Thursday, July 06, 2006

Post Pyrotechnic Depression

Freddy: Hello Corky, It's me fred. What did I miss?

Corky: Nothing really Freddy, we just practiced slide side kick.

Freddy: Is Mike mad at me? Tell him I'm sorry. My pain in the ass sister had to go to a swim meet.

Corky: I doubt he noticed Freddy, he was too busy relating the fall of Rome to a side kick.

This is an example of an abbreviated conversation between me and Freddy Flesh circa 1989.

So what did I miss? Sorry I couldn't make it to any of your barbeques but my pain in the ass customer is having a party on Saturday. I had to make sure to get his house ready for him so he could show it off to his pain in the ass relatives and friends. Also, the pain in the ass company that I work for denied my discretionary days because my pain in the ass boss is off this week. I hope you guys aren't mad at me.

I want the goods on Kim Jong Ramone's situation. Also how is Brett and the rest of the gang? Fill me in! And now a little poem I found:

As he watched the smoke dissipate into the night sky
The poor boy started to cry
He knew that tomorrow was the hardest day of the year
He could feel the pain sharpen with each and every tear
The dread of having to clean up the backyard made his heart burn
When oh when will this stupid boy ever learn?
The sight of the war-torn hot dog laying in the dirt, the inedible.
The hardest part was yet to come
His heart pounding harder like the ever clique drum
When he got close enough he closed his eyes
In his usual manner he told himself lies
Next year if they don't finish all the beer
It will be the sound of my baseball bat that will be ringing in their ear

6 comments:

The Apologist said...

At 10:30 in the morning on the 4th, desktop ask Lou and I "do they need me?"

Kid tried to pull a foodtown of the Country's Birthday.

The Grumbler said...

was i there before the first hot dog was eaten at coney island?

The Grumbler said...

i propose adding: "do they need me?" to the corktionary

suggested def: a precursor to the foodtown

willSIX said...

Brett and gang are doing well, Cappy. Your old pal Gilligan was in town as well, with his skinny young son in tow. Had you seen his latest haircut, you would have enjoyed a hearty laugh.

We missed you very much. Come visit sometime. If it will sweeten the pot, I'll even give you some painting to do.

Anonymous said...

hello, USA, do you need me?

captain corky said...

Painting? I love me some painting. Especially in your house Will. It's so clean.

I will definitly be adding the precursor to the Corktionary.