Sunday, August 19, 2007

Membership



I selected this picture of the original Green Lantern (painted by Alex Ross) for my dear friend Gina. This Green Lantern first appeared in 1940 in issue 16 of All-American Comics. This is actually Captain Corky's favorite version of Green Lantern and his ring works perfectly fine on the color yellow. It's just worthless against anything made from wood. People always tell me that I'm the spitting image of this guy.

Green Lantern is a founding member of the Justice Society of America (Winter 1940). The JSA is the first Superhero team in comics. Without the Justice Society I'm probably talking about porn in this post. One of the neat things about reading All Star Comics is that you could become a member of the Justice Society of America Fan Club and receive all sorts of neat things. And if the Justice Society and Little Orphan Annie and all those other characters from yesteryear have fan clubs than why on Earth doesn't Captain Corky have a fan club for his readers yet?

Everybody who reads the log is considered to be a Basic Member of the Captain Corky Fan Club, as long as you want to be of course . As a Basic Member you're entitled to link Corky's log to your website, leave comments on Corky's posts and even dedicate entire posts to Captain Corky like Canadian Flake did on Saturday (Very cool post!). Also, you can email the mighty Captain at corkyhimself@aol.com and more than likely you'll get a direct response from Captain Corky himself.

Next we offer a Premium Membership to the Captain Corky Fan Club for the minuscule amount of $30.99 a month. Premium members are entitled to all of the benefits that basic members get and so much more. Since you've made the upgrade in membership, Corky will call you on the telephone once a month and we can talk about whatever you want, even sex. ;)
You will also receive an autographed framed picture of Captain Corky that you can put on your desk at work or on your beautiful coffee table at home. And as a bonus if you sign up for a Premium Membership during our back to school special, Captain Corky will even write a guest post for your blog. Special offer applies only on Tuesday's, Thursday's and some Saturday's and expires on September 6th 2007.

And if that's not enough Corky for you, we offer a Lifetime Membership to the Captain Corky Fan Club for the modest fee of 1000 dollars. With this package you get everything a Basic and Premium Member gets plus, Corky will go to your high school reunion with you (Please note: All expenses will be covered by you). That's right ladies, Corky will pose as your husband/boyfriend, and you can leave the poor slob at home on the couch with his beer and pizza. And if you're a dude Corky will go with you to a football game and you can feel cool for the first time in your life (Please note: Nothing higher than the 100 section please, Corky gets nose bleeds if he's too high up).

So what are you waiting for? Join Now!





73 comments:

Beefcake Almighty said...

So long as I get to be called "Prometheus, The God Of Biscuits", then I'll join.

I don't think I've told you this yet or not (memory is a little hazy) but congrats on becoming a daddy.

Biddie said...

You know...I just..Good grief. I am speechless again. Your ego knows NO bounds.
SIGH.

I get to be president of the fan club.

Canadian flake said...

Ok corky baby you KNOW I live to be a member of your fan club. You are my trekkie "god" ..you are well versed on all "trek" episodes, you're sexy and ya make good lookin babies(although I have to wonder if maybe the wife has more to do with that??..lmao)

Anyway, ya know I luves ya and you are the first blogger that I have dedicated an entire post to and about...

If that doesn't get me a lifetime membership, I don't know what does...lmao.

ALL HAIL CAPTAIN CORKY...ALL HAIL CAPTAIN CORKY...

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Do I get a membership card with my name on it? Because no club is complete without a membership card.

jAMiE said...

Who'd be crazy enough to not join... sign me up!

The Lone Beader said...

Ha!

I took one of those online quizzes once to find out which superhero I am, and I am Green Lantern:)

her indoors said...

have set up a direct debit for 1000 dollars, so lets see right i am booking you for every Sunday for the next month ok!? ps can Max come to, if not i am cancelling the said direct debit!

Lady K said...

I'm totally changing the subject here, but I caught an old episode of Star Trek on network TV Saturday night (I can't remember the title, but Scottie was accused of murder). Of COURSE, I thought of you.

Does this give me a discount to the premium membership to the fan club?

captain corky said...

Prometheus: Thanks man. nice to see you back in action.

Biddie: On the contrary my ego is F R A G I L E, and of course you get to be the President.

Canadian Flake: Allyson only had about 99 percent to do with Max's cuteness. And any woman who admits that Kirk is her favorite Star Trek character is awarded with a free Lifetime Membership to the Captain Corky Fan Club. Welcome aboard.

Queen: Not only do you get a membership card, but we'll even have it laminated for you. ;)

Jamie: Excellent point! Consider yourself signed.

captain corky said...

Beader: You must have very strong willpower. That's the true mark of a Green Lantern. ;)

Her Indoors: Max and I will see you next Sunday, and I promise to wear the yellow shirt that you love so much. ;)

Lady K: Great episode. Turn out to be Jack the Ripper, not Scotty.

Watching Star Trek on a Saturday night gets you a 50 percent month discount. ;)

HoosierGirl5 said...

I am scraping up change for the $30.99 membership. I can't wait for my sex phone call!! (giggling with glee) How much to meet me on Dixie Highway in one of those pay-by-the-hour motels?

J.

Sunshine said...

In a hypothetical conversation about which superhero you think is hot or would want to do, etc. Mine was Green Lantern. He's the one one that my cartoon self would have sex with, totally.

Pink said...

I'm not joining.

I have my own alternative Corky and Kid Kreme fan club.

('in my mind')

xx
weirdopinko

The Artist formerly Known as Purpleworms (!) said...

Yeah, those were the days! I wonder why yellow became the new wood. Yellow perile? Yellow jouranlism? Yellow (not courageous) villains? There were Green and yellow kryptonites too. (or am I confused?) Anyway I guess we stoped using wood as much and that made this less of a problem! Anyway sign me up but only if the picture has Captain Corky in spandex tights! I want to be Fan club treasurer!

What A Crock said...

can i pay in food stamps? how about double coupons? :p

Aunt Jackie said...

I don't have much to bargain with, but I would join if I could. I can try to offer one of my Band's CDs, and all the stories of debauchery I can muster.

BTW: The Green Lantern kicks ass, but not as much as You and Corky, Jr.

:)

Enemy of the Republic said...

I join, I join--cash or Pay Pal?

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

LMFAO!

I'm afraid that due to financial circumstances I'll have to settle for the Basic Membership (and I so wanted to take you to my 20th high school reunion next month).

karma lennon said...

Wow, this is amazing! Sign me up! Sigh....now my life is complete.

Cazzie!!! said...

I will join you now...just bringing on over a truck load of UDL's first, LOL.

Christie said...

Dude, I'm still waiting for my bumper sticker! Now you owe me that AND a membership card.

Your ego is getting quite big, if you start talking about your body parts and how huge they are, I'm going to start thinking Dyck has stolen your blog.

TheBirdman33 said...

I don't know if there is room for Corky Jr. in your super hero duo, you already have your ego as back up.

TheBirdman33 said...

Oh, and I am good with the basic membership...I have to spend that $30.99 a month on adult friend finder.

Thanks anyway

nikki said...

I'll take the basic membership. I'm so broke I can't even afford to pay attention for too long. Besides, the perks of the other memberships don't thrill me. I so can't stand to talk on the phone.

kat said...

I would like a lifetime membership. I would like to pay in pennies. Is this possible?

Jay said...

I'm afraid I'm going to have to just stick with the basic membership. I mean, if you had some cool coffee mugs and t-shirts then that might change things a bit. But, for now I'll stay where I am.

Of course, if you gave away cool stuff like coffee mugs and t-shirts you'd have to raise the price and then it might get expensive.

Ashley said...

Your cleverness knows no bounds. Maybe that is your superpower-Infinite Wisdom and Humor.

Will we all be getting bumper stickers??

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Shouldn't you be paying us?

Keshi said...

How do we pay? Cash or kisses? :)

Keshi.

Pud said...

All of that for a mere $1,000?!?

Where's the sign-up form?

neroli said...

Corky, I am *ecstatic* to be a card-carryin' member of the Official Fan Club.
Really!
Oh my goodness.
I love this!

Michael C said...

This was brilliant. I am saving up my Gs now!!!

Heart Of Darkness said...

How about an after-life special? ;)

captain corky said...

Hoosiergirl5: LOL. Don't worry J, The Birdman cometh. ;)

Sunshine: Do you think Green Lantern would make a good prom date?

I'd really like to see a picture of your cartoon self.

Pink: Sounds like a cool club that I wouldn't mind joining myself.

AFKAPW: You definitely have a good head on your shoulders and would make a great treasurer. I've never worn green spandex before, but there's a first time for everything. ;)

What a Crock: We'll take food stamps. I love food. My mouth and gut will make good use of your food stamps. :)

captain corky said...

Aunt Jackie: It will be an even swap since your band is going to hit it really big one day. Can you throw in some back stage passes?

Enemy: Gold bullion please ;)

Whim: I'm sure we can work something out. ;)

Karma: Glad I could be the pot of gold at the end of your rainbow. ;)

Cazzie: We just love your enthusiasm!

captain corky said...

Christie: Email me your address and the bumper sticker will magically appear in your mailbox give or take 5 days.

I've always had a really big... ego. ;)

Birdman33: Easy big guy, I've seen you dance in front of 100's of people before.

How's the friend hunting? LOL

Nikki: Don't tell anyone but I hate talking on the phone too. ;)

Kat: Pennies are ok as long as they don't smell like copper. And no green one's that have been sitting at the bottom of a fish tank for the last 10 years either. ;)

captain corky said...

Jay: Rockdog's got all that cool shit over at his place. I may have to spring for one of those mugs.

Ashley: Email me your address and I'll send you one. :)

[Cherry] Ride: That's supposed to be our little secret...

Keshi: Both are equally pleasing. ;)

Pud: Exactly. You can always spot a bargain when you see one, can't you?

captain corky said...

Neroli: Make sure to keep it in front of your credit cards and library card cause ya just never know when somebody is going to ask you to present it. ;)

Michael C: Better start putting in some overtime over there. ;)

Heart: Or maybe even an after school special starring Michael Landon.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

CRUSTYBEEF SAYS:

I can do the $39 membership-the $1000 is a bit out of reach right now.
Oh, hey! does that $39 membership come with that darned bumper sticker-still WaItInG. :)

I've always had a hidden love for Green lantern-there's something about that ring that he slides on his finger pulling up a green glow that can move anything, freeze anything for hours on end. Suddenly all the men are extremely jealous.."How DOES he maintain his endurance?..."
Too bad Hawkgirl and him didn't work out. Between her wings and torch zappie thing and his ring-bowchickawowwow!

Always,
Crusty~

Feels Like Home said...

I will unfortunately have to stick with the basic membership. I have 3 kids to put through college in 18 years.... Maybe I can get some extra perks for my entertaining and informative frosty stories?

swampy said...

The check is in the mail...
That baby on your side bar is precious. Thank goodness I'm too old to have more...just looking at that pic stirs me up. I'll just love on the grandkids.

Burfica said...

I'll get the lifetime membership, only if you wear the green lantern outfit to my reunion. hehehehe

Alicia said...

The lifetime membership is tempting.
My 10 year reunion is coming up in May.
I think Beefy might pay you $1000 just to go in his place.

Plus, the autographed framed picture of you is too good to pass up.

captain corky said...

Crusty: I love when Crustybeef says stuff, especially about Hawkgirl and Green Lantern. Now you're speaking my language sister. Very nice!

Feels like Home: They don't need fucking college. Teach them how to drive a truck It will all work out.

PS Informative Frosty stories go a long way. ;)

Swampy: I can't wait to spend my new money. Spending new money is fun.

Spending time with the baby is the best though. Enjoy your grandkids. ;)

Burfica: You know I will.

Alicia: After I send you my picture you can insert me into all of your family photos. "Here's Captain Corky standing next to Beefcake drinking him under the table" ;)

RockDog said...

How do we know that the signed photo is really your signature? Will there be an authentication process ro maybe a video of you signing it? I was going to join, but I'm sceptical...

Warmest Regards,

R

furiousBall said...

Do we get rings or anything like that? Superpowers? I need to see the fine print.

mjd said...

You must be kidding. These 40,000 commenters are all faithful members of the Captain Corky Fan Club. I am still waiting for my autographed picture. If you have not received my check, it is in the mail. However, since you have posted two entries without a Max picture, I may need a refund. Green Lantern is nice and everything but he is no Max.

etain_lavena said...

ahhh if only I did not have a crummy job and I can barely buy food for myself...I would have joined...sex talk sound good will you tell me what that is, my dad never had the talk with me...whahahahaha.....I am happy to in the basic club though...YAY....
HUGZ

Tod said...

I will save up my pennies and then you will be all mine bitch...I'm gonna make you watch all three seasons of Lost.

jAMiE said...

TAG!! you're it! *sorry for being a nuisance, you don't have to do it*

Jenny! said...

I want to be a Lifetime member!

Metal Mark said...

I liked the original Green Lantern as well. I liked Guy Gardner even better though.

Tink said...

So... What can I get for $2? :)

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

That Green Lantern doesn't look like a good guy. In fact, he looks a little like Destro from G.I. Joe, who was anything but nice. I once saw him headbutt a girl in the baby-maker with his silver dome.

captain corky said...

Rockdog: Good point. I'll send a certificate of authenticity just like the Franklin Mint does.

Furiousball: No rings, but you do get a ring with a picture of Captain Corky on it.

MJD: LOL Max is definitely cooler than Green Lantern.

Etain: We do have scholarships for special cases. I know we can work something out. ;)

Tod: But I only watch realistic Television programing about castaways lost on a deserted Island, like Gilligan's Island for example. ;)

captain corky said...

Jamie: You're never a nuisance. I am though. ;)

Jenny: You know you are. ;)

Metal Mark: I liked when Batman knocked his ass out with one punch. Good stuff.

Tink: 2 Bucks gets you a can of soda and a pack of gum, if you're lucky these days.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: Headbutting Girls anywhere isn't nice. Green Lantern is much nicer than that and even had kids with one of his old foes.

Jessica said...

I wanted to be the Bionic Woman when I was really little. I even had the ugly plastic costume for Halloween. Can't relate to the latern.
Cool blog.

Heather said...

I'm not joining unless there's a magazine. Just for fans.

honkeie2 said...

I am a total comic book freak...but stopped reading then sometime around 1995. I have been looking to pick it back up again. I have a local comic book store for the young and the sexless to try and refuel my old love.
But I noticed a flaw in your membership offer. You did not say that you would only go to the high school reunions with women only. I have a gay friend that has a high school reunion cumming up and he needs a Manny to stand in as his main bitch. Maybe I will give him you web address, he has paid alot more than 1000bucks for men before so this will not be a real problem for him.
By the way his nick-name is BallsOnChin.

Jessica said...

I'm adding you to my blog list. Hopefully it will give me super powers. ;-)

Emmeline said...

oooh oooh oooh, lifetime membership please!

Pixie said...

Do you do layaway ?

captain corky said...

Jessica: The Bionic woman is hot! And welcome to the log. ;)

Heather: Not only a magazine but a calendar as well. With lots of pictures of Captain Corky working on cars shirtless. ;)

Honkeie2: I'll go into a comic book shop every once in a while and by a big fat stack of comics, but I don't collect on a regular basis anymore. Now I collect people. Please see my side bar.

Emmeline: Anything for a friend. Welcome the family. ;)

Pixie: For you, instant credit Pixie. :)

JINKS said...

Yes! Finally a real membership I can be proud of. Suppose I could "flash" my membership card and not get arrested?

Well, kiss the boy wonder he has a cute smile.

honkeie2 said...

If I become a memeber do i get to wear a light spandex outfit as well?

Jenny! said...

I want a calander and magazine too!!! But I want the special edition nudey one!

captain corky said...

Jinks: You'll be amazed at the advantages that card gives you. ;)

Honkeie2: Any color you want my friend.

Jenny: You'll love my fire fighter NOvember spread. I'll I wear is suspenders.

slskenyon said...

That's quite a fan club offer. At least there are benefits for both genders involved.

Jerrster said...

am I too late for the Membership drive??? Can I still get a Captain Corky Secret De-coder Ring???

captain corky said...

Slskenyon: We never discriminate. ;)

Jerrster: Of course you can my friend. Just remember to drink your Ovaltine.

Princess Pointful said...

So... how much a day?

madame x said...

As much as I'd like to be a member of the Captain Corky All Stars, I'm afraid it would void my membership in the 'Spin and Marty' fan club... and I'd have to turn in my Annette Funicello laminated autograph.

But if you're selling 'Send Max to college' genuine capt corky replica action figures... I'm in for a dozen.

marykay said...

your too funny!