Monday, August 06, 2007

Nuts



Originally I was going to write today's post about how much it pisses me off that I can't order a brownie sundae in what seems like more than half of the restaurants on this planet, because some asshole decided that putting nuts in brownies was a good idea. Let's be clear about this... It's not! I can't tell you how many lazy afternoons I've spent fantasizing about eating a nutless brownie sundae, while sitting in the front row, at that asshole's execution. Incidentally, I have the same amount of hatred for the "person" who came up with the idea to add nuts to chocolate marshmallow ice cream, and by doing so felt compelled to rename chocolate marshmallow ice cream, Rocky Road. Asshole.

But I can't write about any of that today because on Saturday night my computer died. The damn computer was only about two or three years old! How ridiculous is that? Anyway we bought a new computer on Sunday, and I'm hoping that it will last longer than 5 minuets. If it doesn't I'm gonna have to go back to reading Swank magazines, and doing my writing on the inside of bathroom stalls again. That would stink.

Last but not least today is Max's 1 month anniversary outside the womb. I know you didn't forget to mark it on your calendar...

Please don't beat yourself up for not sending a gift yet. Max is a very understanding baby and is willing to give you a full week extension to get your act together. If you can't afford to send a gift you can honor Max's anniversary by boycotting any brownie sundae that has nuts in it or on top of it. Oh yeah, no cherries on Max's brownie sundae either, but if they put one on by accident I guess we can live with it.









73 comments:

Melissa said...

Happy 1 month Max!!! Sorry about your computer....was it a Dell? Barry's Dell crapped out around 2 years also....

captain corky said...

No, it was a gateway. Same diffrence. Max says thank you.

abbagirl74 said...

Well nuts! That totally sucks. I will bake a nutless brownie today in honor of Max's anniversary. Here's to the cute kid!

her indoors said...

one month already? happy one month old Max x x
nuts whole hazelnuts uh caburys take em and they cover them in chocolate, oops sorry for the outburst there!

Terri said...

I'm so with you about the nuts - can't stand 'em and have enough of them in my life already - why do they have to be in the brownies?

Happy one month Max - you are a little cutie! Bet you take after your mommy! :o)

karma lennon said...

Happy 1 month, Max!!! :) Even though I find nuts in brownies delish, I will have one without just for you.

captain corky said...

Abbagirl74: Yummy! Keep in mind that chocolate chips are more than a suitable replacement for nuts.

Her Indoors: One month has gone by really fast, hasn't it? And what's this business about hazelnuts? Not even as a flavor in my coffee!

Terri: You have impeccable brownie taste, and you know he does. ;)

Karma: "Even though I find nuts in brownies delish"

And here I thought we agreed on everything. ;)

Crashdummie said...

i can do that for Max, but its a huge sacrifise - I like nuts!

Wait, that didn't sound that good now did it...

nikki said...

I totally agree about the brownies, and NOW I want some. Guess we will venture to the store today. Anyway, happy monthday to Max. Sorry about the computer.

Lady K said...

Happy b-day to Max!!! That baby is one of the cutest I've ever seen.

Is it wrong that I like nuts in brownies? They're WAY better with something else I won't mention, though...

Sorry about your computer ~ been there, done that. Life without technology is strange.

Debs said...

Sorry about your puter. I am grateful we have two, because about 2 months ago, our Dell bit the bullet. We only had it for 2 years.

Max is toooooo cute!!! Time flies by so fast.

I too am not a fan of nuts in my brownies.

Nonny said...

I agree with you 100% about the nuts in brownies debacle. It completely ruins a brownie, or any baked good really. I might actually despise the dickhead who put nuts in chocolate chip cookies more. In my opinion, nuts are a stand alone food.

Motor City Monk said...

I wholeheartedly agree with you and Nonny. Nuts do not belong in anything. It's a texture thing. You can't enjoy a soft cookie or brownie with a fucking nut in the way.

Those Little Debbie brownies only have nuts on top so you can easily brush 'em off.

BTW, absolutely no fruit in jello.

captain corky said...

Crashdummie: Don't worry! I know exactly what you meant. ;)

Nikki: I might have to go to the store and get some for myself too. Yum.

Lady K: I agree with you on the stuff that you're not mentioning.
PS It was the toughest 12 hours I ever spent. LOL

Debs: I hope this computer lasts for a while. So far it's really, really fast, and I'm very happy.

Nonny: Peanuts are ok, and so are sunflower seeds, but like you said only by themselves.

Monk: Excellent point about the Jello! I'll take mine plain please. Maybe whip cream. Maybe.

madame x said...

I'm feeling your computer pain my friend...having just recovered from a computer meltdown myself.. I at least hope you got everything from the old.

MCMonk it sooo right... it's a texture thing with the nuts...they are a culinary nusiance

Guilty Secret said...

Aw he is beautiful!

Home-made brownies are sooo much better anyway...

Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

Christie said...

You're like my long-lost nutless brother. That didn't sound right did it? Why do people insist on putting nuts on EVERYTHING anyway? On vacation, I ordered this awesome chocolate eclair pie, and guess what, the fucker had nuts in it. It didn't say that when I read the description either. Douchbags. It not only had nuts all over the top, but finely cut up and running all through my beautiful dessert. I was pissed.

Tell Max Happy 1 Month and I'll try and knit his head a hat for winter.

Gina said...

Look at that cutie!

I am sorry to tell you that a brownie without nuts is just wrong. A really good brownie needs the nuts to break up all that overwhelming chocolatey gooey-ness.

You are going to have to stick with just making your own!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

sucks about the computer..what happened to it?

So, go to your costco..get some brown bites circley things..add some vanilla ice cream and you've got yourself a brownie cream!! I had one last night as a matter of fact-delicious.

Brownies and nuts? YUCK!
rocky road? YUCK!!
nuts in chocolate chip cookies? YUCK!!
why jack with perfection?
i will be more than happy to boycott that nasty brownie nut bs.
Always,
Crusty~

The Lone Beader said...

I prefer nutless brownies, too:)

RockDog said...

Admit it...you love nuts. The bigger the better. This was a nutty post...

Tod said...

I don't even know what a brownie is. Wait...it's one of those limp soggy things right?

Jay said...

If I ever get elected King of America I will outlaw nuts in brownies, ice cream and cookies. Then I'll outlaw left turns unless there is a protection light or left turn lane.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I love the latest Max picture, but not quite as much as I love the TJ Hooker picture.

Peggy said...

Happy 1 month on the planet Max.

Corky, I like nuts and I for one am pleased that they are in most brownies and rocky road ice cream.

I understand your dislike of peanuts, though I don't share your taste but what about pecans? They're gorgous!

Heart Of Darkness said...

Haha, Max's such a philosopher!!!!

Oh, and is this the virgin tour on your new computer???? ;)

Webmiztris said...

you eat nutless brownie sundaes? lol! that sounds painful!

Ashley said...

Happy 1 month birthday, Max! Cute picture!

I am also completely opposed to nuts in brownies. I feel you should pick one consistency, chewy or crunchy, and stick with it. The other thing that really pisses me off is coconut in coffee cakes. I am done with Entenman's for life. Is cococut that cheap of a filler? I hate it. No Malibu for me either.

Ashley said...

About the computer, at least you will now be able to watch the videos on Birdman's blog.

Big Pissy said...

I agree completely with what Gina said....

oh, and may I request a copy of this particular photo of Max? A 5 x 7 would be fine.

Thank you.

Happy One Month Birthday, Max!!! :)

Blancodeviosa said...

happy one month Max!

as for you dad, if you would quit looking up gay transgendered midget porn you might still have your computer.you put it out there to get all virused up like a 10 cent hooker. fer shame!

nikki said...

Oh, and I just remembered something they have at my grocery store here. HUGE brownies with frosting for $2.50. They are worth every cent!

Princess Pointful said...

Agreed on the nuts-- whilst (okay, I just wanted to used wilst in context) I don't hate them, I generally find the change in texture a little upsetting. I hate multigrain bread for that very same reason.

Happy one month of daddy-hood!

Suzie said...

i have a grandson max too... but nuts are what make the brownie special... i look for those nuts treasure the taste and wish for more...i guess i'm just nuts!

Nancy said...

Happy one month Max!

I will eat a sundae in your honor!

leslie said...

It's ALL about the chocolate.

Burfica said...

I totally want to throttle people who put nuts in brownies, sundae's and in chocolate chip cookies!!!

I make my own brownie sundaes. I'm good with the cherry though, I love them, I actually have 5 to 10 on my sundae when I make it myself.

HoosierGirl5 said...

Happy 1 month birthday to Max, and congratulations to new parents Allyson and Corky for having made it a month without a good night's sleep!!!

Come over to Mom and Pop's ice cream store in New Albany. My teenage daughter works there and she assures me that the brownies there do not have nuts. If you come, I will buy. ;)

J.

Ps. Bring Max.

Enemy of the Republic said...

I bake a lot for my guests and I've learned never to use nuts because of allergies. If I have a lot of people, then I make nutless brownies/cookies and ones with nuts. I can't believe restaurants are so stupid.

Jenny! said...

I can't believe hes a month old already...before you know it he will be getting drunk, experimenting and...well youknow!

I have to say that I LOVE NUTS...and totally disagree with you...I like my nuts with a little side of brownie! I know someone who is as adament about no nuts in brownies...he's crazy! What's wrong with nuts...they are so so yummy!

mjd said...

Oh, poor Corky are you allergic to nuts? Have you had an Erler's hot fudge sundae. In my opinion, Erler's makes the best hot fudge sundaes, which is not helpful if you are looking for a brownie sundae.

Send me your address and Max's present can be on its way.

Keshi said...

I love anything nutty cos Im a nutter.

cute Max happy 30days!

Keshi.

suit case said...

I don't like nuts in ice cream or brownies or chocolate. it ruins the beautiful taste of sweet gooie creamy chocolate. and none in salads no apples or strawberries nither. I like nuts alone or mixed. and how come they make chocolate with nuts and nuts and rasins (chunky) but no just raisins in chocolate. like a bar, not covered. how about m&m's covered in raisins?

TheBirdman33 said...

Happy Anniversary Max!

TheBirdman33 said...

You KNOW I am 100% with you on the no nut thing. I also hate when they give you something with frosting on it and call it a brownie. NO, that's chocolate cake!

captain corky said...

Madame X: My friends at Geek Squad are extracting my pictures and music. Good thing I don't keep any porn on that computer. ;)

Guilty Secret: Do Duncan Hines count as home-made? I love making brownies from a box.

Christie: " I ordered this awesome chocolate eclair pie:"

I would have had a fuckin cow!!!

Max says thank you Christie.

Gina: Is this another insurmountable strike against what could have been? ;)

Crustybeef: I'm not real good with technical jargon, but I think it had something to do with the Flux-Capacitor. And I agree about nuts in chocolate cookies. Absolutely discusting!

captain corky said...

Beader: You have a very good head on your shoulders. I've always admired that about you. ;)

Rockdog: LOL.

Tod: I think it's America's answer to the crumpet. WTF is a crumpet anyway?

Jay: If you become King of America can I be your jester? I'm a really fucking funny guy.

Dr Kenneth Noisewater: Who do you think could kick more ass, Hooker or Kirk?

captain corky said...

Peggy: Butter Pecan? Never touch the stuff. I do like peanuts and sun flower seeds though.

Heart: Max is about as much of a philosopher as Sally Brown is at Christmas time. ;)

Webmiztris: I feel like by replying to this comment I'm only going digging my hole deeper. ;)

Ashley: I could right an entire book about how much I hate coconut and how Almond Joy and Mounds are the worst candy bars ever made. My blood pressure has elevated to dangerous levels just thinking about coconut sprinkled on my food.

Pissy: We still haven't ordered our hospital pictures yet. But when we do I'll put aside a copy for you. ;)

captain corky said...

Blancodeviosa: But you promised you would never mention my obsession with gay transgendered midget porn! ;)

Nikki: I like chocolate frosting on my brownies sometimes.

Princess: I've always wanted to use whilst in a sentence, but I can't write or speak Latin. ;)

Nancy: Enjoy!

Leslie: It's true, I'm a real whore for chocolate.

captain corky said...

Burfica: I don't mind cherries nearly as much as nuts, but I don't like the influence cherries have on chocolate.

Hoosiergirl5: How is the coffee at Mom and Pops's J?

Enemy: Unfortunately It only takes one lawsuit to change the world.

Jenny: He's growing so fast. What happens if he spites me and becomes a straight A student and Boy Scout? Yikes!

MJD: I like peanuts by themselves and sun flower seeds. That's as far as I go with nuts

captain corky said...

Keshi: I like Nutter Butters. Now that's a delicious cookie!


Suit Case: M&M's with raisins sounds like a brilliant idea. You should write them a letter!

Birdman: Allyson in convinced that I get all of my eating habits from your family. You should feel proud.

HoosierGirl5 said...

You know, I don't know about the coffee. I don't know if they even HAVE coffee. When Rachael wakes up, I'll ask her.

J.

Metal Mark said...

Afraid I like nuts in my brownies.

Bardouble29 said...

too cute!!!

Emmeline said...

I stumbled across the site today. Congrats on the beautiful baby boy and his first monthiversary!

I am new to Blogger . . . I am finding that it is apparently customary to respond to people's comments on your own site rather than on their site? I will have to get used to this practice I guess.

Anyway, thanks for the laughs.

Pink said...

down with brownie sundaes and up with babies.

is that right?

happy monthday, Max!
xx
pinks

furiousBall said...

I agree, just let the brownie be. Some hot fudge, maybe, MAYBE some whip cream - that's it. Brownies are the greatest invention since vagina, no need to put nuts on that either.

Biddie said...

Yay, Max! One month already? And cuter everyday.
I hate that some asshat decided to put nuts in brownies and and ice cream, too. I mean, WTF? Seriously. WTF? Those effing nuts just get in the way of all of my chocolately goodness.
Ummm chocolate....

Sarah said...

Consider me eating a nutless sundae done, also becuase I am dieting mine will have suagr free ice cream, no chocolate sauce and the brownie part will be played by a weight watchers chocolate cake.

Heart Of Darkness said...

Well, you can't help but to wonder what's on his mind! LOL

Jenny! said...

Sarah, that sounds gross!

Crashdummie said...

btw, have u ever thought of making ur own brownies?

HoosierGirl5 said...

Bad news. No coffee at Mom and Pop's. But Rachael says they have coffee-flavored ice cream.

J.

Emmeline said...

I find it interesting that you have a lot of 'team members' and other blog contributors, but I have only ever seen a post written by you.

Also, I hate brownies with nuts in them too. I also hate brownies with powdered sugar on top!

Emmeline said...

Oops, I forgot the reason I came to comment in the first place - I linked to you on my site!

leslie said...

Would you consider writing to the offending restaurants and letting them know your preferences? Sometimes it's good for a whole bunch of 'apology' coupons, or maybe they will start making a nutless brownie sundae.
Or maybe they will send you a whole bunch of apology coupons for brownie nut sundaes...

slskenyon said...

Wow, one month old now....

I agree on the brownies. I have spent way too many of my limited, precious minutes on this planet picking ill-placed nuts out of otherwise delicious brownies.

Now, add chocolate chips to the batter, and I'm Ok with that.

Cheryl said...

Hey buddy...long time. I'm way behind on my reading, but I'm starting to catch up. The nuts...you have it right. I hate nuts in my brownies. Give me chocolate chips anyday.

Little Junior is looking very dashing. The gift's in the mail.

Keshi said...

hehehehe :)

How abt Nutella?

Keshi.

Canadian flake said...

My god that Max just gets better looking all the time...he is a BORN to be trekkie...I can just tell...he is a chip off the ol block.

eric313 said...

Graffiti artist at heart, ehh?

There are gremlins in these damn things, I swear it sometimes. I hear them in there and never turn out the light in the computer room so that they can't spread to my flat screen TV.

I think they hate light, anyway, it's been a while since I saw the movie.

Heather said...

I totally agree - NUTS SUCK!


hee hee hee hee hee....

eric said...

i don't have time to read all these comments, but i can say with absolutely certainty ... nuts in brownies and cookies suck.

now nuts in your face? that's even worse.