Thursday, May 11, 2006

Welcome to Smallaville

The four most important inventions of the 20th century are as follow. The Television, the VCR, The Internet and the DVD. But of course you know that's how I feel. I could tell you that the two most important things I have ever said to my wife are, that " I love you" and " I'm sorry", but that would be a lie. The most important thing I ever said to my wife is, "Honey, let's watch some TV". Well, that's not entirely true either. More will be revealed.

The Summer solstice began for us, in our fortress of solitude, aka as our two bedroom apartment yesterday. We will spend the next month or so watching Smallville. I have already nailed 7 episodes. This show has had an immediate impact on my chameleon like personality. I just donated all the clothes in my wardrobe that are not red, white or blue to goodwill. I will spend the next couple of weeks eluding to my powers and talking comic book innuendo to my co-workers. A lot of people that know me might assume that I have been doing this most of my life, but not true. I have only begun to give people here in Smallaville, a glimpse into my dual persona.

From time to time I have to put my powers on hiatus, so I can catch up on Television shows, like Smallville. Some of you may worry that the quality of my life might be diminished because I spend so many hours consuming television. Please don't concern yourself with such a foolish notion. How will I ever grow as a person if I stop watching television? What would I possibly have to say? Pass me another beer, and Yep. That would be the extent of my vocabulary. I also have to start going to the gym three or four hours a day, again, so I can have my super physique restored by September.

Besides watching lots of TV this summer, Allyson will be preparing for her new assignment, teaching English 101 at the local university, here in Smallaville. We also are going to be spending a lot of time in the former Garden State, now know as the Bear murder capitol of America. See the Grumbler, for more information about this story. Actually, this is where I get all of my world news.

We will also be spending a week with Ma and Pa, Corky in Provincetown, Massachusetts. Now if I could only use my powers to change Allyson's name to Lois, everything would be perfect in my world.

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