Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Beyonce didn't win at the Golden Globes last night. How do I go on?

Last Friday night Allyson (the hero of our story) wanted me to go see Dreamgirls with her. Here's how our conversation went.

Act I

Allyson: Lets go see Dreamgirls tonight.

Corky: Isn't Beyonce in that?

Allyson: Yes

Corky: Sorry, I don't do Beyonce movies.

Allyson: Fine I'll go with out you.

After thinking about the fact that Allyson (who likes football) was going to put up with essentially 48 hours of non stop football, and the fact that she's pregnant, I decided I'd better go with her to see Dreamgirls.

Act II

In the car

You do realize that Beyonce is in this movie, right?

Allyson: Fuck you Corky!


Walking into the theatre
Corky: (Mumbling under my breath) I can't believe that I'm going to see a Beyonce movie

Allyson: What did you say?

Corky: Nothing dear...

Act IV
The drive home

Corky: That movie was amazing. Eddie Murphy better win an Oscar for his performance.

Allyson: Jenifer Hudson was amazing, Effie White was my favorite character.

Corky: Jamie Fox is incredible in everything he does.

Corky: This musical was 50 times better than Chicago! Not better than Grease 2 but definitely very good.

Corky: (sheepishly) Allyson?

Allyson: Yes, Corky?

Corky: You were right as usual, Dreamgirls was a really good movie.

Allyson: I know Corky

Corky: Can I have an ice cream cone when we get home?

Don't get me wrong, Beyonce is really beautiful. Right after I quit dipping I had a little problem... My salivary glands were still producing an inordinate amount of saliva, and It was hard for me to go out in public because I was drooling on myself constantly. I finally realized that by looking at a picture of Beyonce for a couple of minutes I could drain just enough drool ( about a milk jug's worth) in order to function in society for a couple of hours. Enough time to go to work and get my stuff done etc.

But isn't it just a little more than coincidental that Beyonce was playing a character loosely based on Dianna Ross? Didn't Beyonce take a moment to think about this before she accepted the role of Deena Jones? Dreamgirls paints Dianna Ross in a little more favorable light then what history does but that's Hollywood. We all know the truth Beyonce. I mean Beyonc'e. Damn, I hate when I do that!


RockDog said...

Did you wear your skirt?

Eddie Murphey rules! I hope he wins big from this movie! I may have to see it when it comes out on DVD.

Lady K said...

LOL @ rockdog's comment.

I think it's sweet that you made the sacrifice. I honestly didn't want to see that movie until now...

The Lone Beader said...

Haha!! Did you get an ice cream cone when you got home?? ;)

Dan said...

Can I have an ice cream cone when we get home?

You might have been drooling over Beyonce, but now you have me drooling over ice cream! And it's only 8:30 in the frigging morning!

yas hates beyonce almsot as much as she hates blogger said...

like Lina says in Singin in the rain "Annnn I caaaaannnnt staaaannnd 'em"

eeewww. beyonce. sure i'll see dreamgirls. its a tradition. mommy saw it when it first came out on the stage in LA. I will get to it i promise. unfortuntalely beyonce in it sickens me beyond belief. but i guess if you can get past it... so can i.

alicia said...

Did you LOVE Borat's acceptance speech last night?! Chris and I were both dizzy from laughing.

I haven't seen Dremagirls. I'm spending my free time this month on "Smokin Aces" with Ray Liotta and Jeremy Piven.

captain corky said...

Alicia: I didn't get to watch it, I was at work. I heard about Dreamgirls and other awards on sports talk radio.

Beader: No ice cream :(

Metal Mark said...

I have not been to the movies in about three years.

Life, or Something Like It said...

We went to the movies on the weekend, but we saw Primevil. No wussy chick flicks for us...

Sunshine said...

OMG, YOU are the other Grease 2 fan!! And here I thought I was the only person alive who had Grease 2 on DVD! Corky, please, you must give the eulogy at my funeral because I think you may be the only person bizarre enough to get it right.

Big Pissy said...

I'm so glad you made the ultimate sacrifice and went to the movie with the mother of your unborn child. ;-)

What color was your skirt?

HoosierGirl5 said...

You're a good and obedient husband. I hope you were rewarded.

bardouble29 said...

How sweet to go with the "mama"...we used to have a rule at our house that "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" keep that in mind as the years go on...LOL

Nonny said...

I actually read this post yesterday but then didn't have time to comment. I can see why you'd shy away from a Beyonce movie, her turns in Goldmember and The Pink Panther weren't exactly memorable. I can't believe Dreamgirls is better than Chicago though, I love that movie. Though I'd guarantee it's better than Grease 2-Cool rider!

kat said...

You rock for going to Dreamgirls with your wife.

I heard Eddie Murphy was amazing in it.

Heidi the Hick said...

That conversation was hilarious.

I want to see it too...mostly because I have to know. I just have to know. like you said...did she not read the script first? Did she not know????

I'm sick of her though. I wanna see Jennifer Hudson knock her out!! Singing wise that is.