Wednesday, June 14, 2006

"I tell ya, I get no respect"

Sometimes it is customary for a chef or the owner of a Korean restaurant to bring out full bodied fish on a plate, as to show a sign of respect to a patron. As if you didn't know by now, the other night me and a bunch of friends had dinner at a Korean restaurant. After a couple of drinks and lots of great food, all I wanted was a fish. I started to rant about it, but then I decided It would probably be best if I saved my rant for all of you here in Corky land instead.

Do you think the reason they didn't bring us one fish or two might be because I smell like cheese and I'm a round eyed American? Is that an ignorant question? The way I see it we spent like 500 dollars in that joint, and the least they could have done was bring me a fucking fish. My wife suggested that maybe the reason that Corky and company got no fish is because we were drunk and unruly by nights end. Especially the Fry Guy AKA Matt.

In light of my experience at the Korean restaurant, I have come to some conclusions and I have a couple of special requests. I pray that you show me some respect, and I have decided that when I die I want to be buried in a fish tank. I know this sounds a bit morbid, but let's be real here, we are all going to die one day. Also, I would like my tombstone to read, "So long, and thanks for all the fish." You know to bring some levity to others whom might otherwise be mourning. I want you to celebrate my life, goddamn it.

Finally when I arrive at my finall destination I want I AM to greet me at the gates of Heaven, and hopefully he will say to me, "Corky I thoroughly enjoyed reading your log every day. I'm glad someone down there got it. Now here's your fish."

This piece of cod is dedicated to the memory of Rodney Dangerfield, 1921 to 2004.


willSIX said...

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Nice Douglas Adams reference.

Now go get your f*cking shine box!

captain corky said...

I love you too, Obi-Wan lego man.

Tommy DeVito: In this day and age, what the fuck is this world coming to? I can't believe this, prejudice against - a Jew broad - prejudice against Italians.

willSIX said...

I truly believe that "go get your f*cking shinebox" is the greatest putdown in the history of film.

I'm seriously hard pressed to come up with a better one...except of course:

"You green blooded, inhuman- "

the possible said...

Goodfellas, one of my favorite subjects. There are so many classic scenes/lines, but my favorite would have to be when young Tommy meets young Henry and he says, "how ya doin henjry" where in the world does that j sound come from?

captain corky said...

Your commentary on the invisible J had me pissing in my pants possible.

I love the scene where they stick the mail man in the oven. "If this kid receives one more letter from that school". I also have a big hard on for any scene with Joey Carbone and his hair helmet.