Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Dilemma


I've got a serious problem, and I could really use some sound advise. It's kind of hard to talk about so I'm just going to lay all my cards on the table... On July 13th Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix comes out. Of all the movies that have and are coming out this Summer I want to see this one the most. Even more than Fantastic Four 2. I've already seen Pirates 3 and Spiderman 3, but if I had to choose only one to see this Summer it would be Harry Potter. The big dilemma is that Corky Jr is due on July 10th. Allyson thinks he's going to arrive July 15th (which would be perfect) but I just know it's going to be on July 12th at 11:45 PM. That's just how my life works.

I'll be standing in line for the new Potter flick and BAM! Allyson's water will break. When this happens do you think Allyson will get mad if I call her a cab and meet her at the Hospital 2 and half hours late? I just can't miss this fucking movie. I just can't. Plus, there will be plenty of time between her water breaking and Corky Jr being born. Worst case Scenario: Allyson's mother video tapes it, and I watch the birth of my first child on DVD. Nothing wrong with that. I watch Star Trek on DVD all the time!

If she has Corky Jr before July 12th then I'm going to have to wait till it comes out on Video. Luckily I have some major connections in Vietnam and I'll only have to wait a week. There's a pretty healthy Vietnamese community here in Louisville so I'm sure I'll be able to find someone to translate the movie for me. But still, Id rather not go that root. What do you guys think?

Dilemma number 2 was solved by Sunshine a couple of days ago when she asked me to guest post on her blog while she's out of town later this month. I said that I would, and she told me that she would return the favor. This is great! Here's how it will work: 1. Allyson's water breaks. 2. I page Sunshine to let her know that I will need a guest post immediately. Maybe some stories about the birth of her kids. 3. Once we have that situation secure then I will contact the doctor and the hospital to let them know that the Corky Jr express is on it's way. Simple as pie. In the meantime you should spend some time getting acquainted with Sunshine today. She wrote two post's today and is in the middle of painting her basement.



44 comments:

Sunshine said...

Hey, I was thinking I'd have to cross my legs to keep kid #2 in there until the Seinfeld Series finale had come and gone! I wasn't going to miss that!

If you're detained, perhaps I can sneak a laptop into the theater and liveblog the movie for you....

karma lennon said...

Hmmmm....maybe she'll understand. I mean it is Harry Potter after all.

Dan said...

Wow! So "water breaks" isn't a good enough reason to skip a post?

You are some dedicated blogger.

when I have to pass water I use that as excuse to skip several days. :)

Pink said...

well...i reckon that no baby is ever delivered before the final credits (unless its a bollywood film - those are seriously LONG) and I'd have to say that watching it on DVD isn't such a bad thing - I mean you ARE after all, a movie buff.
xx
pinks

Fridaysweb said...

Have you begun talking to the baby, yet? You know, rub the Mrs.'s tummy, talk to the baby, sing, whatever... It is time. You and Jr. need to have "the talk". Yes, in utero. You MUST explain, in depth, just how important he is to you. You also MUST explain, that it's so much cooler in Mommy's tummy, that it really IS to his benefit to stay in there until after the premier. Other than that, I have no suggestions. If you decide to ditch the Mrs. + Jr. for Potter, though, find a really good divorce lawyer. It'd suck to lose the captain's chair. It's just so damn cool!

kat said...

I think you are basically screwed. I've never had a baby but I think if I was in labor and my husband went off to watch some movie I'd kick his ass.

I'm just saying.

Big Pissy said...

Please have someone take a picture of the expression on Allyson's face when you tell her of your plan.

Thank you.

Heidi the Hick said...

pfff! I like the comment above!!!

Dude, man. Seriously. Have you got a babysitter yet? You need an Allyson sitter. You call the Allysonsitter to take care of mommy while you sneak out for two and a half hours. Then get your ass home and wash dishes and do three loads of laundry. It'll all be okay.

However missing the birth for any other reason than death is like, not cool. Exception: she bellows at you to get the hell out. Then the movie's up for grabs!

erika said...

corky -
so here's my plan. you call me the second the labor begins. If it's on the dreaded 12th, I'll rush down to louisville, make a quick stop at the hospital, run by your apartment to pick up the video camera and promptly buy a ticket for the movie, sitting in the back row as i expertly tape the movie. i'll need extra batteries and plenty of tape, but it'll be great - better than the movie itself. then it'll be waiting for you at home.
what do ya think?

Chucky said...

There are a lot of movies I want to watch this summer.

Beefcake Almighty said...

Bear in mind, you don't have to see this movie on opening day. It's usually better if you wait a few days after all the psychos have been to see it.

By psycho's, of course, I mean the type of people who dress as characters in the movie when they go to see the movie.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

If you're going the natural childbirth route she could just have it in the theatre if it wasn't for all that screaming involved.

Gina said...

Yeah, you know, labor can last a reaaalllly long time with some women. What's a mere two or three hours? Or better yet, just pick a hospital to deliver in that has a movie theater across the street!

And that Sunshine, she's a peach.

Jay said...

If she has the baby before July 12 then a couple of days later just tell her you are going to run to the grocery store and then go buy some toys for the kid. Then you can just go to the movie. On your way home stop at a 7-11. Grab a bag of Doritos, a 6-pack, and some cheap little plastic toy for Corky Jr.

I think it'll work dude.

erika said...

hey corky -
I was looking for something else and i stumbled upon this:
Harry Potter 5 Moved Up Two Days!
Source: Warner Bros. Pictures May 29, 2007
ComingSoon.net has learned that Warner Bros. Pictures has moved up Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix two days, from Friday, July 13 to Wednesday, July 11. This will give the movie a potential big five-day opening, from Wednesday through Sunday.

Just thought you'd be interested. Not sure if it's totally reliable, but it shows hope....

TheBirdman33 said...

#1
How do you expect me to be godfather and NOT ask me to take care of your blog while you are taking care of family business?!?!


No offense Sunshine, I am a big fan
=)

TheBirdman33 said...

#2
I am a problem solver, I can go to Manhattan three days before the movie comes out and get it on DVD and overnight it to you via FED EX
(brown can do NOTHING for me)
and you and Allyson can watch it in between water breaking and the birth of Baby Bird ( once I do all of this for you, you will both agree that is a much better name)

eric said...

i guess i'll have to imagine "revenge of the sith" or "superman returns" to know what you're talking about.

Lady K said...

I'm REALLY glad I'm not Allyson right now, Cork. Then again, better to be watching Harry Potter than to be told, "YOU DID THIS TO ME, FUCKER!"

You BETTER be there. And I DON'T mean for the fucking movie, dickhead! LOL!!!

captain corky said...

Sunshine: I completely understand that. Sienfeld is one of the greatest shows in the history of television.

Karma: My wife is a very, very understanding woman, but this time I think I'm S.O.L.

Dan: Here at Corky's log we understand the needs of our reader. The show must go on!!!

Pinks: I'm definitely going to tape part of it. Basically when the doctor hands Corky Jr to my wife or maybe right after. I bought a very nice camera for so I can videotape some of Jr's life.

Fridaysweb: Very sound advise. I would hate to lose the chair. ;) Thanks for stopping by and welcome to the family.

captain corky said...

Chucky: It's looking to be a good Summer for movies.

Beefcake: I usually wait, but I like watching the crowds reaction to certain movies. I went to all 3 Star Wars movies on opening day. And it was well worth it. Especially during attack of the Clones when Yoda ignited his light saber.

Jay: Great plan except Allyson would know I was up to something when I only came home with one toy. I can't control myself in a toy store.

Whim: No natural child birth for us. More drugs please. ;)

Gina: That's a good idea but it might be too late. I should have planned the whole doctor and hospital thing better. ;)

Yeah, that Sunshine is something special!

captain corky said...

Kat: I think you're right! ;)

Pissy: I didn't really catch her expression but as soon as I was finished reading this post to her a knife flew by me and grazed me ear.

Heidi: "However missing the birth for any other reason than death is like, not cool".

Words that I'm going to live by for the next month and or so. ;)

Erika: Sweet. Warner Bros must have gotten my letter expressing my issue.

Birdman: Of course I want you to help take care of the log while I'm gone. But we still want a guest post from Sunshine.

LOL at Baby Bird.

Eric: You had to wait to see Revenge of the Sith? I'm humbled and bow before you.

Lady K: LOL! You always say the sweetest things.

Ms. Tuesday said...

If Birdman's attempt in NYC fails... I know a guy. Fer'serius.

But I have full faith that Alyson will be able to hold out until the cedits. I mean, ya know, cuz that what a GOOD woman would do...

Lady K said...

cork ~ I try...I really do.

Sunshine said...

Birdman - no offense taken, if she's in labor for two days, we'll both have to guest post.

And perhaps Corky should name the baby Voldemort.

RockDog said...

Are you trying to tell me that you can only watch a movie at the theatre on the day it is released?

If so, we may need to look further into this quirk...

The Lone Beader said...

Wow! Guest posting on someone else's blog.. that is BRILLIANT! I will have to think of who might be able to do that for me sometime....hmmm....Sounds interesting.... LOL.

Blancodeviosa said...

oh, yeah, i am sure allyson will understand

*pause*


NOT!!!

Jenny! said...

If the babies born early, why can't you see the movie??? I can see it for you b/c I have a Harry Potter boner and will fill you in! I can even tape an inturprative dance of the movie and YouTube it for you!

furiousBall said...

this is your dilema? i'm going to beat you with a fat albert big red wiffle ball bat.

Metal Mark said...

I understand how you are feeling. When we found out the due date for our second child my wife was fine, but my jaw hit the floor. She asked why and my eyes probably almost popped out of my head and I said something like "that's the day of the Super Bowl". Now keep in mind that my first child came on her due date so that really added to my fear. Fortunately the disaster was averted and my son was born weeks early and it was on a weekday so it didn't interfere with the playoff schedule.

Alicia said...

Goog God, man...
A woman's first baby could take SEVERAL hours of labor!
Me personally... I was in labor for 7 hours... plenty of time to watch a Harry Potter flick.

Though, you might be the only adult in the theater. Those are kiddy shows, bucko!

captain corky said...

Ms. Tuesday: If she knows what's good for her she will. I mean I love you Allyson. Can I bring you another pillow dear?

Lady K: I know you do. ;)

Sunshine. There are too many letters in Voldemort. Let's shorten it to something like...Vader.

Rockdog: Sometimes I can wait a day or two, but usually only after I've been heavily sedated.

Beader: Sunshine's having all sorts of guest bloggers soon. It's a good idea and makes a lot of sense really.

captain corky said...

Blancodeviosa: Welcome back sister! How was your trip?

Jenny: Is it rude to take a day three newborn to the movies? I hope not.

Furiousball. Well, I do have a few others...

Mark: Somebody up there must really love you. The plan is to have all of my kids born in the Summer now.

Alicia: Several hours? What am I going to do with myself for several hours? ;)

Have you seen the last two? They get better and better every time.

Webmiztris said...

"What do you guys think?"

I think if you watch the birth on DVD, you'll be six feet underground by the end of the month. LOL

Jacqueline said...

Why don't you wait until all your children are born, and then just watch the whole DVD collection (of your children being born that is)... That way you don't have to miss any movies!! LOL

too lazy to log in, Aunt Jackie

Sunshine said...

I want that t-shirt that says "Vader was framed", have you seen it??? Awesome.

Sarah said...

hahahaha what a dilemma, I think Corky Jr will understand it one day!

Cindy-Lou said...

Find someone who looks like you to fill in at the hospital. She'll be so doped up she won't even know! See, I'm brilliant.

captain corky said...

Webmiztris: I think you may be right. We definitely don't want that. ;)

Jacqueline: That's not a bad idea at all. Along with their births I can watch there weddings and high school graduations on DVD and never have to leave my home. LOL

Sunshine: I've never seen it. I'm going to have to hunt it down on google images a little later.

Sarah: I'm sure he will too. ;)

Cindy-lou: A stand in... That is a brilliant idea!

Jenny! said...

I would assume the Corky Jr. would stay home with mommmy...can't you enjoy movies on your own??? Or is the wife a HP dork too...then she would just be pissed at you!

Anonymous said...

El Capitan, congrats on up coming Jr.......let me verify something....if water breaks while in line at movie.....will have to catch the birth or the movie on video later?....hey, give Aunt Jackie and Jinks a shot at training.....it'll keep em off my back....literally....Carl.

David said...

Hey, I missed the birth of my firstborn because of a "mandatory orientation" at a new job. I quit that job in less than a year. I think part of it had to do with them not letting me go to Alaska to see her born like my wife did (my firstborn is adopted). So, I guess you can see where I stand.

On the other hand, it is Harry Potter!

Tarrie said...

When I was in labor, the anesthesiologist gave me an epidural and told me to take a nap for a few hours. I couldn't sleep but hubby snoozed, no problem. A few hours later the nurse came in and told me that she could see the baby's head and I was ready to push.

I hollered to DH that its time to wake up. He mumbled and started to move. I had to ask him two more times before he sat up in the hide-a-bed and concentrated on getting out of bed.

He really is a nice guy but the nurse probably thought he was a jerk because he wasn't more anxious to wake up. He is a deep sleeper and has trouble getting up every morning. Don't get me wrong: At the time, I was quite irritated about it. It was embarrassing.