Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Today's Idiom

When was the last time you pulled a Foodtown? What exactly is pulling a Foodtown? Well, about half of my life ago, maybe a little longer, I used to work at a grocery store. I was hired as a stock person. My job responsibilities included stocking shelves, um stocking shelves and blocking the aisles (Target uses the more sophisticated term "zoning"). You know, pulling up all the cans and boxes and bottles to make the empty shelves look full.

This job drove me crazy. First of all it sucked. Secondly it sucked, and most of all it sucked. Another problem I had with this job was overstocking the shelves. Suppose the Grocery manager ordered to many cans of Spaghettios with meatballs. This would mean that I would have to put the extra cans in an available space that was designated for something else, like spaghettios with franks, for example. This drove my obsessive mind crazy. Let's not even talk about the pay.

Still, I worked at this job for like a year. It did have some perks. For one, I got to work with the likes of Eric Palmer, Dominic Ianone, and this is where I met the infamous Grimace. Grimace was a bagger. He used to sweep and clean up broken bottles and grunt at people. Also I got to listen to "Silent Morning" every day. I was also very fortunate to meet a coke fiend named Clanky. On Clanky's last day I watched him steal over 400 dollars worth of grocery's. Clanky's performance was brilliant I tell you. He would wait till no one was watching and exit the store with a carriage full of steaks and assorted beefs and chickens. He did this like three times. There was also a procedure for placing dented cans in a chute that actually went outside. He launched tons of cans out through the chute. That was a fun day.

The absolute best perk of this job was that I got to carry a price gun tucked in the back of my belt. I knew I looked cool like this. It's what separated me from the Grimaces. Rob Carvasio looked a lot cooler with his price gun then I did.

After sacrificing one too many Tae Kwon Do test's for this place I finally quit, without notice. There was something very cathartic about quitting a job in this manner, especially since this job sucked so much. Hence the term pulling a foodtown was born. The only drawback to pulling a foodtown was that you had to go back in one last time for your pay check and receive dirty looks from the lifers. As a result I usually don't go back into a place where I had pulled a foodtown for at least a year.

I wonder whatever happened to Clanky.

14 comments:

willSIX said...

I wonder whatever happened to Foodtown.

Do they even still exist? How recent is that picture, I wonder.

what ever did happen to that guy ian? said...

Pulling the foodtown is indeed cathartic and also liberating, empowering, and invigorating. It makes you feel alive to tell them you don't need them and their stupid job anymore. It is best accompanied by tossing the manager the keys to the store or safe. Thanks, Corky. Couldn't have done it without you.

Anonymous said...

the foodtown needs to go in the corktionary, for sure

captain corky said...

Yes they still exist, I saw one when I was on the train the other day, heading to connecticut from New York. Allyson saw it as well.

Keith said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

i forgot all about camp horizons and telling neil he was a cheap bastard. boy, i was some jerk.

willSIX said...

Now, I hate to be the voice of honesty, but I'm pretty sure the Skipper got the axe from Camp H for accidentally lighting it on fire.

I'm not entirely sure that qualifies as pulling a Foodtown.

Also, not to get overly lawyerly on everyone, but we should probably avoid the use of last names of outsiders to the Log. We don't want any unnecessary, er, entanglements as a result of this thing of ours.

captain corky said...

I kind of like your approach to "Pulling a foodtown", a lot better Ian. I wish I could have been there when you gave cheapy cheaperton a piece of your mind.

captain corky said...

A moment I'm very proud of Will. I definity wouldn't classify that as a foodtown, but el-cheapo cheaperton has always been a thorn in my side, but that's a story for another time.

Jim said...

And as always your logic is- indisputable- Mr.- Six.

willSIX said...

I must confess that I, too, felt Cheapy Cheaperton had it coming (I think I like this name for him better).

Verily, he was the cheapest man I have ever dealt with. But, let me tell you, that man could that man sell you on a line a crap stretching from here to Tuskaloosa...and when he was done you'd probably end up thanking him.

The Grumbler said...

he didn't fool me, will. i told it to him straight. also got fired for that.

the story is this:

i was working for him for the agreed upon $.75/day and leaving at 3 or 4 p.m. or whatever. then one day, after i had been working there for about a week, he said: "ian, you have to ride home with camper x and make sure he doesn't kill any co-campers or annoy the driver so much she crashes. you will get home an hour and a half later, and i will pay you no extra money." i did it one day and on the second day, i complained to the bus driver about cheapy cheaperton. she ratted me out to cheapy, and he confronted me the day after. that is when i let him have it.

Kim Jong Ramone said...

Ahhh The Foodtown. I have stopped seeing women with that technique. And so now Karma will make sure I get paid back for it.

TheBirdman33 said...

I have both pulled a Foodtown on a girl and had a girl pull a Foodtown on me, so props to Kim Jong Ramone for putting it in that perspective, cause my comment was going to be that I think I am the only one here that never "pulled a Foodtown"
I may also be the only one (with testicles, to excuse Kim Jong Romone) that never worked at that gay ass camp.
I spent my summers working at my OWN gay ass camp, thank you very much. And mine was started by Tina Mommy so Check and MATE