Saturday, March 01, 2008

March Mania


I've got a lot to cover in this post, so please bear with me.

On March 6th Max will be 8 months old. Time sure does fly after a person turns 21...

Next comes March 9th: Daylight Saving Time Begins. In order to adjust to this difficult shift in time I'm going to need to sleep 4 extra hours on March 8th, and 2 additional hours on March 10th.

March 17th is St. Patrick's Day which means that I'm gonna be eating fried fish, and drinking green beer anywhere from March 15th to the 17th, because for some strange reason, people in America celebrate St. Patrick's Day for days, and sometimes weeks.

Next comes March 20th and Spring begins. Hopefully it will be warm, because women do not like to wear clothes when the weather breaks for the first time after a long cold Winter. Can't wait! I'll probably hit the parks first, then I'll head over to the University of Louisville and finally the malls after it gets dark. I'll bring Max along cause he'll wanna see this shit for himself, and people will be too distracted by him to see what my true motive is. But don't worry, I'm not a fucking pervert. I just have Spring Fever.

The week after Spring begins my Mother comes to town to visit. That means that I'll have to get my Spring cleaning in by the weekend of the 22nd. I usually wait to NFL Draft day in April to do my spring cleaning, because it's really easy to coordinate different tasks between draft picks, but this year I'll be done already, so I'll just lay on the couch, drink beer and scratch my balls during the draft.

Finally, Easter is on the 23rd (Thanks, Jenny). I know they'll be showing the 10 Commandments (starring Charlton Heston) sometime during the Holiday weekend, so I'll have to be on the look out for that, cause last year my DVR fucked up during the recording. I sent my cable company a very angry letter about this, and I'm still waiting to hear back from the bastards!

And guess what? TV FINALLY RETURNS at the end of March beginning of April. Now I can quit that damn bowling league I joined during the Strike, and find fulfillment and purpose again. Thank God.

54 comments:

RockDog said...

"But don't worry, I'm not a fucking pervert. I just have Spring Fever."

I wonder if I could use tis excuse also...Hmmmm

Jahooni said...

i love funny. this post was just that. i can relate to everything you said and then some...
oh wait, i don't have balls to scratch or a baby boy to walk around the mall... nevermind. ;)~

DJ Kirkby said...

As usual seemingly effortlessly funny....I am begining to hate you!

Leighann said...

What the hell is that yellow thing on the side of Max's bed? A foothold for him to climb out?

Spring Fever.... I've had that since the second day of Winter!

Dana said...

I'm thrilled to hear that your trolling with Max. It's always important to set a good example!

I don't like to wear clothes in the winter either!

Crashdummie said...

Is it just me or is Max getting cuter every time i see him? 8 months?! omg, time is not flying, its getting beemed up by scotty!

Tod said...

And before we know it, it will be Christmas. Woohoo!

Justin's Mom said...

Hope this doesn't mess up your schedule, but Easter is March 23...

Max is so cute and is getting so big! Can't believe he's almost 8 months old...

captain corky said...

Rockdog: It didn't go over so well when I got caught streaking during a baseball game that one time, but I'm sure there are plenty of other times where that excuse is more than applicable. ;)

Jahooni: I can't really explain it, but I think It's a good thing you don't have balls. If you did I would probably be replying to Jahimmi's comment. ;)

DJ Kirkby: But, I love you! ;)

Leighann: It's a small music box that plays classical music. It is time to lower his mattress though, and teach him how to drive. ;)

Dana: Clothes are very overrated. Especially on women. ;)

captain corky said...

Crashie: Exactly! No matter how hard I try I can't seem to stop it either. This will teach me for throwing that clock out the window all those years ago. ;)

Tod: You know it, brother. I'm already getting the house ready. ;)

Justin's Mom: Thanks for setting me straight! I corrected that slight little oversight. Luckily I haven't coordinated my schedule with the boss yet. ;)

Farmer*swife said...

Kids are great, except when they interupt my blogging. Just wait till he's walking and talking and following you EV-ER-Y-WHERE. :0)

Your schedule sounds booked up like mine. I turned the page of my calendar over and realized that "technically" after today, March is gone.

And, it's all every body elses crap and nothing fun for me on there.

Hmpf. Happy Saturday!

The Lone Beader said...

8 months????

Where does the time go?? :0

fiwa said...

Dude, a tip for you when trolling the malls with Max. Sit down on a bench and hold him in your lap. That way chicks will have to bend over, thus displaying the rack, to play with the cutest baby ever.

Hey, weren't we promised some more video of Max?!

Yours in spring fever,
fiwa

katie said...

don't quit bowling, man! i love to bowl. it's a fun time. i was on a team called the Fucking Losers. no lie, corkster. true story. i did not come up with that name. cuz we won the mother effing trophy, baby!!

okay, where was i? your kid. so darn cute, Corky!

Have a great weekend! :)

Palm Springs Savant said...

Green beer. That's what I'm talkin about! I love me some green beer. Will Max get some green apple juice??

furiousBall said...

you know who has two thumbs and will be turning 37 on St. Patty's Day?

that's right, this guy

HAR said...

What a damn cutie. I have spring fever too. BUT NOTHING beats the return of tv shows again.

Emmeline said...

Haha bowling league. Nice. I, too, anxiously await the return of television. Actually, though, the only show's return I'm obsessively waiting for to make sure I don't miss it, is The Office. There's a LOT of other TV I watch, but The Office is the only one I care about making SURE not to miss. The others will fall into place naturally once I start settling down to my evening routine TV schedule.

Em

Jay said...

I like the way you keep organized. You plan well in advance of these things so nothing sneaks up on you. That's good.

I'm glad you said "University of Louisville" and not "Louisville High School."

That would have been a bit disturbing.

Big Pissy said...

Good to know that you're not above using Max as a chick magnet.

I'm so proud of you!

p.s. Max is still the cutest baby in the world.

Until my first grandchild, that is. ;-)

mjd said...

Hi Corky,
I have been missing you and Max. I am glad to see the fabulous picture of fabulous Max. I also enjoyed your vodka entry with the fine musical choices.

captain corky said...

Farmer*Swife: I can accept Max interrupting my meals and my sleep, but if he thinks I'm going to tolerate him interrupting my blogging, he's got another thing coming. ;)

Beader: I have no idea, but I can't seem to stop it. ;)

Fiwa: Thanks for the tip! Without help from people like you, my life would be infinitely more difficult. ;)

I posted a new vid last week. Did you get a chance to catch it? More will definitely be coming. ;)

Katie: I like bowling, but nothing comes between me and my TV, except maybe a corner of the coffee table. :)

Palm Springs Savant: Not only will he drink green apple juice, but he'll also be eating green beans, and spinach during that week.

captain corky said...

Furiousball: Nice! Another great reason to drink like a fish, and eat lots of fried fish.

Har: Thanks! Nothing ever beats the return of TV. My broken heart will soon be mended. ;)

Emmeline: I bought my wife season 1 of the Office for Christmas. It's really funny. I'm actually excited for the return of the Big Bang Theory. That show cracks me up!

Jay: Don't worry, I won't be out trolling the high school. I'm not that big of a pervert. I wait at least until they get their diplomas. ;)

Big Pissy: You know me, anything for the cause! ;)

captain corky said...

MJD: Thanks! We've missed you too. School been busy?

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Sounds like you have your month nicely planned out.

I like the spring cleaning during the NFL Draft idea. Too bad you can't do it this year.

Emmeline said...

Yes, Big Bang Theory! And How I Met Your Mother! I love those shows.

Em

Patti said...

Is it wrong that, while all of those other things are great and all, NEW TV is the most exciting part of this post for me?!?

Well, and the picture of Max is pretty damn cute, too. :)

HoosierGirl5 said...

Thanks for laying out the month of March for all of us. But you left out a few important dates: March 24 - my oldest son, Joseph, will be 18; March 20-29 - my daughter Rachael goes to France.

What are you and Allyson doing for Spring Break?

J.

Ashley said...

Wow, that is a pretty full March. You forgot to mention the extra naps you are going to need to be ready for all of this. You may want to quit your job in order to be well-rested!

pilgrimchick said...

That is definitely an eventful month. I had no idea Daylight Savings was so early this year--or Easter. I should consult this blog for calendar updates more often.

Steph said...

Um, does St. Patrick's have to end? I mean really, does it? Because I find myself celebrating St. Patricks Day whenever I'm within arm's reach of an adult beverage. Or at least celebrating St. Paddy's is my excuse.

captain corky said...

Whim: Yeah, last year it really worked out well. Maybe I'll paint a room during the draft or something...

Emmeline: With a little bit of fine tuning, Big Bang Theory could be great.

Patti: Yeah, I'm a real freak for TV too. We got ripped off big time this year!

Hoosiergirl5: Allyson's been so busy that she'll probably sleep through a good part of Spring Break, and sadly, I have to work.

Ashley: That's not a bad idea! Fuck work. ;)

Pilgrimchick: I think Bush has something to do with changing Daylight Saving Time. It really doesn't make much sense...

captain corky said...

Steph: Good to hear from you! There's always a good reason to drink. We drunks just have to come up with a socially acceptable reason as often as we can. I get tired of having to hide my bottle of gin inside the toilet tank. ;)

Burfica said...

YOur march sounds about as busy as mine.

Get that boy to the park teach him about scantily clad women from the start. That's one thing I insisted Gigantor teach kiddo. hehehehehe

nikki said...

I start drinking on the 14th because it's my birthday. That and I like to drink GOOD vodka, not horse piss Smirnoff.

Portia said...

wow! from max & (half?) naked chicks to easter & your mom - i hope march 08 is all it promises to be and more:)

TheBirdman33 said...

Um Corky, I am all for drawing out St. Pats, as the token Irish guy in the crew, but why fried fish!?!?!?

Try Corned Beef and Cabbage and potatoes!

Canadian flake said...

There was a writers strike??? really?? awwwwww I didn't notice ...hee hee hee

Biscuit said...

I'm right there with you in looking forward to the first slutting of the season :) Bring on the short shorts and the tiny tight tanks!

abbagirl74 said...

You joined a bowling league? Were you able to get any strikes during the strike? You don't come across as a bowling league man.

captain corky said...

Burfica: It's right up there with making sure he's seen every episode of Star Trek by the time he's five, and teaching how to catch a ball. LOL!

Nikki: I think I'm going to have a drink on the 14th in honor of your birthday. ;)

Portia: So far it's moving along pretty good. I drove past the park the other day and there must have been 500 people there. Must be pretty close to Spring!

Birdman: There's a lot of Irish Pubs in this town, and they all serve fish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm sure they have corned beef too. And you know how I feel about potatoes. I like them almost as much as I like booze!

Flake: Well there was in Hollywood, but not here on the log. Here, I'll work for food. ;)

captain corky said...

Biscuit: I love the way you think!!!

Abbagirl74: I know, I'm definitely too cool for that. But I do like to bowl sometimes, and drink a few beers while I'm bowling.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Damnation, that is the cutest child in the world. Thanks...my ovaries are now aching.

Knight said...

That baby has a strong stance. It's almost like he knows you are about to take him out to watch the ladies.
I'm on to you and your baby, strange guy watching me at the park.

Gina said...

Look at that cutie pie!

I refuse to watch the Ten Commandments because Charlton Heston is a fucking freak.

Fridaysweb said...

Hmmm, I think everyone else pretty much covered it. The paranoid side of me would swear people were breaking the tinfoil-hat-barrier and stealing my thoughts. But, that would be just science fiction, eh? I'll babysit Max anytime. As long as I'm allowed to spoil him and let him do anything he wants. Okay?

Tink said...

It was a sad day for my brother when he got too old to grab chicks' boobs and have them say, "Awww. Isn't that cute?" I imagine it was a sad day for their Dad too. ;)

jAMiE said...

Here, here to your sentiments regarding tv returning...i can hardly wait!

jAMiE said...

ps...he is just SO darned cute!

Ms. Tuesday said...

excellent.. now i dont even have to check my calander all month! could you do this every month, tell me what important things are coming up? thanks champ.

captain corky said...

Real: Thanks! What are you waiting for, come on board!

Knight: Better not wear any leather to the park, that stuff drives me wild! ;)

Gina: Yeah, but Yvonne Decarlo wasn't. That's one of the major reasons why I watch it.

Friday: Max loves to be spoiled and he really loves to do whatever he wants. Good seeing you around these parts!

Tink: It's a sad day for all men when one of us loses our privileges. ;)

captain corky said...

Jamie: Thanks! Me either. I need fresh TV, my brain is starting to rot. ;)

Tuesday: No problem, Sport. ;)

Pink said...

good lord. i'm exhausted and its only the 5th.
xx
pinks

marykay said...

Happy 8 month birthday Max! Your month is pretty well full now. Wish I had your dedication;)