Congratulations are in order for New York, Newark New Jersey and Bridgeport Connecticut. Let me be the first one to congratulate you on your achievment, a three way tie for number 9 on the Forbes most polluted cities in America list.
California has the distinction of having the top 5 most polluted cities in America. Have you ever gone into a home depot and bought a tube of caulk or a can of stain killer or even glue? A lot of these products have warning labels on them that say something to the affect of, Warning: this product is known to cause cancer by the state of California. I wonder if they put a similar warning on thier residental drivers licenses out there. Warning: Living in the state of California is known to cause cancer by the state of California. Fucking Hypocrites.
Anyway, that is why my wife and I chose to spend one of our vactaions in the north east. We wanted to see the smog and the pollution for ourselves. Watching shooting starts and seeing clear skies at night gets real old real fast. What better way to see all the congestion then to drive along the senic highways of New Jersey, New York and Connecticut. It seems in our haste to smell the waste we forgot to factor in the cost of emission, and as a result we didn't have any money for tolls.
Every time i reached a new toll booth i would get increasingly angrier. At first i tried throwing a can of Copenhagen down the change basket, but the can was too big. The next thing i tried was throwing ciggaretts at the person in the toll booth as i drove by. Finnaly when i got to the the Tapanzee bridge i confronted one of these toll collecters. This basicly is how our conversation went,
Captain Corky: What are you people doing? Your making me late to Lucia's daughter's birthday party!
Toll Booth Willie: I'm sorry sir, but we have to collect money to pay for these roads.
Captain Corky: Why are you making me spend my hard earned money on carbon monoxide and pot holes? I allready spent 60 bucks on that, this week. I need to be up in Connecticut eating Ice cream cake and driving around town with Reggie and Patsy and Matt. I don't have time for this.
Toll Booth Willie: I'm sorry sir, I only work here, i don't make the ruels.
Captain Corky: Fuck you
Perhaps the next time someone from the east coast expresses disdain for cigarette smoke, I will rip off one of those giant smoke stacks from a factory and point it in their face and ask, "Is this more to your liking?"