Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Adventures of Captain Corky and Kid Corky...


I've been up all morning trying to decide what kind of Superheroes Kid Corky and I should become when he gets a little older. Don't kid yourselves, this is important work folks! It's not easy scouring the Internet at close to light speed in between feedings and diaper changes.

Powers:
One thing I know for sure is that we're going to have a power that propels us forward faster than walking or jogging does, and fuck relying on a car! I rely on a Mercury Sable to get me to work sometimes and I think the piece of shit needs a new alternator. Remind me to take care of that later... Much later. I'm busy right now.

Uniform:
I also have to consider what kind of uniform we should have. (I'm uncomfortable with the term "costume") I do like the color red on me and it looks good on Kid Corky too. Plus, by the time Kid Corky is ready to bust some heads with me I should be in much better shape to fill out my uniform. Just for today though, I'm going to put Splenda in my tea instead of sugar. Oh yeah... gold and black looks really good on me too. I'll just have to see how those colors look on Kid Corky later. A blue shirt with black pants my work better for him considering the fact that he has brown hair and brown eyes.

Motivation:
Obviously my motivation for becoming a Superhero is because I have an overwhelmingly strong sense of responsibility for the human race(Exactly the same reason why I blog). Other Superheroes with this motivation include Superman, Cyclops and Captain America (Regardless of what you're thinking, I've never, ever played a roll playing game before...). Kid Corky is young so his motivation will be more of a sense of adventure. Robin, and Kid Flash have this motivation, for example.

Base of Operations:
I highly doubt that our base of operations is going to be on the outskirts of Louisville Kentucky. I don't have anything against this town or state, but what kind of Superhero operates in a city that doesn't have a pro football team? We'd be the laughing stock of any superhero team we tried to join. Nobody laughs at Captain Corky or Kid Corky.

NOBODY!!!
To be continued another day...

68 comments:

Burfica said...

You could be super hero's like my son made up.

We were going up to the mountain to go pinon picking. Him and his best friend in the back seat, when we hear.

IT'S THE ADVENTURES OF UNDERWEAR MAN AND PANTYHOSE LAD!!!

Yup...just makes a mama proud.

Other super hero's made up have been Fart Man and Belch Boy.

The Artist formerly Known as Purpleworms (!) said...

Flash is good - especially if you want an older or younger version - but of course you need to invent your ownpersonas (probably more kin dto do after the young one is a tiny bit older and shows more of his personality) Nonetheless you could start costume design - and I say why not Louisville - I don't remember any of the superheroes that I like having been retired fullbacks or anything unless you think Superheroes are there to be antidotes to football teams. I always liked the scrawny, disaffected heroes anyway - Peter Parker, Silver surfer (I know I know - not DC) Green Lantern, Batman .. (okay I know none of those are scrawny. The Flash was my favorite DC guy.

Jenny! said...

If you want to have a whole legion of superheros behind you...i will volunteer my son up for your super cool squad!

Sunshine said...

Yeah, be like Justice League and include other budding young superheroes.

But, tights are a must.

Jay said...

Man, being a parent is no picnic dude. You are dealing with some pretty heavy issues there. I totally agree that you have to be based in a city with an NFL team. You just won't get the necessary respect otherwise.

Christie said...

Our family has claimed Superman and Wonder Woman, so step off, sir. I may not have the body for the outfit, but I have the jubblies to fill it up.

Alicia said...

Sounds like you've got a lot to think about, Cap'n.

Go easy on the Splenda.
My former co-worker calls it Spppppppplenda because it gave her the runs.

Ewwww.
Runs.
:(

honkeie2 said...

Love the plan but the outfits need some adjusting. Lets just say the crotch area of 'kid' has got me a little sacred.
Ace and Gary had something like this:
Ace and Gary

Sarah said...

When considering your costume I think red will make you look like you are moving faster and since your power is about moving faster i think this is a good combination!

As far as base of operations you are thinking far to inside the box. Future super heroes will no longer have an physical place of location, they will more likely have one online (everything else is moving to the web) I think you need to conisder your blog as a base of operations, it makes you easy to contact but not easy to find.

Also, have youi figured out who your arch nemesis will be????

Terri said...

Detroit could use a pair of good superheros; you know with all our crime and terrible football playing. Yeah, we need the help.

fiwa said...

I'd go for black with yellow accents. The black denotes power and strength, balanced by the zeal-for-justice-yellow. Oh, and go for boots, boots are cool.

Emmeline said...

I love it. Thanks for the laugh!

Canadian flake said...

I think I should warn you...once corky jr is about 14 he is gonna HATE everything you love...just because that is what he is supposed to do. He might even refuse to watch Star Trek with ya...but hang tight...in his 20's he will see the error of his ways and learn how to speak vulcan to please you....lmao.

willSIX said...

Oh, I don't know why you are even persisting in this pointless facade, Skip. You and I both know that your costumes will look exactly like this.

However, I hope and pray that neither of you end up like this.

Man alive is Captain Marvel gay. Seriously. Totally gay.

Nancy said...

What a team ... you are going to be a fun dad!

Spandex is a MUST, fabric of Superheros!

Blancodeviosa said...

Banjo Man and the Whittling Kid ;)



Don't hurt me...

leslie said...

Black with silver thread lamme, silver accents, some wing-ed things on the ankles, and Segways! Base of operations, Chrome, New Jersey. Motivation...Survival!

furiousBall said...

You gotta plan out the batcave, secret hideout for you guys which better have foosball for when furiousBall, the angry blue bowling ball comes to visit.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Dude, have you seen the Legion of Superheroes lately? You could get some good ideas for superheroes from there.

And not to be crude or anything, but the Kid Flash doll has a huge package.

The Lone Beader said...

And, nobody should have a reason to laugh.... afterall, you are superheroes with SUPERpowers! :)

her indoors said...

black satin and oops sorry guess i am on the wrong super man track!

neroli said...

darnit, Cork, you need to get up and go for a walk---your page comes up, I see those action figures, and I lose it.

Sign me up for your pool of deputies; the motivational goals of Kid and Captain are mine as well.
(That's why I work in public ed---and you all thought it was for recognition or the generous pay scale, didn't you!? {:-)
What's the Cork signal?
I'll be there.

Ashley said...

Are we sure one of the guys in the picture isn't a woman? One has an enormous package and the other doesn't at all. That's all I'm saying.

Watcha talking Willis would be an appropriate response to this!

Alekx said...

my hubbys super power is the fart-a-nator so you can't have that one.
I'm just saying.

RockDog said...

Maybe one of the ladies can help you pick out a costume. LOL! kidding! Dude, black on black with silver boots and a red cape! Personally, I'd alos go with a silver thong, but thats just me. I'm flashy like that. Oh, and metal studs somewhere...maybe a metal studded cod piece...

TheBirdman33 said...

If Max thinks he is taking my place as trusty sidekick, he has another thing coming.

I will nleash a whole can of whoop ass!!!

Peggy said...

You've seen The Incredibles, right?

There is a health and safety factor that comes along with capes. Skip the capes, especially if you've got the power to fly. It only looks good on paper. Batman got away with his most excellent cape because he didn't fly. Robin's cape was laughable.

We have the what-superpowers-would-you-have conversation a lot here. I have decided that mine are: fly (naturally) and be able to be underwater for an unlimited amount of time with no decompression needed.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

They all sound like good ideas but I'd like to make one suggestion; no capes. I think they look silly, have no real function, they could get hung up on things, and are so last century.

jAMiE said...

Corky...you are too much, you keep me laughing and that's why i keep coming back...thank you for that!

captain corky said...

Burfica: Belch Boy's a good one. Gas boy would be an appropriate name too for Max. ;)

AFKAPW: I like Both DC and Marvel, but as you know I like DC better. I've always been a big team book guy and I love the JLA, Legion of Super Heroes,The JSA, and even the X-Men. You make a very valid point about the football thing. We're going to have to rethink our position. ;)

Jenny: Of course your son can join! We're always looking for new recruits. ;)

Sunshine: What kind of example would I be setting to other super heroes out there if I didn't wear tights? ;)

Jay: It's not! Everyday I have to deal with the possibility that Kid Corky might now like comic books when he gets older. It scares the shit out of me!

captain corky said...

Christie: I love me a good pair of jubblies. ;)

Alicia: Don't worry... The diet I'm on makes me constipated. Maybe Splenda will be the great equalizer. ;)

Honkeie2: LOL. We'll work on the outfits.

Sarah: You make a lot of sense. I think I'm going to have to add a telephone poll to my side bar so I have a place where I can change fast when I need to.

PS I know a few assholes that would make great arch villains. ;)

Terri: Detroit could definitly use some help. I may have to consider it. Can you imagine actually waking up one Thanksgiving morning and being excited for Football?

captain corky said...

Fiwa: I think we might have to take you on as our fashion consultant. Sounds good. ;)

Emmeline: Your welcome. :) And I promise I'm not really this big of a freak...

Canadian Flake: It took me to when I was in my 30's with my parents, but of course I have blinders and can't see anything except how perfect my child is. ;)

Willsix: I don't know how I fucked this up, but how did I miss the name Captain Corky Jr? Allyson's middle name is Marie... That means things should work like this for the Corky Family: Captain Corky, Marie Corky, and Captain Corky Jr. We still need to find a talking Tiger, but thanks for opening my eyes.

LOL at the second picture!

Nancy: Of course we're going to wear spandex, but the first person that wears leg warmer will be executed on sight.

captain corky said...

Blancodeviosa: LOL! How about we make our base of operations either a porch or the deep woods. ;)

Leslie: What kind of powers? New Jersey's kind of expensive to be a superhero. We work for free. Just like we blog for free. ;)

Furiousball: We gotta set up a padded room for you so you don't break any bones while you're here. ;)

[Cherry] Ride: I tivo it every Saturday morning at 10:30. Yep. 36 years old and this is the shit I'm still watching. LOL

PS This is what I'm getting you for your birthday,

http://www.dccomics.com/dcdirect/popup_images.php?i=3141

Beader: Exactly! We can kick some serious ass if need be. ;)

captain corky said...

Her Indoors: We keep black satin sheets in the bedroom for when Wonder Woman comes to visit. ;)

Neroli: I did go for a walk yesterday... I took the garbage out. Both bags. ;)

Ashley: I try not to notice things like that, after all I'm just a big Boy Scout. Wait a minute...

Alekx: It's all his. And besides, I always smell like a rose. ;)

Rockdog: Does the Thong say Rockdog on it? That's a must. LOL

captain corky said...

Birdman: Even better, we're promoting you to full fledge Superhero. 33 years as sidekick is long enough. I hear Tom Gigllio is looking for a mentor. LOL

Peggy: I was incredibly impressed with the amount of research the writers did for that movie. That's part of what made it so good!!!

We definitely have a need and a spot for you on our team. ;)

Whim: It's touch to pass up on the capes, but I think you have sound advise. Captain Corky does not want to look out dated, that's for sure. ;)

Jamie: Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad I can make you a little happy. Plus, there's always a place for a hero with wings on her back. ;)

karma lennon said...

Sounds like your superhero plans are well under way!

Debs said...

Can't wait to see what more you come up with.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

seems to me you have it figured out..but, what happens if the gassie one decides to run to the dark side, and say, play tennis over watching a football game?
Holy batmobile Batman, you have a pickle to deal with..
Always,
Crusty~
cute posting, happy friday.

Jenny! said...

I am pretty handy (not really) but I could volunteer to make your costumes...I would make yours extra tight in the crotch!

Gina said...

I am having just as much fun with your comment section as with the post itself!

I think what color your uniforms should be depends on if you really want to stand out.

How's about green and blue, in an homage to the Green Lantern? Even though he could be felled by a banana-suit man, lots of people dig him.

captain corky said...

Karma: So are my plans for world domination. ;)

Debs: Fear not! I've got plenty more nonsense in the back of my head. ;)

Crusty: I have no idea how I'll handle that Crusty. Lot's of therapy I suppose. ;)

Jenny: LOL I don't want to be too offensive though. Plus, I what happens if the north wind blusters and blows to hard?

Gina: Banana suit man is a serious fucking super villain. Do not mock him!

PS when do we get our pic Invisible Woman?

Aunt Jackie said...

It's time for Full Frontal Friday again, don't miss it ;)

her indoors said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

get the blak satin sheets on the bed i am on my way love from Wonder Woman!

Cindy-Lou said...

I laugh at Captain Corky, but never Kid Corky.

leslie said...

Captain, Segway = powers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Segway And Chrome, NJ is probably low rent.

Tink said...

I always thought a perfect entrance to a secret hideout would be in a dumpster. Who would look there?? Of course, that would mean your costu- er, uniforms would have to have built in gas masks.

Pink said...

Hmm...How bout Krispy Kreme Kid? Now thats a superhero I can get a big behind from.
xx
pinks

Jenny! said...

Oh, forgot that the kids will need a costume too...never mind...I don'tthink the costume I would make for you would be appropriate in front of the children!

captain corky said...

Aunt Jackie: I love me some Full Frontal Friday.

Wonder Woman: Wa, wa, wa....

Cindy-lou: Are you my Arc Nemesis?

Leslie: Where would any of us be without Wikipedia? It's opened my eyes to the entire world ;)

Tink: That's not a bad idea. Anytime we need to make a quick exit we can just jump in a trash can.

captain corky said...

Pink: Krispy Kreme melts in your mouth and melts in your hands, but so good. Especially when they turn the fresh donuts sign on. Yum!

Jenny: So no bare ass chaps, got it!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

hey captain, we're all having a coffee break together in the blog world-well, just soul and I..you have a newborn, so you're prolly up.
join us!
Always,
Crusty~

gawilli said...

Willi's mom tells me that when he was a kid he would take all of his different hats and lay them on a floor in a circle. Then he would stand in the middle, close his eyes, and slowly turn around and then stop. He would don whichever hat he was facing when he stopped and that would be his character for the day. Some days it was Jesse James and some days it was Wyatt Earp. Then some days it might be Robin Hood or Captain Hook. You might want to give that a try!

kat said...

Wow Corky 2.0 sounds like he's already got his future already planned out. Are you sure you didn't have this kid so you could have an excuse to wear a red cape?

Lady K said...

You are too cute! I promise not to laugh no matter what colors you decide on.

Pixie said...

LOL, the point is are you going to be posting the photo of you in said costume ?

Canadian flake said...

hee hee I posted something tonight that I hope you like...check it out when ya get a chance...lmao.

The Adult in Question said...

Well thats a lot to think about. I can't wait to hear what you decide.

the suit case said...

excuse me! I do believe that your uniform dezigner has already created an outfit. Blue is subtle and will blend in the evning, night or dawn. Your on you own in the bright of day.

Cheryl said...

I really like the idea of a super power to propel us forward. I'm so sick of traffic. I'd like to *whoosh*, and be there.

Queen of Dysfunction said...

What? No cape?

Pud said...

LOL! Too funny! Your kid is going to be just as warped as you are. AWESOME!

eric313 said...

You know, you could have several alter egos. Blogging at the speed of light, or changing diapers in seconds before the smell poisons the world's atmosphere (not--we're already doing that, and there's not much stopping it).

Glad you're on our side! My secret power? To be the only man awake after my brother's bachelor party. Twenty snoring buffoons laying in the floor, and one typing buffoon who just won't sleep.

Blogging is uber important.

captain corky said...

Crustybeef: Enjoyed the coffee yesterday morning! I liked it so much that I'm having another cup or two this morning. :)

Gawilli: That sounds like a great system! We're going to have to try it someday in the near future. ;)

Kat: (with a nervous twitch) Of course not Kat...

Lady K: I know you've always got my back K. ;)

Pixie: Maybe in a couple of years for Halloween, but first I have a couple of pounds to lose. :)

captain corky said...

Canadian Flake: Great Post!!!

The Adult in Question: The wheels are always turning in my head, just not always in the same direction. LOL

Suit Case: During the day I'll dress like Clark Kent. No one will notice. ;)

Cheryl: Traffic sucks. That's why I live in Louisville now. We don't believe in traffic out here.

Queen: We're still tinkering with the final design. I think Captain Corky has to have a cape.

captain corky said...

Pud: I hope so. :) With just a smidgen more of his mom's brain power. LOL

Eric313: I'm very impressed. There's always a place at my table for the last man standing!

Metal Mark said...

How old does he have to be before he get's to drop the "kid" in his name? I always thought the old Teen Titans were weird because they looked like they were in their 20's, but were still treated like children.

eric said...

go with flash. he was always so cool, especially when one of the reboots about 20 years ago had him delivering a heart and needing to eat 80 cheeseburgers and hour.

be careful on the kid flash comman. bad things happen flash sr. if you do go that route, make sure to slice off the top of mask so you can see his floppy hair.