Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Questionnaire


In order to better serve you in the future we here at Corky's log have prepared a little questionnaire. We look forward to any feedback or comments you may have. And as always, thank you for continuing to visit the log.
1. I visit Corky's log daily because:
A. Corky cracks my shit up!
B. I'm here to hunt fresh game.
C. I have no direction in life and Corky gives me purpose.
D. I'm here to look at the kid, fuck you Corky!

2. When Corky doesn't comment on a post that I've written:A. I panic and break out in to hives.
B. I Check TV Land to see if there's a Star Trek marathon on.
C. I Immediately click on another blog that Corky frequents to see if he's posted a comment over there.
D. I Send Corky a text message calling him a dick.

3. Since reading Corky my life has:
A. been turned upside down because I'm in love with him.
B. Become enriched and full and my heart is light where it was once heavy.
C. Not changed at all, I'm too self absorbed to even think about him.
D. meaning.

4. If God were going to talk to Corky he would do it:
A. By leaving a comment on his blog.
B. During an episode of Star Trek
C. While Corky was taking a bath.
D. right after Corky finsihed a bottle of Vodka.

5. If I could have sex with Corky it would be:
A. On the beach.
B. In the back seat of an old car.
C. In a shady motel at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
D. On an airplane.
E. In a bathroom.
F. In a 5 star hotel.
G. On the bridge of the Enterprise

6. Corky is my hero and I worship him because:
A. I feel like everybody else on the planet has abandoned me.
B. God let me down a long time ago.
C. drugs and booze just don't do if for me anymore.
D. I'm really sick and tired of what's his name.

72 comments:

Guilty Secret said...

He he Corky you do 'crack my shit up' but I am also in it for the baby pics!

Great post :)

Christie said...

Ask and ye shall receive:
1. A & D
2. B
3. C
4. B
5. C
6. C

karma lennon said...

Hmmm...let's see...

1. A
2. A
3. D
4. A
5. C
6. D

Awesome post! :)

Nancy said...

1)A&D (and I ain't talking ointment)
2)B
3)B
4)B
5)C
6)C

Good poll, lol

The Lone Beader said...

1. A
2. B
3. B
4. B
5. B:)
6. D

AWESOME post, Corky. U rock=:)

Metal Mark said...

Let's see...
1-A
2-B
3-C
4-B
5-I'll pass on this one.
6-C and D

Heidi the Hick said...

I could hardly get past 1A.

Y'know???????

(and everybody should answer 5B. At least once in their lives.)

Heidi the Hick said...

okay maybe the front seat if you're really impatient.

madame x said...

1. A & D & D & D and also D
2. E. I figure he probably hasn't recoved from the brillance of it all
3. what?
4. what what?
5. Whatwhatwhat?
6. Please refer to 7-25-7 entry..we've been over this ;D

Biddie said...

Ok, I can't even believe that I am doing this but...
1-D
2-C
3-D
4-B
5-G, but if that isn't creepy enough for you, my 19 year old says that she would answer with D *shudder*
6-C
Are we done yet?

captain corky said...

Guilty Secret: Great answer!!!

Christie: Great answers!!!

Karma Lennon: Great answers!!!

Nancy: Great answers!!!

Beader: Great answers!!!

captain corky said...

Mark: Good job on skipping number 5. Great answers!!!

Heidi: Great Answer, and great alternative answer. ;)

Madame X: Great answers and July 25th was soooo long ago. ;)

Biddie: Great answers from the both of you!!!

Blancodeviosa said...

1. D of course!
2. E. I scream from the roof tops- Cork's a Dick!
3. C. I dunno.Does this top make my ass look too big?
4. E. When he wakes up. Long.. before he has a chance to veg on the couch with his remote, hookers and a colt 45
5. H. In his dreams
6. E. I only worship aardvarks, house plants and fred willard

The Artist formerly Known as Purpleworms (!) said...

Corky, darling, Self-obsessive much? We love your blog - but some of us do enjoy the nuts in our brownies and would choose drugs and alcohol over the other option you have given. Hope you aren't allergic (to nuts drugs or alcohol!) We will always have sushi!

Ashley said...

Can I go with E. All of the above?!

You have changed my life for the better, Corky. God must be working through you already!!

Gina said...

You are such a whore, do you know that. But, here....

1. A and D, I'm conflicted.
2. C
3. A
4. B
5. F
6. B

Jenny! said...

#5....G...for shizzle! Could I be Ohura??? Not sure if I spelled that right, but you know who I'm talking about!

Sarah said...

1. C
2.C
3. D
4.A
5. what? no option to choose all of the above?
6.C

Suzie said...

feedback what is that? is that like when food comes back...vomit.

1. d
2. b
3. b
4. d
5. all of the above
6. all of the above

captain corky said...

Blancodeviosa: Great answers! I worship aardvarks too. Don't they eat ants?

Purple: Me? Self obsessive??? No way, not ME. ;)

Ashley: We love you, God and I.

Gina: Great Answers! Just remember that a real whore would have you pay for 5 F. ;)

Jenny: Great answer, and for sure. It will be just like the first interracial kiss on television all over again. Only different.

furiousBall said...

I'll use the Abacab and AC/DC method of answering...

1.A
2.B
3.A
4.C
5.A
6.B

or

1.A
2.C
3.D
4.C
5.A
6.C

captain corky said...

Sarah: Great answers! You have a very valid point about number 5.

Suzie: Great answers. I think feedback has something to do with guitar amps, but what do I know? ;)

Furiousball: Great answers. If all else fails you could just answer in alphabetical order.

her indoors said...

LMASO
1 - A. B. C and D
2 - D. A. C and B
3 - B. A. D and C
4 - C. B. D and A
5 . thought it was going to be our secret!!!!!
6 - D. C. A and B

Heart Of Darkness said...

I'll save the test for later, just need to get all in awe of how healer'ish Max looks... put his hands on somebody, he might have special powers!!!! :D

leslie said...

The answer is yes, to everything, but I didn't call you a dick on that text message...

mjd said...

Oh, I love surveys.
1. A and D
2. E. None of the above
3. B
4. B
5. H. All of the above
6. E. Corky is kind although sarcastically hilarious

Tod said...

Well I tried to answer these questions and then I just thought WWCD? So I fucked off and got a glass of wine instead :)

Jay said...

1. B - I'm definitely looking for fresh game. I like to kill it with my own hands and then cook it over an open fire out next the camp that I build out of twigs and leaves.

2. D - And tell him to fuck off.

3. C - I think we all know the truth about my being self-absorbed.

4. D - Cause that's when God usually talks to me.

5. C - Cause he's a cheap bastard and likes it dirty.

6. B - God really hates my guts. You're the only one left for me Corky. You have to save me.

RockDog said...

I'm sorry...can you repeat the question?

Motor City Monk said...

I'm way too ADD to play along with this mess but suffice to say I will not be having sex with Corky and I mainly return to Corky's Log cuz he's good about replying to comments and even comments at my blog when nobody else bothers to.

Laurasia said...

1.A
2.A (Not so much the hives deal, but your prescence is missed)
3 A (Don't tell the wife. She wouldn't understand)
4.B

5.E

6.C

Burfica said...

first three is B
last three is C


hehehehe that's it.

Peggy said...

1. A

2. C

3. C

4. C

5. C

6. C

Is this like one of those quizzes in Cosmo? "If your answers are mostly C's then you really need professional help."

Queen of Dysfunction said...

I just used my scantron to make a phallic symbol but I think the results have me here because I like to look at your kid and want to have sex with you on the bridge of the Enterprise. Which really? Is a little creepy and makes me want to ban my own IP from your blog so you don't have to put up with me anymore.

leslie said...

Max looks like he's wearing a teeny tiny little party hat...

Canadian flake said...

hee hee here ya go (with a few changes)

1)E - because Max is a hunk and Corky is a trekkie.
2)B - of course
3)B - because I have found another "kirk"
4)B - is there any doubt??
5)G - hee hee hee
6)E - he makes good lookin babies..lmao.

Whatcha think? ya like my changes?

Jenny! said...

Just like that...only it would have some porn music in the background and a shakey camera man!

Cheryl said...

I want to know if you thoroughly amuse yourself as you write.

erika said...

1-C 2-B 3-B 4-D 5-H(sorry dude, you're not my, ummmm, type :) 6-B

Jerrster said...

um....all D's and one G...did you expect anything else my trekker friend?

captain corky said...

Her Indoors: Great Answers. All of them. ;)

Heart: He definitely has special powers. Not only can he heal, but I think he's going to be able to fly when he gets older. He'll probably also be able to bench press a mountain. That's my boy! ;)

Leslie: I know you would never call me a dick. The birdman might, but definitely not you. :)

MJD: Great Answers!!!!

PS Don't worry... I won't tell your hubby about us. ;)

Tod: Can I join you?

captain corky said...

Jay: Great answers!!! It's all about fresh game.

Rockdog: The question is: What moves you?

Motor City Monk: In a former life I was a dog and I was very obedient to my master. ;)

Laurasia: Great Answers!!! Are you sure you don't get hives?

Burfica: Great Answers!!! Glad you appreciate my silliness.

captain corky said...

Peggy: Great answers!!! I hear that Cosmo pays better than the log. ;)

Queen: Don't ban yourself from the log. We look forward to your royal visits, and would be lost without them.

Leslie: I would have ripped off the tag already, but I don't have any interest in doing any time in a federal penitentiary. ;)

Canadian Flake: Great changes!!! I like being called another Kirk. ;)

Jenny: Nice!!! Of course the camera man will be a woman though. ;)

captain corky said...

Cheryl: Sometimes more than others. ;)

Erika: Great Answers!!! I'm everyone's type. ;)

Jerrster: Great answers! D happens to be a very popular letter.

M said...

Oh my God, you crack me up. One time I almost shot tea out of my nose! And oh, Corky? God did send you a message...his name is Max :)

abbagirl74 said...

Okay, I am going with my own answers here.
1. Because I am addicted to your blog.
2. I know you are a busy daddy!
3. It's been great having you as a blogging buddy.
4. He already has, he gave you Max.
5. In the Enterprise, in Kirk's bedroom quarters.
6. I don't worship you, but I think you ROCK!

Big Pissy said...

Cork....you might be a whore, but you're OUR whore! ;-)

here are my answers with one added for extra credit.

1. A
2. B
3. B
4. D
5. G
6. D
7. Corky has the cutest baby EVER...well...since mine..anyway. ;-)

CRUSTYBEEF said...

I'm following abbagirls suite and posting my own answers along with yours:

1.I visit you because it's great to hear what parenting is like through a birds eye view from a daddy.

2.I don't panic because sitemeter doesn't lie..but I'll head over to your roll call blogs and pick a flavor for the day to make you jealous..hahahah

3. Since reading your blog thanks to abba and ladeda I'm grateful that the blogging world has put me in contact with wonderful creative individuals.

4. God already spoke to you-by helping along with the creation of your wonderful little boy..but than again, maybe that was due to the vodka that you were drinking. :)

5. hmm, sex with corky? I don't think my husband would be too happy about that. :)

6. I worship you because,..most dads aren't as honest and aware of the hardships of parenthood and what mommies have to go through..bigdogg and you are few and far between.

Always,
Crusty~
:)

The [Cherry] Ride said...

1. C
2. D
3. C
4. E - Through the [Cherry] Ride, where God does all his talking through.
5. [... crickets ...]
6. C

captain corky said...

M: Welcome to the log! And I believe you're right. :)

Abbagirl74: Great Answers!!! The log is very habit forming. ;)

Pissy: Great Answers!!! I really like number 7. ;)

Crusty: Great Answers!!! And thanks for the kind words. I'm getting faklempt. ;)

[Cherry] Ride: Great answers man!!! Number 5 makes a lot of sense.

karma lennon said...

Harry Potter was good! It's much darker than the first 4. But it's nice. And action packed! :) Enjoy!

Princess Pointful said...

1) A

2) I would do D if I had your #, so perhaps you should help a reader out, huh?

3) A- hence why you should really post your number

4) Obviously not B...because you would tell him to shut up. Although I'm quite sure God has the voice of Captain Picard. So I will say A... just to leave open the possibility that I may, in fact, be the Almighty.

5) G- Is there any other answer

6) A

On an unrelated tangent, I just watched the very entertaining documentary (though a little dated) Trekkies. Have you seen it?

Alicia said...

Mx is getting so big!
:)

jAMiE said...

1. C
2. A
3. D
4. A
5. G
6. A

Enjoy! You nut!!!

HoosierGirl5 said...

Okay, obviously I'm a little late to this party but I'm going to do it anyway....

1. A I visit because you crack me up. :)

2. B I check TVland and/or I assume he might be spending some quality "Daddy time" with Max.

3. B (even though he claims he's too busy with Max, Allyson, and work to actually meet me for a cup of coffee)

4. B Is there any other way for God to talk to Corky? I mean, come on!

5. C There are lots of shady motels on Dixie Highway. (wink)

6. I worship Corky because he's an awesome husband and father, and he loves TV! ;)

J.

Pixie said...

D
C
C
D
G
B


That was a great idea!!, If only I was as witty...

nikki said...

1 A, but the kid is cool too.

2 C, internet stalking and such. Good times. Actually, I'm not surprised, no one comments me. I'm not that witty and funny to anyone but me.

3 E, my life has been revealed (to myself) to be superior because I like cooler comic book guys than Corky does

4 no idea why a god of any sort would waste their time. I'm going with none of the above, sorry

5 still, none of the above

6 d because I guess we all need to switch up once in awhile.

Keshi said...

Nice one Captain!


1. I visit Corky's log daily because:

B. I'm here to hunt fresh game.
:)



2. When Corky doesn't comment on a post that I've written:

B. I Check TV Land to see if... ...




3. Since reading Corky my life has:

B. Become enriched and full and my heart is light where it was once heavy.



4. If God were going to talk to Corky he would do it:

A. By leaving a comment on his blog.



5. If I could have sex with Corky it would be:

A. On the beach.
;-)



6. Corky is my hero and I worship him because:

B. God let me down a long time ago.



Honest answers there! hehehehe...
Keshi.

neroli said...

Ode to Corky:
My dear, I knew I loved the Log when I saw The Hooker, and you professed your affinity for Rothko.
And spelled out your wife so she could sleep.
And when you said you hated that confounded Rocky Road, every fiber of my being was shouting "asshole" with you.
And my pal Purple Worms luvs ya---what more do we need?!?

Pud said...

1. I visit Corky's log daily because:
A. Corky cracks my shit up!

2. When Corky doesn't comment on a post that I've written:
B. I Check TV Land to see if there's a Star Trek marathon on.

3. Since reading Corky my life has:
A. been turned upside down because I'm in love with him.

4. If God were going to talk to Corky he would do it:
A. By leaving a comment on his blog.

5. If I could have sex with Corky it would be:
C. In a shady motel at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

6. Corky is my hero and I worship him because:
C. drugs and booze just don't do if for me anymore.

Crashdummie said...

1 – D (your inner child that is – Max is just a huge bonus)
2 – A (my posts are more or less a homage 4 you, how can you not see that)
3 – D (I finally found someone who still hasn’t outgrown their superhero fixation)
4 – D (sometimes you can find clarity in haze)
5 - / (what abt never – gonna be a nun remember)
6 - / (he is “special”)

Heart Of Darkness said...

Um... like father, like son? LOL

Debs said...

1. A,D
2.B
3.D
4.D
5.....I could never cheat on my hubby. (sorry you will be missing out on the best sex) *LOL*
6.C

Love the choices.

Aunt Jackie said...

BWAHAHAH!! #2 cracked me up!!! lol
Ok, here goes.

1. A
2. C
3. C (but not completely, just a little) lol
4. C.
5. G (of course)
6. A

Fun stuff!

Tink said...

Here's my answers:
1. E. Who's Corky? This isn't Dooce.com?
2. E. I didn't even know Corky could read!
3. E. Gone right down the shitter. Thanks Corky! I'm blaming you for the demonic fridge.
4. E. By giving him a birthmark in the shape of Jeebus.
5. H. While having an out of body experience.
6. E. Because he's one helluva guy.

captain corky said...

Princess: Great answers!!! I saw Trekkies, it really freaky and funny. I laughed my ass off when the kid screamed at his friend and then hangs up on him. Star Trek is very serious business.

Alicia: Hope you're having a good time on vacation.

Jamie: Great answers!!!. Me a nut?!? That's impossible, I hate nuts in my chocolate marshmallow ice cream. ;)


Hoosiergirl5: Great answers!!! I live a little to close to some of those motels. ;)

Pixie: Great Answers!!! Your blog is just as fun and witty! I love reading it, and I'm glad you're back.

captain corky said...

Nikki: Great answers!!! Aren't DC comics just the greatest. ;)

Keshi: Great answers!!! Honesty is the best policy here at the log. ;)

Neroli: I'm very flattered, and blushing a little too. ;)

Pud: Great answerers!!! Shady Motels seems to be a very popular answer.

Crashdummie: Great answers. When I read your blog I do get the sense that you're really only talking to me.

captain corky said...

Heart: Exactly! Sometimes we call ourselves the Incredible's. ;)

Debs: Great answers!!! Your husband is one very lucky man. ;)

Aunt Jackie: Great answers!!! I think the bridge is the most popular answer to question number 5

Tink: Great answers!!! What kind of music is playing in the background during our out of body experience?

Maureen said...

1 C & D
2 B
3 D
4 B
5 your're too young for me
6 c

captain corky said...

Great Answers Maureen!!! I haven't heard someone say that I'm too young for anything in quite sometime. ;)

Sunshine said...

You smoked the weed to get rid of the cold, didn't ya?

honkeie2 said...

1)B
2)D-give me your number-DICK(or maybe you prefeer RICHARD)
3)C
4)B
5) Well I think he would have to shave his ass, remove his twing and two berries, have a sex change, go through hormone therapy and get red hair plugs and then and only then would I say C
6) C