The other day I read an article on AOL (the only reliable news source one should ever trust) about 2007 being the year for America's next Baby Boom. About 4,315,000 million babies were born in 07, the most in American history. The article went on to say that it can't really be considered a Baby Boom because the population is so much larger now then it was in 1957 (the peak of the post World War II Baby Boom). But quickly after that sentence I lost interest in the article and closed the link. It would really crush me if you did the same after reading the first paragraph of this post.
How fucking dare you!
I consider myself to be an independent thinker and I try to be an original, but maybe I'm not... Maybe I'm just as mindless as the other 4,314,999 men that decided to shoot their loads in 2007. And just in case you don't know, 4,314,999 + 1 = 4,315,000.
When my wife and I decided that we wanted to become parents in 2006 I don't recall saying to her "we might as well, everyone else is doing it." I remember wanting to be a father so I had a son to play ball with, a son to go fishing with, a son to carry on the legacy of Captain Corky some day, and most importantly a son that I could love. All original and sensible reasons for wanting to have a child.
I also remember a lot of celebrities having babies in 2007 and all sorts of movies being made on the subject, and at the time I was swept up in the emotion of being an expecting parent and the timing seemed perfect. But now I'm starting to realize that Max is going to have a lot more competition than either me or any of the Baby Boomers ever had when he strikes out on his own into the cold cruel world.
True he will have the gift of my blood running through his veins and the Corky looks and the Corky intellect that I bestowed upon him, but will that be enough for him to compete with the other 4,314,999 human beings born in 2007? And what about all the babies that were born in 2006 and all the babies that are being born now? That's a shit load of babies!
Let's just be clear about something though, when Allyson and I decide to have our next baby it won't be because Brad Pitt's having a baby, or a crusty old book tells us that we should be fruitful and multiply, and it certainly won't be because of my fear and insecurities about my own mortality, and we won't even have anouther kid for the tax credit. I'm simply not that mindless. It'll be because three Corkys are better than two.