Thursday, September 27, 2007

Thank God for Television


It's clear that a lot of you don't understand the trials and tribulations that compulsive gum chewing can cause, and that's why I've hunted down the perfect video on You Tube to help you understand this devastating addiction much better. But before we get to that I just wanted to say, Thank God for Television.

As much as I love my wife and my kid I've been starving for some fresh television. I mean, we were getting so bored around here we actually thought about breaking out the checkers board. Luckily it's not 1935 and we found programs to watch on cable, like NFL Total Access and um... NFL Total Access.

But the 2007/2008 TV Season is finally here! So far on our weekly agenda we have Monday Night Football, Heroes, Law and Order Criminal Intent, Private Practice (New show starring Kate Walsh and some others), Without a Trace, Grey's Anatomy, Legion of Superheroes and The Batman (Saturday morning cartoon) and Smallville. I know I'm leaving off some shows on this list, but I don't want people to think that we watch too much television. Oh and obviously I still watch Bonanza and Star Trek on TV Land, and Football all day on Sundays, but those shows don't count and Football is not television. I just wonder what I'm going to do with the rest of my time...


61 comments:

Jay said...

Now I know you watched Bionic Woman right? Sure you did! It wasn't as good as I had hoped it would be, but I'll give it another chance. And Cane, surely you watched that too! I tried to watch "Life" but that guy whispered the whole show. That was annoying.

captain corky said...

Jay we forgot to set up the DVR for Bionic Woman, but I'm going to watch it on the Internet this weekend.

Sunshine said...

Great minds, Cork. In my TV addict post I even forgot a couple, I kind of feel like should redo it.

And any Willy Wonka moment is an excellent Willy Wonka moment.

Cheryl said...

22 minutes till Gray's Anatomy. Who's anxious?

captain corky said...

Sunshine: I always leave out a gem or two. It's heartbreaking that there's not enough time in one day to watch all the TV that needs to be watched.

Cheryl: I'll have to watch tomorrow because I'm off to work in a few. I hope you recorded Smallville tonight.

neroli said...

Corky, you're killin' me!
Tonight our satellite provider was out due to storms.
We didn't miss it all that much...
I'm loving the video.
One of our kiddos is a doppelganger of MikeTV---always talking, talking, talking.
Oh, yeah, and the other kiddo that perseverates on Wonka.
"I've got a blueberry for a daughter" is one of many lines he can deliver with perfect replication.
Now I need another glass of wine ;)!

Keshi said...

cute cute Max!

I dun watch much TV...I really cant stand it except for very few shows :)

Keshi.

The Lone Beader said...

I hate ta break it to ya, but there ARE other things in this world besides TV.. LOL.

marykay said...

DVR is the greatest thing but can't erase never know when Ash might have a meltdown and need Timmy Turner, Violet is living proof why I do not chew gum.

Lady K said...

LMAO! OH, Cork, this is SO weird! My brother used that EXACT line tonight. I said something about "Oompahland" and he says, "Why, Violet, you're turning VIOLET!" It was a great laugh!

BTW, one of my favorite movies of all time...

AND, Max looks SO cute with that football. I'm sure he'll grow into it. ;)

captain corky said...

Neroli: The movie is simply brilliant, thanks to Gene Wilder who is one of the most brilliant comedians of all time. Can I come over for a glass of wine sometime? I love wine, and Vodka, and beer and whiskey and... ;)

Keshi: Anyone who thinks Max is cute is A number 1 in my book. :)

Beader: Like what? ;)

Marykay: DVR is the greatest invention since the wheel and television itself. LOL

Lady K: One of my favorite movies of all time too. It might be the first or second DVD I ever bought. I can't remember. Max just loves football, and TV. ;)

Cazzie!!! said...

I had the same outfit for my boys..same stripes and everything!!

Nancy said...

Violet Beauregaurde , lol ... I love Willy Wonka .... but not the Johnny Depp version .... he was too Michael Jacksonish for me.

Max is looking sweeeeeeeeeeeeet

Pink said...

me loves heros. we get your shows a year later so now i finally understand the whole save the cheerleader thing.

chew chew baby!
xx
pinks

abbagirl74 said...

I love Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! I love this clip.

Grey's Anatomy was great last night! I am also an addict of the The Office.

furiousBall said...

Exactly. And that's why God waited so long to create TV, he needed to perfect the whole creating shit thing on the dumb stuff like animals and oceans, he knew how important TV is.

Gina said...

Listen, I loves me some Gene Wilder! I would have to say that Blazing Saddles is his best movie, followed really closely by Young Frankenstein.

And, I love how the football is almost bigger than Max!

I need to get a DVR.

Biddie said...

I always thought that Gene Wilder was a bit creepy as Wonka. Then I saw Johnny Depps version.
*shudder*
Are you watching Heroes? You've KC hooked on Smallville, now, thank you very much. SIGH. I don't care for it - James Marsters is gone.
How cute is Max? keep those pictures coming:)

nikki said...

Ok, I was so going to make a post on my blog about tv shows. I'm still going to do it though. (Even if I'm a copy cat!) Anyway, I'll be the first to say I can't watch willy wonka. I get a migraine from it. I know it's a good movie, but I can't tolerate being sick.

Oh, and I like the johnny Depp version. I know, blasphemy.

And I also don't watch Greys.

Off to the dvr!

BottleBlonde said...

Spend the rest of your time watching The Real World. That's quality TV there.

Emmeline said...

You didn't name a single one of my favorite shows. What about:

The Office
CSI (the original)
Back To You (new one with Kelsey Grammer - really funny!)
Scrubs
How I Met Your Mother

I really hope your watching of The Private Practice & Grey's Anatomy are only because your wife forces you to, not because you're actually interested in those shows! Come on, those shows are TERRIBLE! You have disappointed me. Severely.

Em

RockDog said...

"She needs to be squuezed immediatly!"

Not sure why, but that made me laugh like a crazy little squirrel.

Tod said...

I love The Shopping Channel and Judge Judy pretty much for the same reason...I can't believe the shit that is happening in front of my eyes.

Blancodeviosa said...

T.V's highly overrated. It all seems like crap. Well except the food network. They rock@!

Burfica said...

I would list all the shows we watch in the new season but then you would think all we do is watch t.v.

soooo not true. All we do is record t.v., since we are so busy. Then all we do is bitch all weekend that we don't have enough time to watch the recorded shows. Yeah it's tough. But somebody has to do it. hehehehe

kat said...

Um... you left off a LOT of shit that I thought for sure you'd be watching.

AND YOU NEVER GOT TO THE GUM. WHAT THE HELL???? STAY TUNED TEASERS ON BLOGS? ARE COMMERCIALS NEXT????????

Princess Pointful said...

In high school drama, I wrote a skit based on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, in which all of the kids (except for Charlie) were interviewed on the news.
Believe it our not, I played Miss Violet Beauregard.
So, though Method acting, I know what you are going through.

eric1313 said...

I know what you mean about compulsive gum chewing--you wear your teeth down!

Besides the Blueberry effect, anyway.

I'm still waiting for proffesional football to come back to Detroit. The Li-downs can win a ouple games here and there, but they can't fool me.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

How could you not mention Bionic Woman??

dilling said...

criminal intent was bumped to usa or something, wasn't it? we don't have that here, so I am hoping it is still on the same canadian channel...otherwise you will have to record it for me(only every other week with Vincent, pleeze)...Heroes was good, eh? That seems to be our only overlap...Boston Legal, Monk, Criminal Intent, Medium....gah, I watch too much tv...wait, did I just say that?!?

Tink said...

I would like to report that I have NEVER turned into a blueberry by chewing gum. There was one time I resembled a snosberry, but that was due to a whole bunch of alcohol and a jug of purple kool-aid. Totally not gum related.

gawilli said...

Yep. Football season. I'll see my husband sometime next year.

neroli said...

Captain, there will *always* be a bottle here with your name on it.

I love both versions of the movie equally---Gene and Johnny have always been some of my best favorites.
And Gene in "Blazing Saddles"?
Don't get me started :)

captain corky said...

Cazzie: I think it's made by Carter, and we have every color they make. :)

Nancy: I'm not a big fan of the Depp version either, but I like him in just about everything else he's done.

Pink: Season two of Heroes looks like it's going to be even better than season 1. I like that in my TV. ;)

Abbagirl74: I watched the office for the first time when I was in NJ. It's not bad. At some point I plan on catching up with it.

Furiousball. Exactly. He's just getting around to HDTV and there have been oceans and elephants on the planet for billions and billions of years.

captain corky said...

Gina: DVR is a must. Life without it isn't any kind of life at all. ;)

Biddie: As soon as I get you and KC hooked on Bonanza my work here will be done. ;)

Nikki: I'm looking forward to checking out you post. Glad to see you back. :)

Bottleblonde: I do not to support MTV in anyway. Ever since they took Beavis and Butt-Head off the air my life has never been the same.

Emmeline: I flirted a little bit with the office while I was in NJ, and will probably start watching it. I'm also recording the show after How I Met Your Mother starring that kid from Garden State.

captain corky said...

Rockdog: I hope you're not banging your head into trees like crazy little squirrels do. That would smart a lot.

Tod: I grew up in a town full of Judge Judies so I could do without that show. But the shopping channel is great! I just ordered an assortment of 150 knives for my killer knife collection, including a samurai sword. Cause that's exactly what my living room is missing.

Blancodeviosa: How could you say that? TV is one of God's great miracles. ;)

Burfica: My wife keeps our DVR spotless. If it's over 50 percent full she starts to tweak. LOL

Kat: No commercials yet, but I love plugging products that I use, like Golden Crown Sparkling Seltzer Water from Kroger (Shop Rite of the South).

captain corky said...

Princess: Very cool. It's not available on You Tube is it? ;)

Eric1313: They don't fool me either, but still 2 and 1 is not bad in September for the Cowardly Lions.

[Cherry] Ride: I need to watch that on the Internet this weekend! I mean to Tivo it.

Dilling: No, USA just shows their repeats. My wife watches Medium. I think it's pretty good too, but I don't watch it religiously. Yet. ;)

Tink: Whoever heard of a Snosberry? Not even my Spell Check has. ;)

captain corky said...

Gawilli: Luckily my wife likes football a little, but she's not into as much this year now that she's a mom. :)

Neroli: Very Nice!

Johnny has a lot of talent and I really like his movies, but that one I can't sit through.

mjd said...

I see that Corky Jr. is ready to watch some football. Even though I do not watch much television, I always like the new season of programs. I did watch Grey's Anatomy and ER as I am a medical show addict. Grey's Anatomy was kind of a let down as a season opener.

The Oompa Loompa song used to scare my five year old son. I guess that he perceived that old Wonka was up to no good.

nikki said...

I am back KINDA. I don't know why I'm not online more. OH IT PROBABLY is the tv. :) I'll post on my own EVENTUALLY.

her indoors said...

football/soccer/cricket i am not amused, if he isn't watching it on tv he is refereeing/umpiring/lining or reporting!

karma lennon said...

I don`t really watch t.v. So I haven`t seen any of those shows you mentioned but I did watch one last night I liked. It`s called "Moonlight" and is about a vampire detective. I think I`m hooked!

Jenny! said...

The new show Reaper is pretty fucking funny too!

Canadian flake said...

dearrrrrrrr dearrrrrrrr diluted corky...do you not release that we already KNOW you watch too much TV...it comes hand in hand with being a trekkie...

don't worry baby...it is out of your control and we all still love you...lol.

I watched the premiere of Bionic Woman...I am not sure what to think..it was a bit of a disappointment to me...she sure is no Lindsay Wagner...maybe it is the hair??? LOL?

Tod said...

What, you mean there's a NEW Bionic Woman? I thought you were talking bout the old one! We are so behind over here in the UK.

So what's it like? Does she still wear polyester flared pantsuits? Has she been upgraded with flamethrower boobs? I MUST KNOW!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

My kids just watched that dvd the wonka factory the other day..poor charlie bucket..CHEER UP!! You'll get more tv time..
Greys is our fav too-along with las vegas, criminal minds, Numbers, two and a half men, how I met your mother, umm..yeah, the list continues.
Always,
Crusty~
GO CUBS!

Big Pissy said...

Corky! You have GOT to watch 'Reaper" on FOX...you'll love it~I promise! and 'Dirty, Sexy, Money' on ABC...great stuff! ;-)

Betty Boob Hug said...

Aussie tv is not always very good -actually we only get 5 stations where I am and so I paid to get foxtel (cable tv) and now I have the choice of at least another 300 channels of crap!

Am enjoying the re-runs. What can I say? Am stuck in the past.
Go go go Brady Bunch!

Chucky said...

Oh that is a great movie.

etain_lavena said...

jello, love Charlie, me and my Roald Dahl facination....hihih....anyways....TV is always good.
Hope you have a great week.
HUGZ

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Tonight's my favorite night for Boob Tubing: Curb Your Enthusiasm and Californication. Tomorrow it's Heroes, when I get to perv on the cheerleader.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

She's 18 now.

TheBirdman33 said...

you forgot your favorite new CBS show The Big Bang Theory!!

TheBirdman33 said...

My nephew looks adorable as ever.

I am gonna have to teach him how to tackle someone when he gets just a little bigger.

Peggy said...

Our TV broke and we don't have a back up. In fact it is the back up TV that has broken, our family TV went kaput in July. We now have to BUY a new one. Until then, we have no telly in the house at all!

the suit case said...

this is for Peggy:( no Telly at all. not even a DVD player or how about youre computer you can look up highlights of what you missed and also watch movies or shows that you own.

need more Corky Jr. video. not More Wonka video.

Emmeline said...

In response to your response to me: The Big Bang Theory is the one that comes on after How I Met Your Mother. A very funny show. I'm a fan. :)

Em

Spamboy said...

So what if people think you watch too much television? Pile it on -- the offerings have become quite good in the past few years.

Debs said...

I have not seen a clip from Willy Wonka in forever.

I must find my gum.

The Adult in Question said...

Did you watch the Season Premiere of Smallville? It was pretty good.

Heather said...

List schmist.

That's just a smattering. Pfft.