Tuesday, January 02, 2007
This morning when I looked out my window as the sun was coming up, I noticed that the parking lot looked exactly the same as it did in 2006. Nothing had changed about it as far as I can tell. Take my truck for example, to my truck it's still 1983. The beast isn't even fuel injected. Corky driving around a vehicle in 2007 that's not fuel injected? That shit's not going to fly this year. Time to either donate the truck to Goodwill or blow it up in a field somewhere. I would really like to blow it up in the parking lot in front of Larry (superintendent) but seeing how it's my New Year's resolution to obey the law I'm going to discard it legally.
Speaking of the law, one that just went into affect in Kentucky yesterday is now they can pull a person over for not wearing a seat belt. I have a hard time believing that a police officer can see clearly enough into a car to determine if a person is wearing a seat belt or not. It's bullshit if you ask me. I do wear my seat belt but not because Kentucky tells me to, but because I value my life. Now I'm going to have to get my windows tinted because I don't need those freaks peering into my window for any reason, let alone to see if I'm wearing my seat belt.
Another thing I'm working on is a new theme for 2007. Last year's theme was 2006 The Year of Corky. That theme seems to work for me every year but I've decided to go in a different direction this year. I might go with 2007 Return of the Guido. House music all year long! Really becoming a Guido again for 2007 is all about wearing ribbed t-shirts from Structure. That means that I'll need to lose a little weight.
Another theme that I've been toying around is the Highway to Heaven model (I don't have a name for it yet). If I let my hair grow out I'm sure I can grow a wonderful top heavy mullet just like Landon's in the pic above. The Birdman can drive me around in a blue Malibu and we'll fix peoples lives. That would be fun and all that selflessness would get me in with the good Lord. There's so much to think about but unfortunately I won't have any time to really address any of these issues until February, after the Super Bowl.
Finally, the 2006 man of the year according to Corky, is Herman Edwards. Through his excellence in coaching the Kansas City Chiefs made the playoffs in 2006. What a way to close out a pretty good year for Captain Corky. Rumor has it that I'm 50 bucks wealthier heading into 2007. That's as good as any way to start a new year I think.