Friday, January 19, 2007

Here we go again



For those of you that are new to the Log, the early 90's was a pretty rough time period in my life. I was in my early 20's and doing a lot of drinking, drugs and other anti-social behaviors. I was a real miscreant. Don't get me wrong, I had some very wonderful experiences with Acid, but by the end of a very quick run, the life style that I was leading was getting the best of me.

I wound up spending my 21st birthday in a rehab. Can you believe that? Fun loving, beer guzzling Captain Corky not in a bar on his 21st birthday? Yep, life is funny like that. In rehab I spent a lot of time analyzing my behaviors of the past and trying to get to the route cause of why I was using drugs and destroying my life. I wound up staying sober for four years but I never came up with any answers. My life improved a bit, but I still felt very empty inside (therapy terminology). I was lost.

Then one late Summer day sometime during the mid 90's, I was out in a farm in western Maryland with some good friends, and I held aloft a mighty beer can, poured it down my throat, and cried out "By the power of Budweiser", and I was magically transformed into Captain Corky. Born again! Given the choice between feeling dead, and sober the rest of my life or being a drunken slob, and feeling alive, I'll take the liquor every time. But still I didn't have answers to my question.

It's now 1o years later, and let's just say that I have found my answers, and not through the church, a 12 step program, or a Tom Cruise controlled cult. If you are a person who has found your answers through a 12 step program or Church and god, than I am very happy for you. If you've found your answers through a Tom Crusie controlled Cult then your a schmuck!

I've omitted 10 years of testimony from this post in order to keep it shorter. Plus there are lots of elements to that part of my life that I have not yet explored in great detail on this blog. I'm going to save that stuff for a rainy day or as the NFL likes to call it, the off season.
The reason there's pictures of Quarterbacks in this post is because I use them as mile markers for the road map of my life (Corny, I know).

PS. I watched the Bills lose four Super Bowls in a row. Very painful. It still hurts today. In 2000 I moved to Louisville KY, which is only 2 hours from Indianapolis, and I've been watching the Colts week in and week out ever since. This is Peyton's year. I'm reliving my Bills experience vicariously through the Colts. I won't be fooled again. Gulp!

PPS. For all you NFC fans check out this post I wrote before the season started about the Saints.




27 comments:

karma lennon said...

I'm glad you found your answers. I'm still looking for mine and till then I'll drink away. ;)

captain corky said...

I still drink Karma, just not like a fish. :)

Lady K said...

Good for YOU, cork! I'm happy for you! Hangovers are what makes you know you're alive the next day.

Heidi the Hick said...

Corky, you're a brave guy.

I think I would have an addictive personality if I ever let it get out of control. I've been aware of it since my teens. Painfully aware.

I love me a nice beer but I thank God regularly for my low alcohol tolerance cheap drunkiness... I think it keeps me outta trouble!

yasamin says too much said...

oh my god i can post! lol i spent my 21st birthday at home on my ass. the weekend after, i spent it with 30 of my closest aquaintences at a party in central california where i wore clear plexiglass fuck me heels from fredericks of hollywood and danced till i couldnt see straight.

okay i drank till i couldnt see styraight. i danced till i couldnt stand straight. lol then i went back to my hotel room and proceeded to have the worst drunken sex you could imagine it was like a deleted scene from Benny Hill's show. trust me... that bad and hilarious. and just... wrong. hahaha ya know what? i cant even call it sex. it was like "hey look you have a penis! wait!! why's it pointing west instead of north?? That makes no sense! someone get me a camera! you guys have to see this!"

and there went taht. hahaha

um... TMI?

Jay said...

Man, I hope you're not back in rehab after Sunday. But, you know there just is no way that the Colts are going to be the great football God that is Tom Brady. At least that's what I keep hearing.

Steven Novak said...

You might has well have written this in ancient Hebrew Cork.

I have no ide what any of this means. ;)

Steve~

RockDog said...

I'd rather see Manning pull one out of his ass than endure yet another Tom Brady Patriots win.

Alicia said...

Bills = Boy I Love Losing Superbowls.

I feel your pain. I was born in Buffalo, NY at Mercy Hospital! My parents both grew up there... Mom is from Hamburg, and Dad is from Cheektowaga. They moved us to CO in 1985, and never gave up their love for the Bills, until they lost 4 in a row... then they WISELY converted to Bronco's fans.

captain corky said...

Lady K: thanks. I don't need any hangovers any time soon.

Heidi: Thanks for the compliment. I seem to have a very high tolerance for anything that's bad for a person.

Yasamin. Not enough information. I need a little more detail!

Jay: "Man, I hope you're not back in rehab after Sunday".

Funny line dude. It would be funny to watch a person check himself into rehab because the Colts lost.

Steve: Basicly Man. You need to start watching football, you commie!

Rockdog: Ditto!

Alicia: If the Colts win the Super Bowl this year then I'm going to apply for 2008 season tickets when they move to the new stadium. If they don't then fuck-em. I'll jump on a new bad wagon next year.

yasamin is naughty said...

OMG any more detail and you might get flagged!! lol

Kim Jong Ramone said...

I think it is funny that once again Corky's sanity will be determined by a kicker. The legend of Scott Norwood lives forever. That being said I would like to party with Yasamin.

Pixie said...

Glad you got yourself back on track Corky.
A little bit in moderation is quite ok.

Yasamin said...

>:)~

Life, or Something Like It said...

Good for you. I know about addiction firsthand, as most of my relatives are drunks, or worse. (Alcoholics go to meetings). I don't keep alot of booze in the house for that reason. Hubby went through rehab, too, and ain't no walk in the park.

Nonny said...

This was a very interesting post. Brings up alot of my own memories. I also had a pretty major drug/alcohol habit up until I was about 26. I don't talk about it on my site for several reasons of which I won't go into right now. I agree that rehab only works for those with some underlying psychological problem. I wouldn't put myself in that catagory. I did drugs/alcohol because it was a total blast-plain and simple. I did give up the hard drugs. I still smoke pot-daily. I don't hardly drink at all though, I hate hangovers.

Tod said...

I've seen some friends get totally sucked in to all that. I've experimented but it never really got a hold of me thankfully. I'm glad you have got your life together.

Big Pissy said...

Glad you got it all together and you're doing what works for you. :)

Ms. Tuesday said...

i missed the correllation between rehab and quarterbacks...

captain corky said...

Tuesday: "The reason there's pictures of Quarterbacks in this post is because I use them as mile markers for the road map of my life" (Corny, I know).

During the early 90's Jim Kelly was the Quaterback of the Bills and lost 4 superbowls. Today Peyton Manning is the Quaterback of the Colts and has also had his stuggles in the post season. This weekend he is going to get over the hump. I hope that helps you a bit.

The Lone Beader said...

GO PATRIOTS!!!!!!!!!! =:)

Metal Mark said...

I have been a Broncos fan since 1977. I remember the week before Super Bowl 32. I had the flu, but was working a job where I could not take off from work. Just a few days before that Super Bowl my car broke down on my way to work. While standing on the side of the road I thought "surely on top of all of this the Broncos will not lose this Super Bowl". Of course they beat the Packers a few days later. However, unless the Colts offense shows something they have not shown in a while then Patriots are going to win fairly easily.

Anonymous said...

get over the hump? like kelly, tarkenton, marty, and dungy? the colts are doubly cursed, between gayton and dungy. the colts need to hire john gruden if they want to get over the hump.

HoosierGirl5 said...

Wow, the more I learn about you, the more I like you! Everyone has their skeletons. I am impressed that you have evolved so much. Allyson is a lucky girl.

I'm for the Colts and the Bears, by the way.

J.

The Grumbler said...

steve: if you don't understand any of this, it means you have no personality.

corky: if i put a gun to your head and said i would shoot if you picked the games wrong this weekend, who would you take? for me, its bears and pats.

Yasamin said...

GREAT GOOGA MOOGA!!!

are you watchin this game man!?!?!?! oh my god!!! 2nd half just started and i screamed myself hoarse TOUCHDOWN COLTS!!! now all they gotta do is score again and the damned defense needs to step it up!!!

oh my god!

captain corky said...

Fuck Yeah!