Monday, March 17, 2008

What Should I Do?

Every time I look at myself in the mirror (which is often) I find more and more gray hair on my head. I guess being a parent can be stressful. I thought I would have it all figured out by now.

But It seems the more that time goes by, the more concerns, fear and questions I have... One that's been really plaguing me in particular: Do I show Max Episode I - The Phantom Menace first, or should I start him off with Episode IV - A New Hope?

Because I saw Episode IV first, It's almost impossible for me to even imagine what it would be like to start with Episode I. Should I ever get amnesia, on the back of my drivers licence there is explicit instructions to show me Episode's 1 through 6 before any medication or therapy is administered. And after that, if the medication and therapy doesn't work, I'll simply go back and read Corky's log from start to finish to reeducate by brain. But let's face it folks, I'll probably never get a golden opportunity like that.

I won't even entertain the other concerns I have, like what if my offspring prefers non-Jedi characters like Han Solo, and Lando Calrissian better than the likes of Obi-Wan, Mace Windu, Yoda, or Qui-Gon? I don't know if I could ever get past that... That's the kind of shit that would keep me up all day if I really stopped to think about it.

Allyson suggests starting our children off with Episode IV because of the surprise elements. She makes a good point. Plus, they would get a chance to see that Episode I, II, III are far superior to the crap that we had no choice but to see first.

From top to bottom, the Prequel Trilogy is superior in every way, better acting, better dialogue, better special affects, better writing, and much, much more focus on the Force.

And how much hotter is Padme than Leia? Could you imagine if Padme had lived, and you were over at Leia's house and saw her mom? "Princess, you're OK, but I really wanna bang your mom!"

Sorry for the tangent. So, have any of you had to face a problem of this magnitude before? How did you handle it, or how would you? What are your opinions? Any help here would be hot.

55 comments:

Dana said...

When it comes to matters of this serious magnitude, I always err on the side of tradition. Episode IV should be first!!

Tod said...

OMG. I just don't know what to say! This post is your best... but then I always say that. Lol!

I agree with you that the prequel has better special effects...BUT Epp IV V & VI effects were groundbreaking in their day. And they were part of my childhood so they are still THE BEST!

Knight said...

I guess I didn't realize how many serious decisions you have to make when you have kids. This will be life changing for Max and it's all up to you.

The Lone Beader said...

I agree. Episode IV. Just the same as I would show Back to the Future III first. LOL.

furiousBall said...

start with Episode IV, it's the right thing to do.

Casdok said...

Shave your head and go with your gut!

Jay said...

Padme > Leia ... No doubt about it.

Dude, I don't want to give you even more gray hairs or make you lie awake at night staring at the ceiling, but there is something that might be more stressful for you....

What if Max comes up to you one day and says "Dad, I think I like soccer a lot more than the NFL."

Just think about it dude. ;-)

Steph said...

How come I now have "Leia's mom has got it going on...." in my head? Can you explain that to me? Please?

Emmeline said...

Hahahaha. What if Max doesn't even LIKE star wars?! What if he would prefer to watch "what not to wear" or some shit like that? THEN what'll you do?! :)

Em

(I know, it's totally unthinkable.)

captain corky said...

Dana: Good point! Tradition is very important to the Jedi Order.

Tod: I'm still have trouble dealing with the fact that Annie Hall beat Star Wars for best picture that year! Give me a break! Star Wars is one of the most ground breaking movies of all time. It' right up there with the Wizard of Oz and shit.

Knight: I just hope I'm strong enough to handle the pressure.

Beader: It's been a long time since I've seen Back to the Future II and III. Maybe it's time to rent that trilogy again. The first one is a masterpiece. ;)

Furiousball: I sense that I should start with Episode IV. So far it unanimous.

captain corky said...

Casdok: My guts always seems to win when I put it up against my head. ;)

Jay: Soccer leads to hate and hate leads to suffering...

Steph: I always new that you were a Star Wars geek deep down inside. ;)

Emmeline: Even worse, what if Max doesn't like Star Trek?!? I gotta go lay down now. ;)

The Adult in Question said...

Yeah, I don't know what to say...we had to watch them for Literature Studies in Science Fiction and I had a great nap during this time.

Tod said...

I forgot to say that my friend Carrie considers herself a Star Wars purist and if anyone dares to play the re-issued Epp IV with the newly added bits the air turns blue!

The Mama Bear said...

Episode IV is a must first and then go from there....follow your heart man, trust in the Force to guide you.

leslie said...

http://www.justformen.com/

Biddie said...

Well, in my humble opinion, you absolutely MUST start Max off with A New Hope. As far as characters go, OF COURSE he will prefer Han Solo. Good grief.
In fact, I should send him my MIB Han Solo that Goofy gave me for Christmas a few years back. We need to start Max off right :)

Why? said...

My cousins from Hungary came over and I noticed that when they got excited and started arguing, it sounded like they were speaking Jawa's language. (Which I believe was Boci)
What's with THAT?

dilling said...

ugh...the 1, 2 and 3 bored me to tears...I thought they would never end. But they did do a good job of showing where Luke's whininess came from, didn't they?
I actually stopped by to see if you were going to show off your St. Patricks Day boxers.

Portia said...

hmmmmm that IS quite the quandary... i wish i could help, but i must be a bit behind you. i JUST figured out that my kid has been asking to see shrek for over a week now, when i thought he was just throwing some dirty words around.

Sunshine said...

When teaching my young Jedi in the ways of the Force, I had them screening 4-6 long before they were allowed to take in 1-3. It is wise to make this choice carefully so as not to disturb the natural order of the universe. I'm glad you are taking steps to make sure Max's Star Wars learnings are optimum. Because, do you really want him introduced to Jar Jar Binks BEFORE Bib Fortuna? Uh, no, you don't.

Mrs. Corky said...

i know you prefer the prequel trilogy ang I'm okay with that (i guess), but better dialogue? really honey? we need to talk...

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

He's your son. I'm sure you'll love him no matter which character is his favorite.

I say start with IV.

jAMiE said...

I have every faith that you and Mrs Corky will figure it out for the betterment of Max...it is all about him, of course....plus i have NO IDEA what you are talking about....ooops, did i just admit that?

Am i allowed to come back?

Jahooni said...

are you talking about star wars or star trek? sorry but I don't know what either are about.

gray hairs, i thought you already were bald! ;)~

Ashley said...

I have to say that there is never a time when I thought this would be a dilemma for me, but I will role play for your sake. I am going to have to go with number IV first. Truly, I think they might be a major disappointment after the effects in I, II, and III. Plus, there are games with the new ones, so wait a few years so you cna get him hooked on those, too!

Burfica said...

ummm I thought of it, but my son watched them all in the order I watched them, 4,5, 6 then 1, 2, 3, now he watches them over and over out of sequence. 5, 3, 6, 1, stuff like that, so whatever.

Gina said...

OK, now, you are not saying that Jar Jar Binks is better than the Ewoks are you?

Because that is just sacriligeous.

I HATED episodes I, II, and III.

Yeah, they are newer and the effects are better, but the acting is HORRIBLE. And I love Ewan McGregor like a husband, and even he couldn't save them for me.

TheBirdman33 said...

I had a problem of this magnitude at the diner the other day: grilled cheese and bacon or taylor, cheese, and bacon.

Life is full of tough decisions.

TheBirdman33 said...

Are you going to show him Tim Burton's Batman movies or just start with the new Batman Begins?

Have we crossed that bridge yet ?

captain corky said...

Tod: LOL! I like the added in stuff, except for the Greedo ting...

The Mama Bear: I try to use the Force when I'm playing the lottery sometime, but it never works. ;)

Leslie: LOL!

Biddie: I liked Han Solo when I was a kid, but thanks to all the great characters added in I, II, and III and can let him stand alone as Indiana Jones.

Why?: After that, did they try and sell you some droids? LOL, I kill myself...

captain corky said...

Dilling: Sometimes when I'm having trouble going to sleep, I put in one of them, and it soothes me right to sleep. Plus, I get to learn while I'm sleeping. ;)

Portia: Oh, I'm jumping the gun here, big time! My kid's working on making sounds right now. ;)

Sunshine: You make a great point. It's unfortunate that my kid will ever have to be exposed to Jar Jar Binks. What a mistake that was...

Mrs. Corky: I can't wait to have that talk! ;) Nice to see you. ;) Have I ever told you how much I love you, dear? ;)

Whim: I suppose you're right. ;)

captain corky said...

Jamie: You can come back, but you really should go to your local video store and ask them if they have Star Wars. The guy behind the counter might look at you like you have three heads but don't let this discourage you. Rent all of them and then watch your life magically change. ;)

Jahooni: I just keep my hair very short, because my main becomes very unrully fast when I let it grow. Just like a Chia Pet. ;)

Ashley: Great point! George Lucas does not have enough of my money. Soon I will be buying his video games and then my failure will be complete. ;)

Burfica: I hope my son will do the same, but since they are always on he might not even remember which one he saw first.

Gina: Jar Jar Binks is the worst of the worst. I can't argue that point. ;)

captain corky said...

Birdman: No Tim Burton Batman Movies. EVER!

Tough choice, but I probably would have went with the Taylor ham, EGG, and cheese sandwich myself.

mrs. corky said...

i sense it too! wink!

willSIX said...

There is so much wrong with this post I do not even know where to begin. That you are even having this debate is an insult to all the Jedi who have fallen before, and those who will fall afterwards. Shame, shame, and eternal shame.

You were supposed to bring balance to the force, Captain Corky! You were my brother! For democracy! Or something!

Tink said...

What if he like Star Trek instead??

I think you should show him the movies in the order they came out. Fo' Sho'.

Joshua said...

I worry about stuff like that all the time. I find it is just easier to flip a coin.

Heads I win, tails you lose. ;)

Canadian flake said...

lmao I was lucky enough to avoid this dilema...by the time episode 1 was released my dear gremlins had already seen episodes 4-6...and have watched them all multiple times since...

Makes a momma bear proud to see her gremlins experiencing "the force"..lmao

Ashley Ladd said...

You're too much.

Definitely start your young one with Episode IV. It's blasphemy to think of anything else. Unlike you, I much prefer Episodes IV, V, and VI. I keep falling asleep during Episode I. However, Anakin is sooooo much hotter than Luke. (Don't tell my real life son "Luke" that I said that. LOL) As a woman, I can't say whether Leia or her mom are hotter. However, I will say, I'm still in love with Hans Solo. He's sooo hot.

I'm sure you'll make the best decision for your son. Thanks for visiting my blog. :)

katy said...

oh dear grey hairs and i am afraid i might add to these! i am with jamie so so sorry but hey i still love you so please dont discard me too quickly!

leslie said...

If you and Mrs. Corky keep this up, you'll have to get a room!

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Ginormous Boobs said...

I am so glad I don't have to make these such decisions. I might just go mmmmaaadddd!

Patti said...

I am so glad to finally see a parent prioritizing the right things. I'm glad that television and movies have their rightful place in your parenting. Rock on, Corky!

Patti said...

Oh, and Birdman, what is a taylor, cheese, and bacon??

leslie said...

Birdman,
Taylor pork roll rules! :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pork_roll

Jerrster said...

be a smart parent Corkster...show Max "Star Wars" 1977 (a new hope) then two years later show him "Empire Strikes Back" then wait two years and show him "Return of the Jedi" and leave it at that....then when one day when he's about 10 years old and he says to you "Dad, why didn't you tell me about "Jar-Jar Binks?" Hold your head up and like a Klingon mourning the death of a fallen comrade let out a blood curdling SCREAM!

captain corky said...

Mrs. Corky: I should talk about Star Wars more often... It's nice to see you around. ;)

Willsix: I sense great fear in you. You have hate! You have Anger! But you don't use them.

Tink: That would be perfect!

Joshua: That's not a bad way to live.

Canadian Flake: All moms should try to be more like you, Flake. ;)

captain corky said...

Ashley Ladd: I plan on having all boys, so the Han Solo love factor won't play a roll. Thanks for stopping by. What time should I expect you tomorrow? ;)

Katy: If only I had the opportunity to start from the begging... I would never discard you. ;)

Leslie: To spice things up maybe I should wear a Jedi robe. LOL

TV Digital: Thanks for the spam. A comment is a comment and always love a good hug.

Ginormous Boobs: I know... I lead a very tough life. ;)

captain corky said...

Patti: TV and Movies are right on top of my list. Only diapers, formula, and food takes precedent.

Make Birdman take you to THE DINER sometime. That's the only way you'll learn.

Leslie: Three comments in one post makes Corky a very happy Man. ;)

Jerrster: Maybe I should charge him admission too. LOL! "That will cost you 20 bucks son, but don't worry I'll take it out of your birthday money."

Tequila Mockingbird said...

uggggh youre supposed to have grey hairs. a few weeks ago i found a silver hair, and that sufficiently tweaked me out, being that i'm only 23. siiiiighs. not even magnum pi and drinking in the afternoon could quiet my sadness.

eric said...

i remember watching III and the first thing i thought at the end was that i wanted to IV to enjoy that sense of hope.

then again ... if you start with the prequels, the older ones might be a serious letdown, and perhaps the prequels will lose a bit of luster because of the surprise factor.

in any case, jedis will always be cooler.

nikki said...

I got to say, if you show him episodes 4-6 first (which I refuse to call them. They are: Star Wars (i don't even say a new hope), Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi.
Anyway, if you show him these first, how could he NOT like non-jedi's better. Luke is a whiny baby plain and simple. AND, he's not that smart. If that's the spokeman of Jedi-ism, then you either have to go to the dark side or Han. (I LOVE Han.)

Bizarro Aunt Jackie said...

LOL> Another good quandry you have posed here... and always great posting by Corky!

What'chu talkin bout!

All great though if you ask me.

Maureen said...

From a real SW geek.... show A New Hope first.

Then explain the 25 year time lapse to explain WHY the effects, technology and such were BETTER in the prequels.

Very confusing for someone who didn't live during the first three film's theatrical releases. For those of us who WERE there, Episodes 4, 5 and 6 are interlaced with nostalgia, and we give it a lot of leeway compared to the prequels.

I love them all, but for different reasons. My favorite is still Empire, even though after working with Ray Park I have a soft spot for Darth Maul ;)