Sunday, March 09, 2008

Thunder Snow


It snowed a 11 inches between Friday and Saturday here in KY. Please don't let the big shit eatin' grins in this photo fool you... We hate fucking snow and everything about it.

First of all, snow is white. The gutters and trim on my house are also white and so are the clouds and most of my hat. All that white is very tacky. And do I really need to see blinding white everywhere I go? The worst thing about the color of snow is when I look out the window at it and then try to look at my TV, I start seeing spots all over the place and my eyes have trouble adjusting. Often I have to ask my wife what I missed because of my temporary blindness.

Secondly, it's wet. If I wanted wet I would go swimming or take a shower. I don't need wet, and I especially hate it when snow gets between my socks and my shoes. That's the absolute worst and I've never heard anybody talk about what an incredible sensation that is... I'm not really a big glove guy so snowballs, and igloos are out of the question.

Third of all, snow is really cold. I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but it can't snow unless it freezing. This means that I have to dress in layers to stay warm if I go outside. As a nudist I find this to be very destructive to the nature of my life style.

Fourth of all, I hate the way snow impacts the news. I can look outside my window to see that it's fucking snowing! I don't need to see the weatherman and all the idiot news broadcasters tell me that I should stay inside while it's snowing. Plus, with all the coverage that snow gets on these local broadcasts, I don't get my daily fix of doom and gloom. How many people were gunned down today? What catastrophic event wiped out a third world country? How bad is the economy? When does the Apocalypse start and do I still have time to accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour?

Finally, there's Thunder Snow. Instead of one inch or a half of inch falling per hour we get 3 inches falling per hour. It's absolute madness... Well, unfortunately we just had to deal with spending a weekend trapped inside our home with nothing to do, but eat like hogs, watch TV and movies, and spend time with our son... atleast Max finally got to wear that polar bear jumpsuit I bought for him before he was born.

68 comments:

Dana said...

I'm trying really hard to conjure up a little sympathy for you, but considering I've had 5' piles of snow at the end of my driveway since November, it's really hard!

I think that's the best pic I've seen of you and Max!!

katie said...

As a nudist myself, i totally understand what you're saying here. the snow really does cramp the nudist lifestyle! i concur, corkster. i am not a big fan of snow myself. thankfully, Georgia doesn't see much snow, although it was coming down yesterday morning and it was freezing! hated it! totally had to get dressed! damnit all! :)

that picture is just perfect. Max might be the cutest baby i have ever seen. and i've seen alotta babies, Corky. he's definitly in the top 5 cutest of all time!

Have a great Sunday!

The Lone Beader said...

First of all, you and the little superhero are looking great! :D
I hate the snow, and I also agree with you about the media thing. That is why I don't watch TV! LOL. And, I think it rained 11 inches here yesterday. Not fun, but it's sunny today.

gawilli said...

Yahoo! You finally got a load of snow...and I love that hat. Max's, too. Looks like a great weekend. Really.

Casdok said...

Max does look cute in his polar bear jumpsuit! Apprenlty the snow is on its way over here, but i doubt if there will be much left!

Melissa said...

Max looks so happy about the snow! Did you make a snowman? Hope you tooks lots of pics and video b/c a snow event like that probably wont take place again in KY until Max is in high school!

Jay said...

Nudists probably do much better in places like Phoenix or Miami than Kentucky. I'm just guessing though.

You did put Max to work shoveling the driveway and sidewalks right? I mean, that IS why you guys had him, to take over the lawn care and snow shoveling. Tell him to start earning his keep! ;-)

fiwa said...

I love that picture of you and Max.

Snow is ok, but only if it happens on the weekend, which it never does here. It always happens during the week on a day when I HAVE to go to work.

At least you had good reason to stay inside and eat snack food all weekend!

lovins,
fiwa

Alekx said...

I don't have the abiltiy to take a snow day like damn near everyone else in Texas. When you are emergency services you better leave for work 8 hours early so you make it on time.
I hate the cold
I hate the cold
I hate the cold

Did I mention I hate the cold

furiousBall said...

I love snow. One of the best things (although it doesn't apply here since the season is over) is football in the snow.

Tod said...

What kind of ninny livered nudist puts on clothes when it's snowing? Just get some snowshoes and deal with it.

It is all talk about a three day storm over here. As a fellow nudist it wont stop me from going to the shops, even if I do get wet leaves stuck to my arse. :)

TheBirdman33 said...

Just returned from vomitting over the thought of you as a nudist. That picture is awesome and Max looks super stoked to be chillin in the snow. Is that your very own backyard? Awesome.

TheBirdman33 said...

Speaking of which, have you started eyeing the neighborhood kids to see if there are any potential friends?

TheBirdman33 said...

FOR MAX! I don't care if you make friends lol

Patti said...

My sympathies on the cold and snow...I feel your pain. Damn cute picture - AGAIN. :)

Nikki said...

in canada is snows every single day.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I don't envy you one bit.

I hope it all melts soon.

HAR said...

It is hard to feel sorry for someone is lucky enough to have the world's second cutest baby ;)

If that baby was in my family , there would be some serious "baby hogging" going on.

Biscuit said...

The FIRST snow of the year is pretty. Each and every one after that is just a big pain in the ass. I despise being cold.

Pink said...

I love that silly hat...oh and Max's is cute too.

Max is the happiest looking baby I've seen in like forever!

He's got your smile (two teeth, that is) ;)

Hope you had a kickin' weekend
xx
pinks

RockDog said...

How cool would that be if snow came in other colors than white, yellow, and brown. It just might be the thing to bring on world peace...

Canadian flake said...

Awwwwwww you and Max look so cute together...

I can sorta relate to hating snow..lol.

Hang in there...April is just around the corner..

Mike Golch said...

First of all that is a great pic that you posted.With this being said,I'll trade you the 11" you got for the 20" we got! fair trade,Yes?????

Cheryl said...

You and Max are just too darned cute. Even with all that white.

Joshua said...

Well did you at least try to write you name in the snow?

You got a short name so I wouldn't think it would be that hard.

I just don't understand how a weekend where you have to watch TV and eat like hogs (just how do hogs eat?) is a bad thing for you.

p.s. weather here has been a low of the mid 50s to a high of the mid 70s....life is hard.

p.s.s. only 10 weeks left of school!

captain corky said...

Dana: Good news! It's been so warm here since the snow fell, that my driveway is completely clean and I didn't have to lift a finger.

Katie: Thanks! That means a lot coming from a woman that works with lots and lots of kids!

Beader: I really do like getting my news from the Internet. If there's something that I need to know, somebody somewhere will blog about it. LOL

Gawilli: LOL! It's almost completely gone.

Casdok: Thanks! I got it for like 10 dollars about 6 months before Max was born.

captain corky said...

Melissa: Unfortunately we didn't have any clothes or a sled or I would have played outside with Max a bit. Next time we'll be ready, but that could be 4 years from now. LOL

Jay: Absolutely! After he was done shoveling I gave him two pieces of bread and a half a cup of water. Gotta keep the boy in line.

Fiwa: Thanks! It was a good time, but I think I gained 20 pounds. Not good! LOL

Alekx: So you're the person who tells everyone to stay inside when it's snowing! ;)

Furiousball: Yeah, football in the snow or mud is amazing!

Terri said...

yeah, I feel your pain (not about being a nudist in snow tho). We've had over 60 inches of the white stuff this winter. I'm soooo ready for spring. Max is looking cuter every day!

captain corky said...

Todd: LOL! Wet leaves can be so uncomfortable after a while.

Birdman: Yeah, I'll send you some more pics when I get a chance. Can't right now though cause I'm busy replying to comments.

There's a kid down the street who we here on the monitor some times, so who knows... But I got big plans for our back yard and a couple of Light Sabers.

Pattie: Thanks! My plan is to make the world fall in love with Max. So far so good. ;)

Nikki: Have I ever told you about the time the Birdman and I went to Canada? ;)

How's it going so far? Are you homesick yet?

Whim: It has! There's still some left, but my driveway is completely clear and so are the roads.

captain corky said...

Har: I know what you mean... Having the world's cutest baby and all. ;)

Biscuit: This was our first real snow in almost 4 years. It should be gone by Tuesday the way it's been melting. I like going outside and having a drink during a good snow storm, but I didn't really have a chance this year.

Pink: The kid laughs all day long. It's amazing! We feel really lucky.

Rockdog: I'm all for purple and red snow myself. That would be cool.

Flake: Thank you! I know, this storm through off all my big plans for March. Better luck next month, I guess. ;)

captain corky said...

Mike: No thanks, I'm ready to go fishing. Can't have all that snow around ruining my plans.

Cheryl: Thanks! Good thing we had the red brick in the pic or who knows how terrible it would have turned out. ;)

Joshua: Mid 70's? I'm ready to move to the beach!!!

Terri: Thanks! I think we've had like 11 and half inches all year. LOL!

leslie said...

And then, when the snow melts, you get MUD!
Guess I'll just have to suffer along in my 70 degree dry heat here in sunny southern Arizona. Oh, well.
(you get to tease me in July when it's 110.)

Max loves Daddy!

nikki said...

Hey, it could have been worse. At least it wasn't 3 inches of poop falling from the sky every hour.

Guilty Secret said...

Please put Max in a basket and post him to me!

Of course I mean, "oh dear, lots of snow, that's a cute photo"

Yeah, that's what I really meant...

Peggy said...

Oh didums! The snow will melt soon, don't worry!

Max is terminally adorable!

Burfica said...

so you would probably be irritated if I told you how sunny it was here, t-shirt weather, and birds out and chirping and things starting to get buds huh??

Okay i won't mention it.

Steph said...

Holy crap, at first I thought "man, snow sucks I should buy three tickets for Corky and his crew to come visit in California" and then I read the last paragraph. You know, the one where you talk about being trapped in your home and left to eat like hogs, watch TV and movies, and spend time with your kid? Yeah, that's not too shabby buster so you had better pipe down. Sure beats the shit out of having to do yardwork ten months out of the year.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

sounds like it's time to man up. we always get a shit ton of snow. i kind of like it. ever made a snowfuck angel? it's good times. just try to make sure you arent the one on the bottom though

Portia said...

luckily it looks like we get to do without the snow this year. good thing too, because i knew it was cold, but i forgot about those little blinding dots. fucking snow!

cute hat max :)

nikki said...

I honestly love snow in my shoes. Wet socks are the most comfortable and pleasant things around. Oh, wait, I'm wrong. I don't like snow much either. Just got a new computer and had to search out my old haunting grounds. (yeah, I am that lame) Max is still cute

Princess Pointful said...

Pro of snow: Max's super awesome hat.
I so want one!

Canadian flake said...

hee hee check out the pics on my blog if ya wanna see what real snow looks like...roflmaooooo.

Emmeline said...

Such a cute pic!!! Max looks so cute, and his smile is just adorable!! He looks just like you. I think I've said that before.

Anyway . . . I'd be happy to trade places with you. I'd give anything to see one good snow before spring comes. We haven't had one yet. :(

Em

DJ Kirkby said...

There is absolutly no question who Max's daddy is! Did you clone him to saw your wife the hassle of pregnancy and birth? Wanna swop snow for flooding? N3S is begging for snow but not much chance of that over where we live in England! We do a fine job of gorwing mouldy roses thouhg...

HoosierGirl5 said...

Oh come on, Corky....the snow was FUN! At least YOU weren't snowed in with FOUR children. Imagine MY fun! But my trucker bf made it here late Friday night and I was snowed in with him, too....that was good!

Hope you and Max built a snow man.
J.

captain corky said...

Leslie: It gets pretty nasty here during the Summer too. The humidity is ridiculous and everything that was once green is brown by June.

Nikki: That's a very good point! ;)

Guilty: Before you know it, you and Baddie will be having your own litter. ;)

Peggy: Thanks! The snow should be gone by 5:00 PM today. It's going to be 52 degrees.

Burfica: Nice! It should be that way here by next week, and then I can get on with my park plans. ;)

captain corky said...

Steph: I could never do yardwork 10 months a year. I would definitely have to hire a gardener, but that would mean I would have to work harder so I could afford one, and that just won't do. ;)

Tequila Mockingbird: I think I need an illustration. ;)

Portia: It only snow for real here about once every 4 years. That's not too bad.

Nikki: Welcome back! Hope you're around for a while. ;)

Princess: It is pretty cute. Our friend Erika gave it to us. I wanted to get Max one of those hat with beer holders on the side, but I was vetoed. ;)

captain corky said...

Flake: I'll be over later today, and am looking forward to seeing the pics.

Emmeline: Thanks! One good snow storm is good, but I wish it were in December around the 25th and not in March. I'm ready to go fishing!!!

DJ Kirkby: LOL! My wife yells at me all the time telling me that Max is not clone.

Hoosiergirl5: It was a lot of fun to spend the weekend hanging out with the family. Next time we will go sledding and build a fort and do all sorts of fun stuff in the snow.

Knight said...

You crack me up.

Christie said...

Snow is only cool if it happens on a weekend and you have no plans. Plus, it helps if you just had a trip to Costco and your house if filled up with jumbo size bags of Ruffles and tubs of ranch.

Scarlett said...

Wait, wait, wait...no one ever told me that snow is bloody wet and cold!

I'm with you on the not liking snow between the socks and shoes, ugh, it's terrible!

Scarlett said...

PS...You two are SO cute!

The Adult in Question said...

Yeah, we got 246cm of snow this year and we are supposed to get two more snowstorms before the end of the month. I've had enough snow.

Gina said...

What is this white, cold stuff that you speak of? I know it not...

Erm, it was 84 degrees here yesterday?

I did not just say that, did I?

But just look at that big smile on that guy!

Jahooni said...

i'm actually reall jealous of everyone's snow. send some to cali PULEEEASSSE!

Crashdummie said...

OMG cc, you guyz look soooooooooooooo darn adoreable! But u already knew that so moving on...

snow isn't wet. If its wet its water, and water isnt snow :p

Pink Icing said...

oh Lordy, I read the post and got to the end of all the comments and forgot what I was saying...must be old age...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I don't have time to sort throught your 57 comments to see if anyone else said this already, but do you have a matching polar bear suit? That would make for one helluva photo.

Heidi the Hick said...

Dude.

I feel your pain.


(and love the kid's hat!)

Lady K said...

I really miss that shit. I mean it.

It's been in the low-to-mid-80's here.

I know. You hate me now.

captain corky said...

Knight: Thanks! ;)

Christie: Oh yeah, I spent a small fortune on food for the big storm.

Scarlett: I'm glad I could teach a thing or two about snow. ;)

The Adult in Question: Now that's a lot of fucking snow!

Gina: I may have to come and check out that state of yours someday. I hear really good things about it. ;)

captain corky said...

Jahooni: I'll have to call my brother, The Heat Miser and see if he'll let me, but he can be such a bitch about these things... ;)

Crashie: Are you sure snow isn't wet? Next you're going to tell me it isn't white either. ;)

Pink Icing: That happens to me all the time and sometimes in mid sentence. But when that happens I usually just blame the heroin.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: No, but next year Max and I are going as Mr. Roarke and Tattoo for Halloween.

Heidi: I think you feel it much worse than I do. It's gone already here. ;)

captain corky said...

Lady K: It gets way to hot out there! I don't think I'm going to complain about snow again, especially cause deep down inside I really like it. Don't tell anyone though, I have a rep to protect. ;)

Tink said...

How did I not comment on this? Maybe it was the cute overload. Babies should not be allowed to wear little penguin hats.

mjd said...

And Max is very stunning in the polar bear jumpsuit and fabulous penguin hat.

mjd said...

Corky Jr and Corky Sr look very much alike in this picture.

Bizarro Aunt Jackie said...

You Guys are adorable!!! :)

Hope you enjoyed the snow and the week, I've been trying to catch up but been busy!

Sorry :)

jAMiE said...

Well i love snow, so there!!!...but that's a really cute pic of you and the little guy...nicely done!