually lately I've been eating it with soya milk so I really have no right to comment as that's just plain weird.

dilling said...

dare I even mention that I don't like (most) cereals? gasp...
but most especially cornflakes that go soggie in about a second and a half...aaaieee, even the thought of cold, soggy flakes is making the hair stand up on my arms...
but you enjoy!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

so how did you fantasize? were you beating off while pouring the milk? or maybe fingering your taint while hearing the cruch of the flakes echo in our mouth?

do tell us moar!

whimsical brainpan said...

You fantasize about cereal? I would have guessed it would be about something more Trek involved.

Real Live Lesbian said...

I love a man that uses the big spoon!

Big Pissy said...

Frosted mini wheats....

those are my faves.

Princess Pointful said...

I've recently re-discovered the sheer fantasticness of breakfast cereals.

I worship at the alter of Mini Wheats.

Burfica said...

Today I had 2 bowls of the new Blueberry Muffin flavored frosted Mini wheats.

Portia said...

Frosted flakes are not usually my first choice, but now that I've read your post, I'm hungry enough to go for a heaving bowl of just about any cereal...except for, of course Grape Nuts. Ew.

Tink said...

A 1 pound box?! Wow. I need to hit up Target on the way home. Hoop takes out an average-size box in one sitting. Which to me is madness (madness I tell ya!) but whatever. I'm not a dude and apparently this is "what dude's do".

Pink said...

fantasies...about...corn flakes?

this must be what happens when you get married and have kids





good thing I'm single and motherless. I'm free to fantasize about Orlando Bloom all night long....with or without teaspoons.

xx
pinks

youarekiddingme said...

I, too, love cereal - any time of the day.