I first encountered one of these crosses being held by a crackpot at the Pegasus Parade a few days before the KY Derby. The crackpot's shirt read: Fear God! At first I was offended that he was blocking the cotton candy guy from making his rounds, but then I got an idea... What if I shrink the three sectional cross a little so that it will fit nicely into an exclusively hand sown back pack for $39.99. Then if demons start popping out of gopher holes all you have to do is pull out your Captain Corky collapsible cross, that you take everywhere, and you're as good as gold.
Fear not Jewish friend, Corky Lab Corp is currently working on a collapsible Star of David. Please note that because the Star of David has six points it will cost a little more than the cross or the hand sown backpack. But is $69.99 really too much to pay for eternal protection? I think not.
Remember folks, not only does Jesus and God love you, but so do I! Sometimes I think you forget that.
5 comments:
Other products we're working on currently include Kosher Holy Water. The more bloated you are from drinking the water the more protected you are.
I have no doubt this will be a fantastic money maker... er blessing maker. SMILE
I was disappointed that the Rapture didn't happen sometime this past week; I figured no one would expect it on the 23rd or 26th, so God could go ahead with it. He must have an even sicker sense of humor than I imagine. And that poor bozo who "predicted" it seemed so earnest; I think it was a stunt to get people to think about it or send him money or both. Damn it!
And I'll take four crosses; do they come in different sizes? I need one baby-size; one kid-size; one normal-size; and one ignite-diesel-on-it-and-frighten-your-neighbors-size (no, I won't be lighting it--you know me better than that).
I'd like to throw the collapsible Star of David ninja-style.
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