Yesterday my family went to the local library. My wife had to drag me kicking and screaming because I don't like to go to places that have books but no coffee. That shit doesn't work for me. The Library at the University of Louisville has a coffee shop inside it so why doesn't our local library have one? I don't get it. All libraries should have coffee shops inside them. Or even better, free fucking coffee. I'd be willing to pay an extra penny a week so that all libraries in Kentucky have coffee. Then maybe I would go more than once every 5 years to skim through dusty old books.
I was wrong to kick and scream though, and it turns out that the local library has something better than a coffee shop. It has a comic book section. I should have known that the comic book section would completely pacify my younger son, Ben.
When we first arrived Ben was very excited and wanted to run and jump on everything. Look, I don't know how to behave in a library so how can I be expected to show my 2 year old how to behave in one. For the first 15 minutes or so I wound up dragging the screaming kid up and down the isles. I tried to sit down in two different places to read Curious George Goes to the Firehouse, but Ben wasn't interested. I felt like a complete and utter failure as a parent and I was ready to split town and leave the burden of raising both kids to my wife.
But then Ben and I just started walking like we were under a hypnotic spell from Zatana and arrived at a wall with comic books. We dropped to the floor and started pulling books off the shelf. I forgot Ben was there and Ben forgot that he was 2. Eventually my wife and older son found where we were and dragged us out of the coffeeless library, because it was time for the kids to get ready for bed. We wound up renting two graphic novels (The Justice Society and The Justice League) under Max's new library card. I'm not giving the books back. Shit, they aint under my name.
So on the way to work last night I had an epiphany... I should take Ben to the comic book store! I know we're gonna have fun there. I wonder how come they don't have coffee at the comic book shop... I guess they know that I'll never boycott so what's the point.