Monday, September 24, 2007

Back in the Kentucky Groove


Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to do any fishing with Max last week while we were in New Jersey. But then again, if I wanted to do some fishing with my son NJ would be the last place on earth I would go. Unless we were going on a boat in the ocean and fishing for Fluke or Blue Fish. Then NJ would be a great place to go for a fishing trip.

I've only been back in KY for about 36 hours, and already shit is crazy. I'm working my ass off this week, I started my diet for the eight hundred and 37th time this year, and to top if all off, I started chewing gum again. I just couldn't help myself...

Those fuckers at the convenient store always put gum right in front of my face as I'm trying to check out with my stuff, In today's case a small 24 ounce cup of coffee with 3 Splendas and 4 Half and Half's. I saw the "New Look, Same Long Lasting Flavor" WildBerry Extra as I approached the counter at Super America (gas station/convenient store) and I couldn't control myself. My knees got weak, I started sweating profusely, I was drooling on myself uncontrollably, and before I new it I was chewing 4 pieces and blowing the world's largest bubbles. Oh well, I guess there are worst things I could be chewing, like Spaghettio cud for example.

In other news my diet is going great. I'm having three pieces of Extra for Dinner, and a pot of coffee. It's great to be back, but damn it's hot in Kentucky!

64 comments:

The Lone Beader said...

I think you'll get even more hungry chewing all that gum! LOL.

Tod said...

Yeah, those fuckers at the store. It's all their fault I ate three cream cakes yesterday.

When I'm twenty stone I'm gonna roll over there and squish their skinny arses.

Jay said...

It's the same with those ruthless bastards at the liquor store who put the big "Beer on Sale!!!!" signs up.

gawilli said...

Its hot in Indiana, too. 90 today. I hope to be Kentucky bound in just about a month. Hopefully it will be cooler by then!

Princess Pointful said...

You know what gets me? All these fun fruit-slash-mint gums. They freshen your breath and taste like random exotic fruits!
Can't resist.

Sunshine said...

Same store made my buy Spearmint Altoids yesterday. And my breath didn't even stink. Bastards!

I love Opie, looks like my Zach.

qofd said...

Ok, that Spaghettio cud comment made me urp up a little. Gross.

Canadian flake said...

it's a conspiracy I tell ya...I mean it..

first it is gum chewing..then they take over your mind...then the world..

Where is Kirk when we need him..lmao.

Cheryl said...

Welcome back. You don't have to worry about dieting. I'm doing it for both of us. Maybe barium has a special fat-burning additive. If so, expect to lose about 5 pounds this week.

HoosierGirl5 said...

It's only hot in Kentucky 'cause you're back in it, baby!

I was wondering if you were ever going to post again!

How's Max?

J.

Biddie said...

Man can not live on gum alone....

Nancy said...

I can pass on gum, it's those darn cinnamon Mentos that I have to stay clear of.

I love Opie Taylor ... especially the way he says "Paw" with his freckled scrunched up face.

TheBirdman33 said...

that is quite the interesting diet.

If only I liked coffee, I would be dropping the pounds away.

TheBirdman33 said...

you have to take him fishing on the Passaic, it's tradition.

IN POINT OF FACT, you have to ride your bikes to the Passaic River and then go fishing with him. I will bring the Better Cheddars

Peggy said...

The SMALL 24 oz cup? Perhaps you were trying to be funny there, but what then pray tell is the large?

If you were serious about loosing weight, then you'd cut out the coffee and drink (sorry about this) water.

I loved the picure of Andy and Opie. They just don't make shows like that anymore, do they?

jAMiE said...

Gum...mmmm, i could go for some right now, but i'm a swallower...i chew it for a bit then swallow it a little at a time. I know 'they' say it's bad for you ...but i'm trying to live a little dangerously...in my own way.

Jerrster said...

I'm glad I got over here and Max is still a baby...and you haven't figured out a way to wear him as a hat....or have you?

captain corky said...

Beader: Judging from the way my stomach is growling I would say that you are right. ;)

Tod: Those fuckers at the store are responsible for a lot of shit. Let's get them all!

Jay: I'm the biggest sucker I know for the 18 pack. What a great deal.

Gawilli: My cohorts at work say it's going to cool off very soon. I'll believe that when I see it.

Princess: I love erotic fruit flavored gum. Er... I mean exotic fruit flavored gum.

captain corky said...

Sunshine: I think Opie will make a great role model for Max. I'm definitely steering clear of Arnold Drumond.

Queen: I'm usually not that gross. I just couldn't resist.

Flake: Exactly, They start controlling our young with candy, and then Television and then finally drugs... We have no hope.

That's not exactly true... We do have Corky's log! ;)

Cheryl: I got one of those Balance Balls, do you think I should blow it up, and use it today? After all today is the first day of the rest of my life. ;)

Hoosiergirl5: Max is doing great, and you can always count on the log and my posts. ;)

captain corky said...

Biddie: Some drugs would be nice too, but I have a kid so I'm playing it cool this week. ;)

Nancy: How come it only took Opie 20 minutes to learn life lessons and It taken me over 30 just toget the basics down? ;)

Birdman: We've got he mighty Ohio here. It's plenty of polluted. Trust me. But you can come fishing with us when you visit.

Peggy: I never try to be funny. Never.

As for water, fuck that noise. Just kidding, water it is. ;)

Jamie: I say enjoy it. If I listened to everything "they" said, I'd be too scared to get out of bed in the morning. ;)

Jerrster: I'm trying man, I'm trying. ;)

Big Pissy said...

good to hear about your diet and all, but where's the daily photo of Max?!?!?

I miss him! :)

Terri said...

well welcome back. I thought I would have at least three posts while I was gone on vacation to catch up with but there was only one! Speaking of favorite gum; Trident Tropical Twist is the best! By the way, Max is looking cuter every day and I just started weight watchers this week. Ugggh!

Crashdummie said...

that diet is ulcers best friend... great to have you back cc, you've been missed!

Guilty Secret said...

Welcome back. We missed you!

RockDog said...

At least the convenient store isn't selling anal lube...think of the trouble you'd have with the impulse purchase!

karma lennon said...

Awesome, a fellow gum addict!!!! I never go anywhere without it. You'd think it would've helped me quit smoking by now but no. And yay for the diet going well! My not eating thing seems to be resulting in weight loss too. ;)

Gina said...

We missed ya! Glad to have you back! At first I thought we just lost you to football, but then I remembered where you were!

Lady K said...

LOL! I've been getting hooked on gum AND Spaghettio's lately. Too funny...

her indoors said...

started the 'cabbage soup' diet yesterday and ended it yesterday too, spent too much time on the toilet, no wonder you loose weight!
diets suck fed up of them!

Burfica said...

I love gum but can only chew it for about 20 minutes. My jaw locks up. stupid thing.

I got my popcorn and coffee diet going though. hehehehe

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Why is gum bad? What am I missing?

Also, Corky, I mention you by name in my post today.

dilling said...

I was wondering where you were...
sounds like gum is kinda like your kryptonite or something...hopefully it will help with the diet...I myself haven't found anything to help in that department...
welcome home

marykay said...

Glad your back! Anytime you are in Tx. Tim will take you and Max fishing just no dancing he says it scares the fish, go figure and why are you on a diet?

Pink said...

live a little.

have some extra extra...then we can read all about it.
xx
pinks

etain_lavena said...

when I chew gum I am so hungry and at night I dream my teeth are stuck together by gum...Crazy....shame max must be enjoying nu clear fishing..whahaha..HUGZ

I tagged you on my blog.
HUGZ

Aunt Jackie said...

What's wrong with gum?!? I think it's got some benefits...

Anyways, It's hell out there, so BEST of Luck on the diet... I know it is hard.

Have a great week!

Heather said...

Welcome back...only 4 half and halfs in that coffee??

Enemy of the Republic said...

Kentucky versus New Jersey--I almost moved there once.

Angela said...

Being a man and calling himself a barn swallow is totally gross.

I didn't read the post, I couldn't get past that really.

mjd said...

I am sorry to hear about your gum addiction. Maybe you can find a local 12-step program to commiserate with others about the evils of gum chewing.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I don't think that there is anything wrong with chewing gum. As long as it's sugarless I say go fot it.

I'm very big on bubble blowing too.

captain corky said...

Pissy: I'll post a pic of Max in my next post. He misses you too. ;)

Terri: Thanks. Good luck with Weight Watchers! I've seen it work for a lot of people.

Crashdummie: Thanks! It's glad to be back to blogging. I'm not so sure about work however. ;)

Guilty Secret: Thanks. I missed you guys too.

Rockdog: I do my best to stay away from anal lube, but sometimes...

captain corky said...

Karma: Right now I have a really bad toothpick habbit too. I would like to replace it with gum, but I don't think that's going to happen.

Gina: Thanks. My vacation was great and I ate lots of great food, butIt's good to be back home.

Lady K: Should I be ashamed of myself for the fact that I still eat Spaghettio's at 36? ;)

Her Indoors: I don't think I could do a cabbage soup diet. I do like kimchi though.

Burfica: I have this really bad toothpick habbit that makes me bite down on my teeth really hard sometimes, but the good news is that it helps me stay off tobacco.

captain corky said...

[Cherry] Ride: Thanks for mentioning me in your post dude. I love reading about myself. ;)

Dilling: I've got lots of different types of Kryptonite. Tobacco, gambling and TV just to name a few of my favorite addictions. ;)

Marykay: I may take Tim up on that offer some day. I need to lose some weight because I've been eating way too much. I don't feel great right now.

Pink: L I V I N, that's what Captain Corky does! ;)

Etain: I think a picture of your teeth stuck together would make an awesome picture. If only I were an artist.., ;)

captain corky said...

Aunt Jackie: Thanks. Nothing wrong with gum as long as you don't chew too much. That's according to Willy Wonka.

Heather: Yeah, it was still a little dark for my tastes. ;)

Enemy: Kentucky versus New Jersey might make for a good post one of these days. ;)

Angela: "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams."

Do birds make you sick? I don't understand?!?

http://www.birds.cornell.edu/AllAboutBirds/BirdGuide/Barn_Swallow_dtl.html

MJD: Have I ever told you about my 346 other addictions? ;)

captain corky said...

Whim: I always buy sugar free gum unless I'm at work and get screwed by the vending machines. But now I wont buy any gum out of the machine if it's not sugar free. Hope all is well with you. ;)

Casdok said...

You only have 346??
Its raining here in the UK.

Love the diet!

Keshi said...

I miss Max pic :(

btw di they hv KFC outlets there? :)

Keshi.

Debs said...

I am a gum addict. I chew gum to relax. I blow bubbles to annoy others. If I am really upset I will chew 3 pieces of gum and chomp hard. I heart gum!

Blancodeviosa said...

Ummm.. How do you fish with Max? Please don't say bait..

Emmeline said...

Welcome back! It's still hot in Kentucky? It's getting chilly in my corner of the country.

Em

furiousBall said...

One of these times in your Jersey forrays you should alert me and I'll be sure to fend off our gum supplies during your visit.

Cazzie!!! said...

LOL, ya know that drooling is not a good look right? Welcome back mate

kat said...

Oh my god are you serious about the gum? Why are you trying NOT to chew gum? Isn't chewing gum supposed to fight cavities and shit?

nikki said...

Just saying hi. I guess I don't know the problem with gum.

eric1313 said...

I can relate--Juicy Fruit is an addiction on par with reefer, at least to me.

Kentucky fishing is great, I've heard. As long as you can find a place that isn't fished out. Bass get a lot nigger the farther south you go. I love bass fishing. Up hear, we have tons of walleye in the Great Lakes, and they get huge. And Pike and Muskie, they get monstrous, the colder the wayer, the bigger. Either one has to practically be beaten to death, too. Their teeth and alligator like snouts will rip the skin off of your whole finger. I saw it happen once. An old lady landed a three and a half foot pike, and it bit her a little, enough to bleed. This arabic guy walked over, said he'd help and jammed his finger right in the thing's mouth. It clamped down and he yanked his finger back out, minus all the skin. What a bloody mess. Pike fishermen usually have a billy club in their tackle box. I've heard of people shooting them!

captain corky said...

Casdok: The diet's going good so far, but I to add a sandwich or two to it. ;)

Keshi: Louisville is the world HQ of KFC. LOL

Debs: Cracking gum to annoy people is a lot of fun. :)

Blancodeviosa: Max and I do all sorts of things together, most of it takes place in my head however. ;)

Emmeline: It's actually been raining for the last two days so I think things are finally cooling down here.

captain corky said...

Furiousball: You mean you didn't hear the angels singing as my car crossed the PA/NJ Border? ;)

Cazzie: Ladies love the drooling, but from Max not me. ;)

Kat: That's what those bastard gum people say. ;)

Nikki: Hello. Good to see you. :)

Eric1313: Bass is good here, but Catfish is the king fish here. I've caught some really nice ones, and I love to eat them. I prefer trout fishing over all other kinds of fishing, but the trout fishing isn't really that good around here.

david mcmahon said...

G'day Cap'n Corky,

Hot in Kentucky, is it? Perfect for fishing, then ....

Hope you enjoyed `dinner'.

Cheers

David

Webmiztris said...

let me get this straight - you're trying to lay off on the gum habit? lol! you goody-two shoes! ;)

etain_lavena said...

hope your good....hugz:)

Tink said...

I don't understand... What's so bad about gum?? *She says as she pops another stick in her mouth*

BottleBlonde said...

Gum and coffee. The breakfast of champions! (and cokewhore supermodels)

CRUSTYBEEF said...

better than smokes and coffee..I'll trade habits with you!!
Always,
Crusty~